me when im #quirky

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

trying to write book grace, and the way I'm approaching him is that he's capable of feeling extremely sympathetic towards stratt on the rare occasion where she drops her professional façade and shows vulnerability around him (which seems to be more often than anyone else on the project, if we take the coma gene decision as an example). he's a fundamentally good guy at heart and he wants to help. the problem is that socio-academic death can do a number on a guy's ego, so he is mentally and emotionally hardwired towards self-preservation and building up elaborate narratives to protect himself. man loves his narratives #hisnarratives. and unfortunately the one he built for stratt cannot include weakness or remorse or her needing to rely on him in any way. which can make him flip flop between how he treats her very fast because seeing her in pain makes him instinctively go both "here, how can i help" and "huh. that's not right. What's wrong with you" at the same time. infuriating dynamic to be on the other end of, alas.

oh. grace has never known an untraumatized rocky. he's never known a rocky from before he was the sole survivor of erid's first and only space mission. he's never known a rocky from before he had to live through nearly half a century of utter solitude, nearly half a century of not being watched while he slept, nearly half a century of wallowing in his perceived failure. he's never known the rocky that was adrian's mate. the rocky that was chosen to be the engineer of the blip-a. the rocky that was. and he never will. that rocky no longer exists. oh.