He's Mr Outerspace

Stop moaning and arching your back - this is an autopsy!

U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping

the man who has witnessed a thousand bloody battles saying the airport bar is the worst place he’s been is based, actually

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

2025 thirty rock episode cerie calls jenna's new belt 'so cunt' and jenna immediately clings to this new young slang but only uses it to the crew who does not know its a compliment and become more and more offended. meanwhile jack has discovered generative AI and think it would be fantastic for script writing. liz is deeply morally offended by this implication but is distracted from her moral stance by the crew starting an uprising against jenna, calling her a misogynistic pig. jenna is beside herself about the 'pig' bit. pete begins to implement the AI behind liz's back because he doesnt give a fuck. the AI is only referencing news items that have not happened and tracy's real scandals, as a result tracy begins to believe that the AI is alive and wants to kill him. kenneth strongly believes that god is communicating with him through the AI chatbot. dot com refuses to help tracy because he is strongly morally opposed to the idea of AI in the arts and has expressed this to tracy many times. kenneth convinces jack that the AI chatbot is god, jack begins to confess his sins and the bot starts to use them to write skits for the show. liz sees what is happening but thinks that using these skits is the only way to make jack see that AI cant write for the show and save the writers jobs. tracy digs through his dressing room floor and stabs through the ethernet cable to kill the bot after learning the layout of the internet. the show is cancelled that week due to pulling funding from network television.

When you go to the doctor's office, if you're a woman, they should give you a gun to use on the doctor if they dismiss your problem. Same if you're fat. Fat women get two guns in case the doctor really deserves it

the awe on her little face, she just realized there is hope

can we talk about women fucking. for once could we make up stories about women fucking each other

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.