sarcastic trash queen: quarentine edition

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.

good thing they're hidden from god and the devil

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

I was born an identical twin shortly after 911, my mum is CONVINCED me and my sister are the twin towers reincarnate

HUH

Looks like 9/11 came early this year ❤️

Imagine you are Jared Padalecki you’ve just come off the cute show about women and are going to be a co-lead in an occult like tv show. You go to film the pilot episode where you are then told they are going to put you in a room and proceed to set it on fire. Imagine you are Jensen Ackles being told your job is to wait for the cue and proceed to run in and grab him. Imagine you are both of them when the episode after the two of you get jumped outside a bar during filming your entire team informs you will be put in a room with 60,000 bees without gear. You also survive this only to be told they didn’t show up on camera and they used cgi anyways. You use umbrellas once in the rain, you are told you will never be allowed to use them again.

Hey did anyone notice that the grass is a little greener and all of the birds’ singing is even more beautiful today, or is that just me.

two-day delivery like they had Prime shipping.

it's nice they let him go in his little tent and do his little routine, like taking a dog to all of its favourite places before you put it down

my apologies etsy witches i was not familiar with your game

Every time this happens I go man it’s so awesome to live my life in a way where my death won’t have people cheering in the streets

Just saying. In the same way that we look back at the death of nazis now and can easily and objectively say that that was a morally good thing to happen... in 50, 75, 100 years, the deaths of our current right wing fascists will be viewed that way.

'This will trigger backlash' besties they are already killing you??