Safety Patrol

i'll just say what we were all thinking. the paris catacombs are lowkey performative as hell

The zipper merge requires a level of cooperation and goodwill that the citizens of this great country have never once displayed

lowkey i just killed all innocents

notice how no one died

Im craving... $000,000

Check your Venmo :)🤭

STOPPP YOU DIDNT

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

cmon man, think like a , think like a chuuud, act like a woke *trying to corral a medium sized brown mammal into the corner*

the order of rodentia sounds like a circle of knights from ages past but you may be surprised to learn these noble warriors are still fighting their holy battles to this day

guess my favorite rene descartes quote

who give a shit.

my great x6 grandaddy got shot with a crossbow but the pewter pilgrim badge depicting saint cuthbert with his bare ass out & farting that he kept in his gambeson pocket saved him

If you give a bat a cigarette

I'm starting to think it's not the beer that makes you drunk, but rather the can itself

ive been informed that the breaking wheel, gibbet, etc are actually 'solar punk', and possibly even Leftist

just found a cross of miquella in a candy store. read "I abandon here my dollars five"