The Ir-Revered @snommelp - Tumblr Blog

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

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ontopofgravity

I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

teakayblog

Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”

auspiciousleader

Happy 10th anniversary to Fortify

meirmakesstuff

A guy at the gym just looked around, realized he was lifting the same weight as a "girl" in a wheelchair, pushed his weight up two notches, screamed once, and left.

meirmakesstuff

Like,

meirmakesstuff

This could have been avoided by keeping your eyes on your own workout,

This could have been avoided by realizing not all disabilities make people weaker--in fact, the opposite,

This could have been avoided by just being normal about things, man, I don't know what to tell you

meirmakesstuff

My wife (they/them) is the wheelchair user in this scenario. I was on standby because sometimes they lift so much weight they start to tip over.

whencartoonsruletheworld

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

whencartoonsruletheworld

do you think these people can read

phoenix

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

#what they don't want to say out loud is that the don't think black people can be beautiful #Helen of Troy was supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the world #and they don't think black people can be beautiful #even though Lupita Nyong'o is gorgeous

prokopetz

Predictions for Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro's management in the coming years:

Uma Musume style horsegirls introduced to the Forgotten Realms; setting's lore revised so that they've always been there.

Advancement rules now stipulate per-session XP bonus based on lifetime D&D Beyond purchase history.

Compendium of exclusive feat trees for specific gender and sexual identities. Bisexuality receives no feats of its own, being mechanically implemented as "half gay"; the resulting synergies are disgusting.

Editorial error in revised Dungeon Master's Guide accidentally refers to Dungeon Masters as Hasbro's employees.

"Noble savage" coding of barbarian class walked back, refocused on European folkloric touchstones such as the Ulster Cycle; all barbarian characters become Irish stereotypes.

AI-based DM service trained exclusively on work of Ed Greenwood launched; withdrawn a week later citing "guiderail issues".

Expanded discussion of navigating player expectations frames "not showing up at all" as a valid playstyle.

Dragon-blooded sorcerer subclass revised to state that one of the character's ancestors was "very good friends" with a dragon.

drunkenlemur

Didn't that last one actually get implemented into canon?

prokopetz

Hasbro has indeed spent the last several years pushing back against dragonfucking jokes so hard that they've gone as far as to revise some of the setting lore to imply that dragons don't even fuck each other, but they haven't yet had the guts to pull the trigger on taking the option of literal dragon ancestry off the table for sorcerers.

(The 5.5E writeup for dragon-blooded sorcerers does list "making a bargain" with a dragon above the actual-ancestry option, though, which is funny as hell. Yeah, I'll bet it was a mutually beneficial exchange!)

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greekceltic

my cat bit me with a mouthful of water once

dogpuppy

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

wordfather

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

wordfather

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

wordfather

welcome to the icelandic apple selection. what color will you have

wordfather

okay so APPEARANTLY this is just an iceland thing? i looked it up and we dont grow apples here commercially. we get them imported and there's such few options that the stores rarely bother to name them. thats why, culturally, we just call them by colors.

i feel like we all learned something today. i learned that im hungry for apples with names and you learned that iceland is 3 apples tall. the world continues to surprise and enlighten

snommelp

Petition to send Iceland a few crates of honeycrisps.

dogpuppy

He is my princess diana

mrspizzle

I’m actually fucking dying

uoa

do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them

rubensmuse

the last time i got sloppy with this @tinynaught Columbo’d me

flatluigi

this post is classic tumblr in a lot of ways but the one I appreciate the most is that the second post happened eleven years after the first one. one of these days I’m going to see a reply to a post by someone younger than the post itself and we’re all just going to have to deal with it

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fluffyplushiesworld

Happy Pride Month Tumblr ✨

rebellum

Kinda wild how the concept of emotional labour changed from

"people have to hide their emotions to perform specific types of labour where their apparent emotions influence another person's. Eg. Flight attendants have to be cheerful all the time, so that passengers feel welcome and safe. This suppression and masking of emotion can cause a sense of disconnect within the individual where they dont know what their true feelings are. This is part of the Marxist idea of alienation from labour and from the self."

To

"If you ask me to care about you or listen to your problems, youre being toxic."

targetedknowledge

kvotheunkvothe

a dissatisfied customer

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

creatures-in-posts

this creature is you

snommelp

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lakemojave

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

lakemojave

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

wheelie-sick

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

wheelie-sick

I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?

and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.

headspace-hotel

cops r Some Guy with a Gun

do we want Some Guy with a Gun in this situation? answer is usually "NO"

uncivilliberties

This is legitimately useful reframing. A while ago I started replacing the word "cop" in my vocabulary with "a man with a gun." It really puts things into perspective.

This homeless person is making me uncomfortable. Should I call [a man with a gun]?

My neighbor is having a loud party. Should I get [a man with a gun] involved?

There are some teenagers skateboarding. Do you think [a man with a gun] would get rid of them for me?

It makes it very clear what you're saying. I can call a man with a gun to threaten or hurt someone mildly inconveniencing me. You're not calling the cops, you're calling A MAN WITH A GUN into a situation that does not warrant a firearm handled by a volatile lunatic who will not be held accountable for his actions.

headspace-hotel

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