that's showbiz, baby! @captain-cargoshorts - Tumblr Blog

Books are so cool because there are no fucking ads in them

There are no fucking ads in them NOW.

I've been buying books for decades, and I remember when the plague of slick, stiff paper ads inserted in the middle of paperbacks fell upon the book buying public. Usually cigarette ads, as I recall, probably because that was after cigarette ads were forbidden on television and radio. They were annoying as hell because they tended to make the book open to that point by default--and you couldn't cleanly pull them out, either.

Fortunately, this plague on book buyers was fairly temporary, probably because it wasn't a good investment for the advertisers. A given book's ad can only reliably be expected to be read by ONE reader, and there was no way of tracking who it was, whether it influenced their buying habits, etc.

And good riddance.

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chaumas-deactivated20240115

people who can sleep spooning each other through the night don’t know how good they have it

nohoperadio

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

charl0ttan

you can jerk off and you can fuck off. you can tell a jerkoff to fuck off. you can jerk off a jerkoff. you can fuck off with a jerkoff. you can fuck with a jerk but you cant jerk with a fuck. you can fuck up but you cant jerk up. a jerk aint worth a fuck but a fuck is worth more than a jerk. in theory

#huh #these are all different sentences

wifegideonnav

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

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pangur-and-grim

a fruit like a softened scythe shot its flavour into my mouth

pangur-and-grim

when I die. how about that

pangur-and-grim

kineticpenguin

I think that one of the most frustrating things about algospeak, after the "compliance in advance" self-censorship, is that there is no actual evidence-based justification for it. Everyone who uses it does so because they heard from a guy who heard from a guy that The Algorithm will bury their content if they don't use cutesy euphemisms.

sentimentalslut

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

sentimentalslut

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

sentimentalslut

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

sentimentalslut

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

voidpostings1

#cat #cats

homunculus-argument

Goths aren't "true to seed" in the sense that the biological offspring of two goths do not necessarily grow up to be goth, though inheriting the inclination for it from both parents increases the odds significantly. That is not how goths naturally reproduce.

The process is actually quite sophisticated, and requires the presence of a full-grown goth to trigger it. A pupal-stage proto-goth, at this point completely indistinguishable from any other small human child, only needs to encounter a mature specimen once - and while the initial imprinting that ensues will only take seconds, the incubation period often takes more than a decade, even several.

The first visible step of the transformation is triggered when the dormant goth suddenly gains awareness that they have free will and can do whatever they want with their appearance. While the progress may be gradual, or seem like the transformation happened all at once overnight, the initial seed was planted years ago. And now, in full bloom, a fully-fledged mature adult goth may finally be happy.

And that's why it's important to sometimes look goth as fuck in the grocery store. You might be seen by small child who had previously hoped to die before adulthood because everything they've heard about becoming a grownup is just pure misery, who will then consequently think to themselves "actually nevermind, that's what I want to be when I grow up."

marlynnofmany

One of the many benefits of being weird in public is possibly saving -- and definitely improving -- a stranger's life without ever knowing.

cipheramnesia

This is also one of the ways people become transgender.

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raccoonmilf

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

raccoonmilf

Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????

sharkgalaxy

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already

unadulteratedhideouttrash

infectiouspiss

everyone on the dash is celebrating that one usa politician dying but not ann widdicombe who was so deeply evil that she converted to catholicism because the protestant church was too nice to women for her liking

#be the change you want to see in the world #if there's not enough posts about it then you gotta make them

vampirefabio

can’t believe they murdered lindsey graham to get the heat off of totally still alive mitch mcconnell.

threeninesfine

Lindsey "Ladybug" Graham is dead! Rest in piss!

threeninesfine

This is what I woke up to this morning lmao

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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raraeavesmoriendi

NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!

#🦀🦀🦀

important-cat-pics

#cat #cats

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