waking up in dreams

My friend recommended The Lion In Winter to me and let me just say— the sheer rate that characters say absolutely stunning lines in this movie that are either hilarious or insane or both in equal measure is honestly so rapid fire I feel like I need the script open in my lap in order to keep up. Every time Katharine Hepburn says anything I have a shiteating grin on my face, I love this woman who is so unabashedly evil just because she finds it amusing. I love Peter O’Toole yelling and chewing everyone out and playing the rowdiest game of fifth dimensional chess anyone’s ever seen. It would actually be less horny if the two of them fucked onscreen. The most devious character in this movie is called Jeff. “Have you ever wondered if I slept with your father?” John runs around the castle like fucking Naruto. Outdoing Shakespeare himself by performing the “hiding and eavesdropping” trope with twice as many people as usual. The King of France is bisexual. He’s also homophobic. They all love each other, they all hate each other, I have no idea what anyone actually wants and neither do they, really. “My finest angle, it’s on all the coins.” Poor Alais is the only one in the entire thing with actual humanity and that’s why she suffers so much. Knight knife fight that sounds like a gay porno. The brief flashes of tenderness between Henry and Eleanor genuinely make me feel fucking crazy. I’ve never felt so seen by a movie recommendation in my life. 5/5

You can lie when you name things

i showed this post to my mom and she suggested i make a shirt with a png of a red delicious apple on it and text underneath that says You can lie when you name things

she’s calling red delicious the real forbidden fruit