Sain's Arts

Not gonna say it again

I am once again posting my ever-growing collection of towns that sound like PG Wodehouse characters:

Reminds me of the time this guy (masc4masc dudebro 5 in 1 shampoo type) asked me (bussyboy icedcoffee bad driver bttm) on a date to see "Cocaine Bear" so I was like sure why not every bottom needs a top and I was newly single and ready to GAPE after the movie so I was being a good boywife to signal u know? Make sure he knew what I was after. I looked good in my little cargo shorts and Uniqlo cross shoulder bag, can you blame me for wanting to shine? I starved myself all day besides my Venti iced Macchiatto. Did a coffee Enema. Half way through the film im already dialating so we get into his old F150 and once i saw what he drove I was like oh im gonna be a victim of his weapon of ass destruction 4 sure. We get to his house. Messy. No permanent furniture. PS4 on the corner on the floor. Smells like old socks and cheap body spray. Oh!!! the Coque is gonna be good. We go into his room and it's dark but I can see he pulls down his pants to show me some old ass Hanes boxers. At this point my Nair hair removal addicted and bleached hole is fully dialated. He says hold on let me turn on the light to get condoms so he turns on the light. Charli XCX poster on the wall. He says hes gonna play some music. "Padam Padam" starts playing. Trahs bin, full of empty Starbucks - the clear cup!!!! Get this, he had a white iphone........I ended up having to top him. I guess Paris Hilton was right the stars really are blind huh? This is why bottoms deserve our stories told. Bottom stories matter. They do.

a twitter thread that actually killed me