Ratboy Dipshit @rockyrodent - Tumblr Blog

A series of greatest hits from possibly one of my favorite parody accounts on anything ever.

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men-iss-vess-ull-deactivated202

when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to

horribly-precise-transcriptions

audio: [so‿ɡ̊o ˈbæʔ t̯ʊ̆‿ðᵊ ˌǁ͜klə̃ː˧˨ə́b̚]

ghostlygooberart

my contribution to the sinkdog web zine!! i had so much fun making sinkdog into a doll

please go check out the site, everyone's pieces are so wonderful!! so many fantastic sinkdogs

qqchurch

the Ice War on Europa...

qqchurch

deep-state-partisan

somestrangeangels

luce-er-deactivated20260718

my breakfast sandwich just blasted thick ropes onto my keyboard fuck my life. She might as well be smoking a cigarette right now look at this

weirdgirlass

I barely even bit her and she came all over the place. Whore.

i-like-forcefem

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oh-frederik-what-a-day-its-been

corantus

locked the fuck in get my money up

skoomabong

bunniope

in charcuterie city, you'll always be cheesed to meet your friends

iamoutofideas

I hate charcuterie city I want to go somewhere else

bunniope

this is all that's left.

iamoutofideas

this is all that's left.

bisexual-engineer-girl

"I need to remove dirt from a place with a large industrial machine"

Hitachi:

"That's cool, but i'm also really horny, you got anything for that?

Hitachi:

alexandriaocasiocortez

Being a flop changed my life. The world is not my oyster, I am glowing. I walked into a pole this morning. There's very little I wouldn't do for $1,000

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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peach-foxgloves

No one ever tell me anything bad about the person who runs this account.

the person who runs this account, Katie Gouldin, is an evolutionary biologist who has an EXCELLENT podcast called Creature Feature which compares and contrasts the weird behaviors of man and beast! she is super cute and funny too!

lavender-lily

oh thank GOD

andypantsx3

just want to add i love how much she hates elon

yeahokayillreblogthat

yeah okay ill reblog that

baddywronglegs

She is also credited by the Audubon society with coining the word “birb”

madlori

Also source for probably the best reaction image in history:

what-even-is-thiss

I like the idea in fantasy that humans are better at maintaining things long term because they set up societies or professions to do it whereas dwarves and elves and stuff are like “just get bob to do it he’s got a good few hundred years left” and then bob doesn’t teach anyone else how to do it

what-even-is-thiss

Elf: How have you kept this castle maintained for a thousand years if your lives are so short?

Human: We just train new people how to do it?

Elf: *gears visibly turning in their head*

Human: Are you alright?

Elf: I just realized that we didn’t have to let that whole city fall to ruin just because my grandfather died.

Human: What?

what-even-is-thiss

Human: Wait that’s why there’s ruins of elven cities even though you live for so long? You just keep not asking people how to do things? How do you learn anything?

Elf: There’s a lot of “you’ve got time to figure it out on your own” attitudes floating around in our society that I’m starting to question somewhat.

unassimilatedsoul

Elf: That sword, where did you get it?

Human: My cousin made it.

Elf: Impossible! Those metalworking techniques were lost a hundred years ago!

Human: What do you mean lost? My great-grandmother learned to make these swords from an elven smith, then taught it to her kids.

Elf: That's ridiculous. No elf would give such secrets to a human.

Human: They didn't. Meemaw delivered the metal to the forge, and no one kicked her out when she stayed and watched. She always said they barely acknowledged her even when doing business with her, like she wasn't worth noticing.

Elf: Come to think of it, my great-uncle always was rather single-minded when he started working.

Human: So he wasn't ignoring her, he just forgot she was there?

Elf: Oh, he was definitely ignoring her, too. He was super racist.

notdeezy

Today is the day to post this

log6

oh that was great. sorry I got cum all over you, here's the shittiest towel you've ever seen in your life.

log6

THE TAGS ON THIS ARE SO DARK

toxicfaggette

fella-lovin-fella

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

rcktpwr

i teleport behind you like in the animes but we’re ass to ass

rcktpwr

you feel a sudden, threatening pressure against your ass…..

libraford

Googled something about quick hydration and it suggested big jug of water, couple tbsp pickle juice, dash of lime juice.

Its surprisingly tasty????

libraford

Pleased to report that after a day of this i am not longer craving caper brine and my mouth is not dry as usual. There's some good suggestions in the notes too that I want to try.

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

libraford

I have been reminded of:

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

libraford

I have now been informed of

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

libraford

"Wow, I wonder why this post was popular this week."

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

"... ah."

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