So girly it hurts

you really could be DEPRESSED for MONTHS and the only thing people will notice about you is how easily you get irritated

when youre inadvertently 1% too nice to a straight guy you can usually pinpoint the exact moment where he decides you must be acting that way because you want to fuck down on him crazy style and it is at this point that one would be well advised to have a cyanide capsule under a false tooth or an equivalent fast acting response

stop tagging this saying shit like “me and jakey!!! 🥺”

God forbid women do anything

elizabeth holmes has been spotted soaking lady fingers in a clear colorless liquid. sources close to the entrepreneur claim she is working to "revolutionize tiramisu" by using just a few drops of coffee diluted in water. early testers described the result as tasting "like shit." undeterred, holmes insists that a breakthrough is imminent. her company, theramisu, is currently valued at $150.

Put a hat on it and ask it to bust myths.

if i stop posting the saw trap turns back on

i think you guys need to go back to consuming art for the art’s sake rather than for the sake of the review you’re going to post on the internet later

indoor pronouns and outdoor pronouns

British guys when they cum probably: ive came ive bloody came

eating rice, there's definitely an upper limit to how much you can eat, but thinking about it in abstract? when filling a plate? it's hard to conceive of it. that's what makes it so dangerous

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn