cephalopod at hearts

My first conversation about PCOS with my new endocrine/OBGYN was about weight management and how that could improve my fertility when I eventually wanted kids. It wasn't asked what my goals were for my health or if I wanted kids, just assumed.

I was a hormonal, depressed mess. I hated my body. My body dysmorphia was so bad that I cloistered myself away from so much. I wore hoodies and jeans in the 90°F, 80% humidity summers. This was considered fine. I was given metformin and birth control pills and told this was all that could be done. That PCOS wouldn't affect my life until I wanted to be pregnant. I wasn't asked if I wanted to be pregnant, just assumed.

I don't know how many PCOS groups I joined on my early 20s hoping to find community and commonality for body dysmorphia and symptom management, only to be bombarded with fertility treatments and tips and 'inspirational conception' anecdotes. They never asked if I was attempting to conceive, just assumed.

> that country

idk my friend, if you need to pretend that trans men don't have materially different experience of patriarchy & are classed differently under patriarchy than cis men, in order to see trans men's manhood as real? i don't think your line of thinking is much different than TERFs who stubbornly refuse to admit that trans women are also have a materially different experience of patriarchy & are classed differently than cis men.

in both cases, rather than acknowledging how the cissexism in feminism has led to the erasure of how fundamental queerphobia and transphobia is to upholding patriarchy, you are clinging to that very cissexism, and privileging the experiences of cis people over trans people and basically blatantly stating that it is the experiences of cis people which define what it means to be a "real" man or woman.

but while we recognise the parasocial nature of getting overly attached to strangers online , i'm not sure people realise this is what happens on a regular basis towards visibly disabled people in their real lives. being easier to spot in a crowd makes people notice you more often and remember you more strongly. people also mistake the information of "this person has a disability" as intimate shared information. perhaps they recognise it as the vulnerable information that it is. and so visibly disabled people are often treated by neighbours or distant acquaintances or strangers as someone they know. maybe even someone they're entitled to talk to familiarly or ask about.

in actuality they don't know anything private about this random disabled person. i bet most people, abled or disabled would be unable to tell the disabilities someone has just by looking at their visual symptoms. neither did they really notice the disabled person or learn anything about them that they would usually strive to learn about someone they're getting to know. you don't know what that visibly disabled person likes or dislikes, believes in, advocates for, spends their time doing.

visibly disabled people know it wasn't any aspect of their personhood that stuck in the mind of some stranger, but rather understand that they are being seen as a human shaped disability. and visibly disabled people haven't made any decision to confide in strangers, just like you don't "share" the information that you can walk on two legs, or have four limbs, or no scars, or the ability to speak and hear by existing in public, disabled people aren't "sharing" their scars or limb difference or anything else by existing in public.

Meanwhile in the uk an old fascist lady died and the left are saying we shouldn’t celebrate it 

Meanwhile in the uk an old fascist lady died and the left are saying we shouldn’t celebrate it 

"All you had to do was pay us enough to live"