Sassy Marshmallow

it’s not activism for your behalf. it’s not even activism. it’s community building and a hopepunk reminder that things can be utter shit but also be fun and silly.

Hey there, 

I’m not joking at all and I don’t really see how this would be a laughing matter to you. 

Yes, you signed up for a trans kid. And while we are at it, you also signed up for a disabled kid. Autistic kid. Gay kid. A kid who doesn’’t look like you. A deaf kid. A kid who will have interests that don’t match up with yours at all. You signed up for a shy kid and a loud kid and a kid who wets the bed and a sick kid.  

That’s the beauty, the miracle of parenthood, don’t you agree? You decide to care for a little person you don’t even know yet. You decide to open your heart and home to them, you promise to nurture and love and protect a tiny human being. How can you promise that, if not unconditionally? 

You can’t pick and choose your kid. Maybe even more importantly, they can’t choose you. They depend on you to keep that promise - and not only if they live up to whatever expectations you had. 

With all my love, 

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.

5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.

Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.

Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.

But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).

Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.

90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.

I’ve lived in a 3 adult household my whole life. My parents and their best friend. This was never weird to me, even though everyone my age thought it was because the media never portrayed these kinds of housing arrangements. As far as i was concerned, I just had an extra non-blood parent.

According to my parents, it was very common in the 70′s-80′s to buy houses with your friends, because it was financially smart to do so (so long as you were certain they were close friends who wouldn’t fall out with you and fuck everything up). Houses and house payments are much more manageable when you split the bills 3-4 ways instead of just two.

Millenials aren’t the first to think it’s a great idea to just shack up with friends. That’s housemating without the hastle of living with strangers. It’s still a good idea to shack up with people you’ve known a long time so you know how you’ll get on living together, but still. In the current economy, it’s pretty much now our only option for affording anything.

I think, and I’m not researched on this, but I think conservatives probably tried to suppress images of non-nuclear families because they likely thought it would encourage ideas of polygamy, polyamory, open sexual relationships with or without marriage, as well as other relationship types they thought of as un-christian or unsavoury. I could be wrong, but that shit wouldn’t surprise me.

(And i want to make a note that there’s also a disturbing amount of asexual denial around that makes people go ‘if they’re living together they HAVE to be banging because why wouldn’t they?’ and that shit both creeps me out and annoys me no end. People can be in relationships without sex. People can live together without sex. Sex is not the be-all and end-all and people being taught to think it is really need to stop).

The notable exception was my grandma, who was just like, “oh, yes, when we were young my sister and I decided to move cross-country together and it was lovely.”

With only two working-age people in the house, it’s very difficult to make ends meet without one of them (or increasingly, these days, both of them) working away the vast majority of their waking hours to earn enough money to support the household. The other person, if they aren’t also working similar hours, is there to support that working person, full time, with unpaid labour.

The end result of this is that nobody has any time or energy to spend together properly, and they just end up tired and miserable and shackled to their work, throwing money at their problems because it’s all they can do. It’s very easy to convince tired, miserable people to spend their money in the ways you want them to, and it’s also very easy to manipulate and oppress people who don’t have the energy or the means to fight for their rights. Convince a whole nation that this is the way the world is supposed to work, and you’ll be well away.

“The term nuclear family first appeared in the early twentieth century.”

“The concept that narrowly defines a nuclear family is central to stability in modern society that has been promoted by familialists who are social conservatives in the United States

[The idea] has been challenged as historically and sociologically inadequate to describe the complexity of actual family relations.”

Largely an English thing and does commonly does go back centuries but not the norm in Southern Europe, in parts of Asia, and the Middle East.

The nuclear family became the most common form in the U.S. in the 1960s and 1970s. And wiki has a whole section on how it’s a conservative belief that nuclear families are superior to other family set ups.

On love, diamonds, white dresses and other wedding hype that seem timeless also only go back around a century. Further supporting it’s also a really capitalistic thing.

“The truth is, for most of human history, love was considered a temporary emotion and had almost nothing to do with marriage. In fact, loving your spouse was once considered weird and irresponsible.” - How marriage has changed over centuries.

“My battery is low and it’s getting dark”

“We hear you, Oppy, and we bid you goodnight”

Girls supporting Girls. 

climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house

crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell 

the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall

If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.

-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.

-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.

-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.

-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.

-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.

-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.

-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.

-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.

-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.

-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!

-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.

-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.

-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.

-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.

-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.

-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.

-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.

-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.

-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.

-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.

-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.

-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.

-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.

-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.

-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.

-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.

-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.

•Keeping a $10 bill on the inside of my phone case for emergencies. My mother will search my wallet and bags but has not taken my phone case off when she takes my phone as of yet.

•stashing loose change I find in the soil of my potted plant. Very quiet hiding place for coins. All bills are quickly confiscated but coins I have managed to hold onto this way

•changing food stash locations constantly. A good stash I’ve found is buried in my mice seed mix. Small packages or granola bars can fit in there pretty easily and the wrappers are flushable (I know it’s bad to flush them but my trash is routinely searched)

• always deleting online traces in case of phone/computer search. This includes search history, forbidden apps, messages, pictures, notes, games, etc. I don’t know how many times I have deleted the tumblr app during the day only to re download it late at night to use it. My phone and computer are constantly confiscated and gone through with a fine tooth comb. I delete anything I might possibly get in trouble for after I use it and re download it when I need it again. Don’t delete all your browsing history though, they will notice if it’s suspiciously empty. Fill it with safe and approved stuff and remove anything you might get punished for.

•learning what each and every door in the house sounds like so I know who is where at all times without having to leave the room

•learning where those ‘sweet spots’ are in the house where you can notice anyone coming before they can see you or what you are doing

•always having a pre-approved cover. I use books and preaching videos as covers. I can hide a phone in a book or quickly switch apps to the one playing the video if surprised or discovered.

• always being aware of ‘the trail’. If I tell a friend something who tells their sibling who tells my sibling who tells my mom I get punished so basically tell no one and it won’t come back to bite you. This includes talking about tv shows/movies that are forbidden, forbidden foods/drinks, activities, apps, games, friends, political views, etc. Express an opinion and it’s bound to reach someone you don’t want it to.

•never take from your abuser’s personal stash of food or money. The family pantry is fair game to carefully pilfer from and so is loose change but never take from their personal purse/wallet, fridge, pantry, or stash. They WILL find out.

•beware of traps and manipulation . My mother will leave money and food unattended and wait for it to disappear. She will also act like she wants to do a good thing and help you out but in the end you will pay for it a hundred times over. Avoid this if at all possible.

-bring a large cup to pee in when it is not safe for you to leave your room or space. be sure to sneak it down a drain as soon as possible.

-other foods to stash away include trail mix, breakfast bars, fruits and veggies. a couple slices of bread and cheese aren’t as easily missed either.

-i have had luck taping paper money to the underside of our rug.

-be aware that you will likely carry the weight of this time with you for a long while. most of my nightmares still take place in my childhood home, where i haven’t lived in over five years.

-Avoid plastic and paper. They russle a lot, especially when you’re trying to be quiet. As stated above pillowcases are a godsend.

-If you can access the kitchen during the day (and not get caught doing this) move things you might need, granola on the shelf you can only just barely reach? Pull one bar out and slip it to the lowest shelf in the whole kitchen. Put it somewhere no one will check.

-The bottom of a trash can is NOT a good hiding spot. Tempting I know. I’ve hidden a secret stash under a trash bag. Played it off a few times as being a good kid and taking out the trash. But you would have to be the one to always take it out if you did this. Always. You can’t rely on ‘probablies’.

-Self aid. Go to your school nurse and ask for Band-Aids. School computer lab have alcohol pads so you can clean off the mouse? Take some. They will hurt and burn but a clean wound is so much better than an infected one.

-For those of you with allergies to the Staples (peanut butter, bread, cheese, the like) Beans are your new best friend. They suck but hey, they work.

-AVOID SWEETS. This sucks I know. But sweets leave more behind than a chocolate colored tongue, including a sweetened breath (I got busted so badly once even after scrubbing my tongue.)

And finally,

Set aside some time, to allow yourself to work through each step. Don’t rush or skip ahead. See care is important, and you deserve to devote some time to it.

You may want to go through this routine as soon as you wake up, as a preventive measure.

1 - Have you eaten in the last four hours?

If you haven’t eaten in a little while, your body needs fuel. It’s time for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

If there’s a specific food you want, it’s okay to eat it! You don’t have to eat perfectly healthy all the time– no one does! Just also use your brain a little, and notice the quantity you’re eating, and how healthy it is for you. You’re probably just fine at trusting your gut and knowing what your body needs.

Making a meal is hard for you right now, and that’s okay! Everybody struggles with cooking sometimes.

You have some options:

You can cook a meal for yourself.

You might have ready-made meals in the fridge.

You can get take-out or delivery.

You can go to a restaurant.

Take-out, delivery, and restaurants are a little more expensive than cooking on your own, but how you spend your money is your decision. It’s okay to treat yourself!

If you’re going to cook on your own, you have to decide what to make. A friend, partner, or family member can help with this. Here are some ideas for easy foods you can eat right now:

Pasta with butter, sauce, cheese, vegetables, and/or meat

Ramen noodles

Sandwiches

Rice

Grilled cheese (This can have meat on it, if you want!)

A smoothie or milkshake

Baked or fried potatoes

Eggs, pancakes, and/or bacon

Macaroni and cheese

Canned soup

Salad

Vegan

Boxed mashed potatoes

2 - Have you taken any medication you need to take?

Medication needs to be taken on schedule, or your body might react negatively.

Take some time now to take any pills, do any tests or injections, or apply any ointments prescribed by your doctor.

If this is a persistent problem for you, you may want to set a smart phone alarm so you remember to take it at the same time every day.

3 - Are you keeping yourself hydrated?

Drink a glass of whatever liquid you like best. Water is ideal, but don’t beat yourself up if you’d rather have tea, soda, juice, or milk. Soda will actually make you feel thirstier, but if it’s easier for you, then that’s okay!

4 - Can you take a guess at how many hours you’ve slept out of the last 24?

Everyone is an individual with different sleep schedules, but most people need 8 hours of relatively uninterrupted sleep. If you had less than that, and/or woke up frequently, and/or had nightmares, it might help you to take a nap.

Take a nap. You can finish this self-care guide when you wake up.

Ideally, let yourself sleep naturally, and sleep until you wake up. Obviously, this isn’t always possible. Otherwise, set an alarm for yourself, with plenty of time to wake up and get yourself together between your nap and your responsibilities.

5 - Are you in pain?

If there is something your doctor has prescribed you for pain, you should take it or do it.

For aches and pains, take an aspirin. You may also want to apply a heating pad or a cold pack on whatever hurts.

If you have a stomach ache, there are medications for that, like Pepto Bismol, and hot tea may also help.

Be nice to your body, and try to do “replace” the unpleasant pain with some pleasant alternative sensations, like good smells and pleasurable textures.

6 - Is something about your environment distressing or uncomfortable? Are your surroundings the right temperature?

If you’re too cold, you can try putting on some warm clothes, using a space heater, turning up the heat in your home, putting on a blanket, and/or snuggling with a pet or another person.

If you’re too hot, you can try putting on cooler clothes, turning on a fan, or turning up the AC in your house.

7 - Are your surroundings dirty or smelly?

It’s hard to feel okay in an environment that is unfriendly for whatever reason. If your surroundings aren’t clean, set a timer for five minutes and take care of the biggest problems, like leftover food, pet messes, or dirty clothes.

Chores can be scary and exhausting, but that’s not what we’re doing here. We’re just taking a little five-minute clean up to make ourselves and our homes happier!

8 - Do you feel unsafe because of the people, or lack of people, in your surroundings?

If you can, try to remove yourself from situations that are overwhelming or feel unsafe. If you can’t relocate entirely, take frequent breaks, or tune out with headphones.

9 - Does your body feel uncomfortable, sweaty, or dirty?

If you have the energy and ability to take a shower, it may be a good idea. If you are unable to take a shower, here are some things to do instead:

Wash your face

Put on lotion

Change your clothes

Use dry shampoo

Whatever physical self-care activity you like best!

10 -  Do you know why you’re in a bad mood, or not feeling well emotionally?

(Remember, any answer is okay!) If there’s something on your mind, we’re going to do our best to take care of it.

11 - If there is something in your mind, set a timer for 15 minutes, and work on a solution.

If it’s something you can change, then great! If not, do your best to reach out to someone and talk about it.

12 - Remember, 15 minutes and only 15!

You can go back to whatever it is after we’re done working through this together. We’re just taking baby steps in the right direction.

13 - Sometimes, we don’t know the source of our bad feelings, and that’s okay.

14 - Do you feel anxious, nervous, keyed-up, paranoid, scared, or on edge?

If you’re generally anxious but don’t know why, that’s okay!

If you’re feeling anxious about something specific. That’s okay! Set a timer for 15 minutes and do something to take care of that worry. Maybe chip away at a task that seems insurmountable. You can do it!

15 - Here are some ideas for grounding activities:

Take deep, calm breaths.

Notice and list things in your surroundings.

Expose yourself to strong, pleasant sensations, like a pleasing smell or a favorite blanket.

Say out loud your name, your age, the date, and your location. List some things you’ve done today, or are going to do.

Splash water on your face or run your hands under the faucet.

Do a body scan meditation, or pay close attention to each of your body parts one by one.

Make tea. Feel the warmth of it in your hands, and the taste as you sip it calmly. Listen to music.

Play a categories game, and name some types of dogs, or clothing items, or gemstones, or countries, or anything else you can think of.

Write in your journal.

Take a mindful walk, either inside or outside. Pay close attention to your body and your surroundings.

Squiggle. Wiggle around. Dance. Stretch. Be silly and active for a few minutes.

Any other favorite grounding technique you’ve heard of or can think of.

There’s nothing wrong with experimenting!

16 - Do you feel triggered? Are you having flashbacks? Is something traumatic or upsetting from the past weighing on your mind? Did you have a vivid nightmare?

If you’re feeling triggered, see if there’s a practical action you can take to lessen your distress. Can you block that unsafe person from your Facebook, for example?

If not, reach out and tell someone safe how you’re feeling. Just express yourself! Human contact works wonders when you’re not feeling well emotionally.

Remember that you’re here in the present, and nothing from your past can hurt you. If you like, you may want to try some grounding exercises to reinforce that idea.

17 - Are you feeling dissociated, depersonalized, or derealized? Do you feel far away, foggy, or unreal? Are you not sure who you are?

Go back to number 6 and try the grounding activities.

18 - Are you feeling depressed, sad, or upset?

Feeling depressed isn’t fun, but it doesn’t last forever! Don’t be mad or disappointed with yourself for feeling depressed.

Take 15 minutes and accomplish something small, like loading the dishwasher or making a friendship bracelet. You are not a failure, and your situation is not hopeless! You are a superhero, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

19 - Are you feeling lonely?

Everybody feels lonely sometimes. If you’re feeling lonely, there’s ways to reach out to people!

You can talk to someone in your house, or call someone on the phone. You can also use texting or Facebook messenger to speak to someone. You may want to talk about how you’re feeling, or you may not. Anything you want to talk about is okay!

If that isn’t or doesn’t seem possible, you can post a general message on Facebook, Tumblr, Vent, or another internet service, about whatever you want!

20 - Are you feeling foggy?

If you are feeling foggy, you might need some exercise.

21 - Do you have the energy and ability to go for a walk?

If you can’t take a walk, that’s okay!

Here are some alternatives:

Jumping jacks

Bouncing on the bed

Dancing

Push ups or sit ups, if you like doing them

Walking up and down the stairs

Yoga

Wiggling, squirming, jiggling around; being silly and active and having fun!

If none of those are or seem possible, just sit outside for some fresh air!

22 - Do you have pets at home?

Playing with pets can be a great way to take the edge off when you’re not feeling well. It doesn’t matter what kind of pet you have, just take some time to interact with them. Pet your cat, take your dog outside, feed your fish, hug your lizard…

23 - Take half an hour and do whatever you want to do right now.

This can be anything: crafts, watching TV, laying on the couch, taking a walk, playing Farmville… your choices are literally endless!

Obviously, don’t do anything that’s bad for you, like feeding addictions or harming yourself or others

24 - It’s time to reassess.

Maybe now that you’ve done all this self care, you feel better– great! Maybe you don’t, and that’s okay too. But hopefully you’ve cleared things up and you know what to do next to take care of yourself.

You deserve self care, so even if it’s hard, do your best!

Good luck!

IS

NOT

Me, a good Utahn/Idahoan: