its your boy

taking the porn off tumblr just made us all hornier. it used to be that we’d only sexualize basic things, like human bodies. but now?? you wouldn’t believe the things my mutuals are getting off to

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

i’m pretty calm and understanding but if i say “please don’t touch me” and you proceed to purposefully touch me, natural instinct will kick in and the large raptor which operates this machine will bite your fucking hand off

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

do most people actually have a thing in their brain that tells them to drink water before their mouth goes dry and they have a headache. is that real. i have been told that headache is not supposed to be the primary sign of being thirsty but that sounds fake to me.

never use this color on a wall you're going to be living with for a while, it looks okay at first but holy shit man

I just love love love that there’s a guy wandering about Dungeon Meshi going, ‘but what are the socioeconomic and geopolitical consequences of this fantasy quest adventure, both while it’s ongoing and after its inevitable completion?! The skillset required to find and kill a Mad Mage is different than that required to responsibly, benevolently and effectively rule a kingdom. I personally must either find a good candidate, somehow make one, or, most likely, take on the whole Mageslayer/King role myself.” Except he doesn’t have the first skillset, and his whole party keeps dying while these highly competent chucklefucks wander past, kill and eat the monster, and save their bodies for the nth time. Kabru would demand to know if Aragorn is familiar with Gondorin tax law. His isekai energy is off the charts, because this is all exactly what I would do if dropped into a fantasy quest adventure, right down to repeatedly dying due to not actually being suited to the genre conventions.

Muse, sing to me of this slippery slick

It has come to my attention that slick means something different to me than it does to the general public

Op, pray tell what does slick mean to you

A shrewd untrustworthy person :( like it says on the Miriam Webster:(