It’s also really nuanced and interesting the way it’s scripted and shot, because Yuna isn’t WRONG in her earlier strategising about having a word with Rolex. That’s both good agent-ing and the kind of thinking both men deserve from their supporters.
Yuna’s “what’s the plan” focus draws attention to another/a new gap between Shane and his parents: she’s now assuming Shane is a comfortable-in-himself gay man (albeit closeted), and probably has been for years. She doesn’t KNOW how new being sure enough to actually be honest with Ilya is.
So “but that’s sad” is partly bringing her and David onto the same page: it’s sad, but it’s something both these men value enough to strategise for and protect.
On the other hand: what the camera panning across all four faces there is showing the audience is that Shane and Ilya are resigned to something that will make them sadder than they deserve. And neither of them seem able to think of it as anything but an inevitability to be waited out- even though the surprised straight people in the room can.
Of course Shane only came up with his Grand Plan the night before, Ilya only got his head around Shane valuing him enough to make a plan the night before: on a character level it makes perfect sense. It also lampshades the level of black and white thinking both of them are locked into in the next book: Ilya desperately sad but unable to articulate much about it and repeatedly rejecting the sensible proportionate suggestions his therapist has; Shane hearing from Rose that they need a “plan b” for if they get outed and just being like… but if that happens it’s the end of the world.
This, too, is The Queer Experience. Sometimes the people outside your Marginalisation who see you and care about you saying “that’s sad” are actually right. It IS sad, and you deserve better. Even if there isn’t another option, it’s worth paying attention to those people. You deserve empathy!
Like… I blow off steam at work by laughing about callers on the phone who struggle with my name not matching the way they gender my voice. My boss every so often reminds me that deserve to be gendered properly and I have to re-specify that I don’t actually care about the people who pick a binary assumption and go with it, it’s the people who keep asking for explanations that bug me.
On the other hand, recently that happened in a formal setting and the person struggling was very senior, and it was too public/formal/not about me for me to make a jokey explanation.
It took several other very senior people checking in for me to get out of “this always happens, I signed up for it” mode. They had to remind me that it would be very bad if that had been directed at one of our public/client base. And THEN I told my boss when she got back - in my head I was telling her I’d caused a fuss she should be aware of.
Boss: that shouldn’t have happened. I’m really sorry. What can I do for you?
Me, very slowly, in my brain: huh. People are sorry that happens because it… sucks? Even if I’m not terribly upset by it? It’s suboptimal that it does keep happening? People would like to support me? Huh.
So. Yeah. Yuna is probably going to learn pretty quickly not to directly address with Shane or Ilya the fact that It’s Sad, which would be in line with the way she and Shane seem to communicate about emotional stuff. But honestly Shane could do with more reminders that It’s Sad, Actually.
