Bardo

yay

having a king bed sounds scary what if you try to put the fitted sheet on and get lost in there and die like a caver

op im coming to your home to beat you in the face and ass

cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

Reblogged this before reading the notes, so now I'm editing my reblog to note that this story is 7 years old, the nurse sued and won, the cop got fired, laws and policies got changed to further protect patients and healthcare workers

My mother is like “I will STAKD by my child no matter what” except it’s been a year since I came out and she sends me random woman’s clothes and the moment I decide to complain I’m the problem and she’s done nothing wrong

I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."

bitch on fries? that lil white thang?

The very same.

This post is so fucking funny to me. This is just a pic with a pile of croc shoes crossed out red with the title “I hate Crocs.” OP posted this in 2008 and never posted anything else, we don’t know anything else about them. OP’s URL is the word hatred and nothing else. For some reason however, their url did not get added a “-blog” suffix that the change in 2016 brought (maybe because this was made in 2008 but still. What if someone wants their URL? :( ) Truly the post of all time.