I do not choose to be charmed;

"Copy. Moon joy."

"I have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working."

"Houston, if you could give me about 20 new superlatives in the mission summary for tomorrow that will help out my vocabulary a little bit, that would be great. Thank you."

“If you’ve ever seen the top of the spotlight of the top of the Luxor at night in Vegas, this looks like what it wants to be when it grows up.”

"To all of you down there on Earth... we love you, from the moon. See you on the other side."

"We just went sci fi.

"It is so great to see Earth again. To Asia, Africa, and Oceania: we are looking back at you. We hear you can look up and see the moon right now. We see you too."

"We will always choose Earth. We will always choose each other."

“It’s a bright spot on the moon, and we would like to call it Carroll.” (The name of Commander Reid Wiseman's late wife)

"Amaze amaze amaze."

"I said that we do not leave Earth, but we choose it. And that is true."

"Christina has been sleeping head down in the middle of the vehicle, kind of like a bat"

"It's really fun to be floatin' around, it just makes me feel like a little kid."

"Trust us, you look amazing, you look beautiful."

"'Homo Sapiens' is all of us, no matter where you're from or what you look like. We're all one people."

"We're going to power cycle the toilet from the ground."

"I'm proud to call myself the Space Plumber."

"We were all eagerly awaiting the chorus." (After Mission Control cut off Pink Pony Club early when waking up the crew)

"Copy heart. Copy bracelet." (In response to Wiseman giving his daughters heart hands and showing them the bracelets they made him that he was wearing)

“Welcome back. We are still here. They are in space.”

"Copy. Bubble wrap nominal."

"We have rediscovered the chocolate snacks."

“The truth is, the moon really is its own body in the universe. It's not just a poster in the sky that goes by, it is a real place."

“We will build ships. We will visit again. We will construct science outposts. We will drive rovers, we will do radio astronomy, we will found companies.”

"I've seen a lot of new perspectives, but my perspective has not changed because I launched with the perspective that there is enough for all." (After being asked if they had a new view on humankind.)

7 p.m. is not late

your day is not over at 7 p.m.

you are allowed to leave your house after it gets dark

park ranger who has seen people spread bacon grease on their campsite in the hopes of seeing a bear

British person who is appalled that North American national parks kill people

people who lure bison calves away from their mothers to photograph them

a lot of it involves bison

a LOT of it involves people trying to swim in the yellowstone thermal vents

woman who tried to retrieve her dropped cell phone from a pit toilet and FELL IN

Lots of people reminding me that caves are a problem too. I know, I just try to forget that caves exist because I hate them.

Guys who tried to hike the entire length of Florida in flip flops

Someone who approached a bear cub because they thought it was a raccoon

Someone who works at an unspecified national monument and says dead bodies keep turning up at the picnic area (Hello???)

A few Alaskans laughing at everyone

Scottish person who wishes their parks were as effective at killing tourists as ours are

A few NPS staffmembers saying the NPS is far, far too incompetent to wage any sort of large scale conspiracy about disappearances

Several death threats against David Paulides

People accusing me of being Bigfoot (I plead the fifth)

A group who got on a raft in a river assuming it would loop back around... like at a waterpark

Person recalling a time they saw a hiker "saved by monkeys" but did not elaborate on that