oooh jay loves compliments so much because he never learned how to value himself in any meaningful way outside of them and has no sense of intrinsic value whatsoever. being complimented on superficial things outside of his control imbues a sense of value that is not dependent on any factor that he would ever have to actually work for, therefore validating his inability to ever create meaningful change within himself or his life while also reinforcing that he doesn't have to achieve anything outside of this value to still be praiseworthy and pleasing! good morning!

honestly how it feels to have no idea at all what's going on anywhere bc I do not engage in anything remotely fandom related outside of tumblr 🐬✨❤️🏵️🎆 🌺🌟

I love in the big time when the woman who gives matt alcohol says "okay now say yeehaw" and you can feel the exact moment the nirvanna the band matt johnson leaves his body and the director matt takes over because he sounds cynical as hell and like he absolutely does not want to fucking to say that lmao

thinking about when I heard matt johnson refer to matt the dirties as "matty" and giving myself psychic damage

every time I listen to a great album I've never heard i'm like wow I haven't heard an album this good in....and it's like realistically only a few weeks because I keep finding music that I love and there's so much of it and it's so easy to love things. #lover girl

speaking of their interior set work, I keep thinking about how in the commentary they talked about designing Jay's room and trying to make it classy and sophisticated. that's so cute and true to character to me! like they gave him a fancy lamp and a little framed picture on his wall and an old coil corded phone. pretty bird with his pretty room and his cozy life that he briefly wanted to escape but that I know he couldn't wait to get home to after it was all said and done. still want him with ptsd in season 3 though, he deserves it

off so much xanax for my flight I don't even think I would care if we crashed I would just be like omg wow ive never been in a plane crash before!

ok all jokes aside it literally does make me feel really sick to think about how the ntbts universe is basically matt johnson's way of saying "in another world we are doing this forever" and then when he gets interviewed he's like "yeah this is the real me, this is the me that never had to succumb to socialization, this is the me I want to be remembered." like it's actually so serious to me, I feel faint

i love how in a lot of ways we treat jay mccarrol like he has schrodinger's mommy issues. she has munchausen by proxy. she never takes him to the doctor even when he's really sick. she's crunchy and never allowed him to take medicine, she's constantly giving him medicine for illnesses he doesn't even have "just to be safe." she's overprotective, she's entirely neglectful, she hates matt, she wishes jay could be more like matt, etc. but there is one single eternal truth I think everyone can agree on - she definitely DEFINITELY has an eating disorder and now jay is a sugar sweet candy boy with weird hangups forever and ever amen