Safety Patrol

goodnight everyone. dream about my magnificent beetle trick

Fright (x1) has entered your inventory

A busted-up, mangled sprout... This is the calling card of the sprout killer.

I sit backwards on the toilet to pee because it's like peeing standing up sitting down

What about shitting

laying down

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

Sometimes my dad likes to put little pills in my food. And in those pills is more of the food.

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

*werner herzog voice* I hold no affection for this Spyro the Dragon character. I find nothing charming or amusing, nor am I captivated by his movements