i hope you live. i hope we both live

dont min🟨d me im just taking my yellow tile for a walk. come on boy you're falling behind

genuinely sickening to think about how men pop up out of holes in the ground and you have to swing a mallet and hit them over the head to get them to stop

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

how far into his term as mayor does zohran get the big top hat and monocle. i kind of thought he’d have them by now

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.