oh, they love you
oh, you can feel how they love you
coated and warm, but that’s all they can do
words only get through if they’re sharp
[spoilers up to episode 17]
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@rexthekid
oh, they love you
oh, you can feel how they love you
coated and warm, but that’s all they can do
words only get through if they’re sharp
[spoilers up to episode 17]

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Grace being sappy with Rocky is such a joy
i can’t allow myself to think too much about sensory differences on the erid road trip or i throw up and die. grace can look out at the stars any time he wants. if he wants to fuck around with his telescope, grace can see erid and grace can see earth. grace has a sense of place. for rocky, however, the universe is four rooms wide and there are two people in it
in a world where grace eventually goes back to earth when erid is ready to make full contact. he's officially an eridian and earth dual citizen and is a physically very old man. it's also been a lot of earth years since he was here, especially due to time dilation. he comes off the eridian lander in a hoverchair accompanied by rocky in his little xenonite suit and is like wow, fresh air. rocky isn't it so beautiful here. rocky this is the ground i used to walk on. rocky this is the food i used to eat. rocky these are the people you helped me save. amaze amaze amaze.
and his speech has taken on eridian habits from years of only really communicating in eridian: he drops and raises octaves to show emotion, he's speaks melodically and with a rythmn that pings as music when you first hear it. his creaky old man voice is that of somebody who has spent their whole life singing, somebody who speaks for a living, because he's both of those things. his syntax is strange and his sentences are structured oddly. he looks around at everything with the delight and wonder of somebody who thought he'd never see any of this again.
he watches a sunset. he watches the rain fall. he watches a spider spin a web. he watches a waterfall. he smells and tastes and feels and sees and hears all of the things he left behind. he misses his home on erid. he's never been happier to be anywhere in his life. it's strange. rocky, it's strange. this isn't home, anymore. but it's still part of me. rocky, it's strange.
there's a statue of him in every major city he visits. he stands in front of the school he used to teach at, which was named after a dead president when he was here. now it's called ryland grace memorial middle school. it was named for him as the sun got brighter and the earth mourned his sacrifice yet again, but praised him for saving them. the lab he used to teach in, on the days he got to lead practical experiments, is named after rocky. rocky, it's for you! they love you, too! rocky, this sign is for you, it says your name!
eva stratt is an old woman, now. she was pardoned, in the end, in the wave of relief that followed the beatles' arrival with the taumeba. she's lived out the rest of her life quietly, ambition tamped down in the wake of it all. she's still sharp. harsh. she greets grace with an, "I told you so," but even after so many years, grace can see that she's glad to see him. glad he survived. glad he doesn't seem angry with her.
and it's not that grace has forgive her. he explains this to her over a cup of strong, black coffee. rocky explores the forest to give them time to speak. it's not that he forgives her. what she did, the decision she made for him, it wasn't right. it wasn't good. it saved the world, yes, but it wasn't fair. but. but, he says. i have a good life. i have friends. i have a classroom. i know now that you were wrong about me, back then. i am not a coward, and i am not selfish. i was afraid. i was terrified. i was lost. and now i am none of those things. i do not forgive you, but i am not angry with you, either. it is what it is. rocky and i, we saved two worlds. i can live with that, even if i don't forgive you. and eva stratt nods and understands. and they finish their coffee.
a handful of grace's students, the last class he taught before being wrapped up in the end of the world, they ask to see him. not all of them. some of them didn't make it through the disasters that came with the years long dimming. some of them never really believed that grace was the one who saved the world, falling into the rhetoric of those who say the whole thing was a hoax, and the weather patterns fixing themselves is just proof of it. but the ones who do come are surprised when grace remembers each of their names. remembers where they sat in his classroom, and the jokes they thought were funny and the jokes they thought were lame. they talk to him and he remembers throwing them beanbags in the end of the world and trying to make them laugh. when grace laughs at something rocky sings into the world, he's laughing through more than a few tears. he tells his students, the kids he saved the world for, that they've just been called leaky blobs by the other savior of the world.
when his students leave, grace sits in the setting sun, strong and warm, and looks out over the ocean. rocky, isn't it beautiful? rocky, don't you see? we made this possible, rocky. we saved them. we saved this. rocky, we did it.
and for maybe the first time since it all started, grace believes it. rocky, we did it. we did it. we saved them. we did it.
sound…wave…

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Re: Rocky staying at Tau Ceti for 40+ years:
I do take some issue with the reading that he heroically CHOSE to stay there when he could have gone back. Because going back would be the most logical and beneficial decision to make, for both him and for his species (he could report back on the issues with time and distance behaving strangely, warn the eridian space agencies about the mysterious sickness, confirm that there was a Petrova line at Tau Ceti ect), and we know Weir is big on unemotional logic and that rocky is very very smart. I think its more likely that he didnt have the navigational skills to find his way back without the crew members who specialised in navigation, and was worried that if he tried he would get lost in space and any subsequent rescue mission would then gain nothing from him.
I like the idea of him agonising for decades over whether he should try and find his way back or wait to be rescued.... the emotional, scared part of him grappling with the logical part, in a constant cycle of "I should try to go back.... it's worth a try right? anything to make it home and finally be safe" vs "no, if I try and find my way home, with no space navigation knowledge, with no understanding of why distance distorted on the way here, I will get lost in space forever, and all the information I've gathered will be lost and I will be useless to Erid and everyone will have died for nothing". Trapped in endless isolation for decades by his own dedication to his planet and refusal to give up. The question of whether to stay or go constantly dredged back up and desperately rexamined and always returning the same answer, but never laid to rest, slowly driving him out of his mind.
#THISSS he was in an endless torment nexus. and you could argue he chose it the same way grace chose it which is NOT AT ALL.#of course he chose to go on that mission knowing something could (and likely would. with space travel being a new invention) go wrong.#but as you say. i have a hard time believing he would choose 46yrs in the torture dimension if the return journey werent seriously#contraindicated by the facts.#and i do think the choice to stay can and likely would be influenced by multiple factors.#like. a) navigational issues. b) his crewmates deaths - does he carry that “disease”? can he return or would he infect the rest of the pop.?#c) he probably has his hands full with maintenance/other mechanical upkeep. seeing as the ship was likely constructed in a rush.#those issues are likely to get worse with time. hes just one eridian on a ship built for two dozen. can he be expected to make that journey#and carry out all the associated tasks by himself? he has to sleep. he cant be everywhere at once. eridian tech is all analog - one must#assume there would be little to no automation. and rocky has to sleep at some point. whos gonna take the wheel?#d) shame and guilt. obviously. even if he could figure out the logistics. whats he going to tell them? everyone will look to him for answers#and he will have NONE. just 22 corpses.#EDIT: though obv he does go back by himself at least partway before the taumoeba leak. so the navigational issues (as solved by grace) were#the main issue. but i do like to believe everything else compounded the issue.
nothing here to run from
Tried bleach painting for the first time
is this room for garbage? eughhh…
"You have no immediate family. You don't even have a dog" SHE WAS PROJECTING PEOPLE
SHE WAS PROJECTING
SHE WAS TRYING TO JUSTIFY BOTH THEIR SACRIFICES
IT'S ABOUT HIM BUT ALSO ABOUT HERSELF
SHE WAS PROJECTINGGGGGGGG

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when grace is in his starvation era, do you think he thinks about the ramen blip-a like how when you're broke you think about that $5 you spent frivolously 16 years ago?
i coloured it :))
It was nice not having to cover them in blood and soot this time
Grace and Rocky make me sick to my stomach what if we were friends who met under impossible circumstances. What if we became friends when our worlds are ending. What if we found love and companionship while facing mass extinction. What if our friendship saved two planets. What if our friendship meant sacrificing ourselves for each other. What if your best friend who understands you the most is a being from a planet lightyears away from your own. What if being friends saved you both and both your worlds.
I'm gonna throw up
will forever be so normal about grace telling stratt that the party is weird and stratt immediately going "okay so im going to sing at you now. and i will make direct eye contact with you in the crowd. then i will decide im done halfway through the song and leave without a word." and it actually working to make grace look more happy
what is wrong with them

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That deleted scene just confirms to me that Rocky is disabled. You know the one, where they're discussing life on Adrian and he waves those fingers around, which are
Much longer than anywhere else on his body,
Don't seem to really have a useful palm, and
He really doesn't use much; he seems to prefer that leg for walking.
I've been told that the pebbles aren't seen with a leg like Rocky's and we don't see other Eridians so I am taking this as canon also because it explains one book discrepancy.
See, in the book, it's said that Eridians don't really have a concept of 'facing' certain directions because of their five arms, no eyes, and general symmetry. Rocky does *not* do this, I assumed until now it was purely to make him more emotive, more recognisable to us as a living thing instead of a pile of rocks.
However! Rocky would always want to be working with his hands that are more typical of other Eridians as that's the society he's used to living in and they're probably better for precision engineering work like he does! So he probably prefers to stand with those two hands at the front to work with and the other three, including that leg, to stand on for self-support.
OH ALSO: the fact he uses it for miming in that scene is probably cause to him they resemble Grace's fingers more. So imagine living with really long digits on one hand and then discovering a species where this is their norm. Probably in Rocky's eyes explains how Grace is so clumsy.
That plus the respect he's shown as a speaking device user (Grace letting him pick his voice, iirc never having the fact he speaks through a computer Grace can override used against him even when he's annoying) is just. I love it.
I'll be doing more research soon into exploring Rocky's limb difference, mostly from reading posts from other people who are disabled and/or have limb differences themselves. Taking recs for resources!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm