build greatness and die ordinary

and then you get to the hospital and the doctors try to kill you

God forbid women do anything

Reading about an arsenic murder case in which probably a daughter killed her mom with poisoned clam chowder but she was acquitted because the defense were like “can you prove that ANYONE wouldn’t die after eating takeout clam chowder delivered by children in August? In 1896?” and the jury were like no yeah fair point I too have had clam chowder stomach

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

A problem with a lot of folks' speculation about how Deltarune is going to end is that they're treating all meta brainfuck indie games as basically interchangeable and anticipating some sort of Void Stranger level ass-pull even though literally nothing about the game's narrative structure to date points in that direction.

Like, I'm not saying there's not gonna be a swerve, but there are levels of fuckery. "Rudy is the Roaring Knight" okay, sure, let's go with that. "Town is a simulation running on a computer in Undertale!Alphys' basement" you have played too much Animal Well.

Hard wife happy life

Home is where the hung wife is

it's cool how in the 6 years since this tweet was written it's become significantly less useful not because anything has gotten better but because the majority of products on Amazon are now from fly-by-night brands called "ZZPORK" and "GLUM4PANT"

This is the funniest scam I’ve ever seen

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.