STATEMENT REMAINS

NON-freaks dni. This is a freaks only zone

Hey man. Not my mountain not my eagle not my liver. Not my problem

“and in this universe would you be helping him psychologically and trying to redirect his behavior” oh nah but i would be holding him tenderly. and on that dick. regularly

“ah he’s stabbed someone again” yeah. i was there. and you won’t like what happened afterwards

stevetony kinda the workplace romance of all time if you think about it: imagine starting a new job and the handsome billionaire man that funds the company invites you to live in his beautiful childhood mansion and offers you his black amex on a silver platter so you never have to pay for anything ever again. and then your fave coworker slash work husband turns out to also be said hot rich man and he's in love with you. steve rogers the culmination of every romcom protagonist's hopes and dreams

It's unfortunate that "I'm a pervert and wanna see" isn't an attractive statement to make because I am and often do like what the hell

they are replacing penis and vagina with 2 new species of terrible awful birds

May this post find you shitting at work

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.

im about to catsit next month for a (lovingly) crazy woman who is so deeply obsessed with her cat's care its touching truly. he needs insulin shots and she is telling me that shes going to send voice notes to my phone of her saying "copo! baby! its time for your insulin!" "come here handsome!" "its insulin time sweetie!" so that he feels safe getting his insulin from a stranger. im like girl i love it. i love this

she was telling me yesterday "sometimes i look at him and he looks at me and i feel like we can hear each other's thoughts. is that crazy" and i was like "no of course not"

“but if i communicate it perfectly then they will understand me” WRONG 10,000 years of suffering