Trash Gnomes Anonymous

Stop, drop, and roll also works when you are wet. It sort of spreads the water over the floor

Reddit lady in the “emotional support for the other woman” subforum says that she’s heartbroken because the coworker and married man she loves blocked her on everything and reported her to HR for sexual harassment after she DM’d him lewds on Instagram, which makes no sense to her given the intensity of their emotional affair (he complimented her coffee cup and would make small talk during meetings)

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

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For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then

ive recently been able to get over my sensory issues regarding moisturizer by literally just saying "im going snail mode"

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

you can stay indoors all day when the sun is out, and sometimes it's nice like a cool draught from a tranquil spring, but watch out because if you stay indoors for two days in a row while the sun is out you start doing odd gothic literature things, stalking the halls and passages and muttering to yourself and parting the blinds to gaze down at your neighbours with a haunted look before turning away to contemplate your mannequins #yourmannequins. three days and you're basically fucked. you have to throw a towel over your head to scurry as far as the store for milk and people jeer at you like frankenstein's monster.

Livin la penis smoka

yay! bunnies snacktime! 🥕🩷🐇