He is lying when he says things the fandom doesn’t like but he is telling the truth when it’s suits shipping agendas people are not slick
He doesn’t fit the model minority stereotype of an Asian man as sexless, genderless, quiet, and submissive. In reality, he is confident, muscular, extroverted, sex-positive, but also sensitive smart, and well-read. That combination is too contradictory for these people to grasp.
They don’t understand that you can be multifaceted. He is allowed to be a hunk who is extroverted, reads books, watches movies, and quotes interviews from 10 years ago. He is a smart person, but in their minds, he cannot be smart and hot. He cannot be outgoing and have emotional depth. It breaks their brain that an Asian man can be multifaceted and have a personality.
So they go to the other extreme. Stereotype his as a hypersexual aggressive man of colour who must be tamed and protect the white propel around him from… That’s why they read every interaction as flirting like he is cunning and like he has ulterior motives. (Also very anti Asian stereotype)
I don’t know where I’m going with this, but you get the gist.
It makes them uncomfortable that he doesn’t fit into a box. It unsettles them, especially because he doesn’t want to conform to what the fans or the masses on the internet tell him to be: quieter, more in the background, more reserved. They don’t hear the microaggressive tones of that. And anything that doesn’t confirm to those stereotypes must be a fake performance. I’m talking in circles but yeah… 
Not talking in circles at all, friend! I think you said it clearly and perfectly and I agree! I think early on people were so shocked by hudson's personality when promo videos started coming out because of pre-existing expectations of asian men both physically and in regard to behavior. Like do you remember people swearing up and down that he had to be an inch shorter than connor?? So odd.
Then they flipped, like you said, to try and paint him as either someone who was performing edginess and masculinity for attention/ to hide his relationship wit C (ulterior motive stereotype) or was wild and needed to be leashed by the white people around him (tribalist stereotype). Then when it turns out that he's actually an avid reader and cinephile while also being a bit of a jock and party boy, people really started hating because he didn't fit any boxes. He can't play the roll of the submissive pet nor the brute in the mind of shippers and that throws them off. Add the fact they get very little from the other half of the ship so it would make H the standout personality which, again, doesn't fit their expectations. The reality is, he's a multifaceted person, not a archetypical character on a tv show and that's something people really can't wrap their heads around because they tend to see poc as stereotypes or antithesis to stereotypes ("you're one of the good ones/not like other xyz") when people are much more complex than that.
