Brah? Brah.

girl you would flourish under my dark tutelage

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

There was an obsession with fucking

hold on the japanese want what

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

OP you just gave me the biggest heart attack of my career, FUCK.

There is a parallel universe where Tumblr is actually a great functioning site

its exactly as shitty but every other social media site is worse by comparison

OHMYGOD IT’S ATTACKING THE STATUE OF LIBERTY SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING

This is a good joke. This is such a solid, quality joke.

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

I swear to god that green day has had this exact same "scandal" like five times now.

Once again learning that the band famous for multiple songs in which they say some variation of "we're faggots and we hate america" are in fact faggots who hate america. Very disappointed.

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

Completely true-to-life from my interactions with toddlers

Yes I am, those fuckers were literally bird-brained.

Lol I think about this daily …some shit could hit any second.