the older I get, the more Kaidan Alenko's line "I'm thirty-two, Shepard. you don't serve as long as I have without coming to terms with yourself." becomes the hottest line a male love interest in a video game has ever said.

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@renascensory
the older I get, the more Kaidan Alenko's line "I'm thirty-two, Shepard. you don't serve as long as I have without coming to terms with yourself." becomes the hottest line a male love interest in a video game has ever said.

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WANTED: The Last of Us, but in Mass Effect, starring these two.
some of the best writing advice I’ve ever received: always put the punch line at the end of the sentence.
it doesn’t have to be a “punch line” as in the end of a joke. It could be the part that punches you in the gut. The most exciting, juicy, shocking info goes at the end of the sentence. Two different examples that show the difference it makes:
doing it wrong:
She saw her brother’s dead body when she caught the smell of something rotting, thought it was coming from the fridge, and followed it into the kitchen.
doing it right:
Catching the smell of something rotten wafting from the kitchen—probably from the fridge, she thought—she followed the smell into the kitchen, and saw her brother’s dead body.
Periods are where you stop to process the sentence. Put the dead body at the start of the sentence and by the time you reach the end of the sentence, you’ve piled a whole kitchen and a weird fridge smell on top of it, and THEN you have to process the body, and it’s buried so much it barely has an impact. Put the dead body at the end, and it’s like an emotional exclamation point. Everything’s normal and then BAM, her brother’s dead.
This rule doesn’t just apply to sentences: structuring lists or paragraphs like this, by putting the important info at the end, increases their punch too. It’s why in tropes like Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking or Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick, the odd item out comes at the end of the list.
Subverting this rule can also be used to manipulate reader’s emotional reactions or tell them how shocking they SHOULD find a piece of information in the context of a story. For example, a more conventional sentence that follows this rule:
She opened the pantry door, looking for a jar of grape jelly, but the view of the shelves was blocked by a ghost.
Oh! There’s a ghost! That’s shocking! Probably the character in our sentence doesn’t even care about the jelly anymore because the spirit of a dead person has suddenly appeared inside her pantry, and that’s obviously a much higher priority. But, subvert the rule:
She opened the pantry door, found a ghost blocking her view of the shelves, and couldn’t see past it to where the grape jelly was supposed to be.
Because the ghost is in the middle of the sentence, it’s presented like it’s a mere shelf-blocking pest, and thus less important than the REAL goal of this sentence: the grape jelly. The ghost is diminished, and now you get the impression that the character is probably not too surprised by ghosts in her pantry. Maybe it lives there. Maybe she sees a dozen ghosts a day. In any case, it’s not a big deal. Even though both sentences convey the exact same information, they set up the reader to regard the presence of ghosts very differently in this story.
I. I need all the alignment chart memes. All. All of them. My hands are shaking. Please.
AIGHT YALL RB THIS POST WITH YOUR ALIGNMENT CHART BLANKS FOR THIS ANON
I’LL GO FIRST
Saving this for later para purposes
You people are saints
2021 predictions
january: footage of trump being removed from the white house
february: valentines day commercials of people wearing masks during sex
march: popular hazbin hotel artist starts a gofundme for surgery, ppl debate if they deserve money or not
april: new meme called “boinkers”
may: right wing tries to make “confederate memorial day” a national holiday
june: new nintendo mobile game and everyone obsesses with it for two weeks before it gets forgotten
july: popular tumblr user gets called out for visiting family/friends on 4th of july, following week they’re outed as an “osomatsu-san” incest shipper
august: ~T̞̰̫̪͒́h̭̭͍̝͟e̋ ̛̰̏͋ ̯̯͈̳̦Kͭin̺̥̺ͬ́͡ͅ ̗̤̋̋ͩ̈͢ ͊̄Wa̍ͣͧ̒̏͏̪ȓ̌̒͆ͬ͏̲̩s͙̞̼̘̤͐͆́~
september: elon musk retweets the “boinkers” meme, effectively killing it. right wing turns it into a hate symbol
october: halloween comes back full force and companies go all out with advertising, but there’s a big covid spike and it gets cancelled again
november: meme about putting your dick in canned cranberry sauce, complete with discussion on whether it could help cure UTIs
december: my chemical romance releases a new album and it hits #1 on most charts
Please don’t speak this into existence, I don’t think I could handle it

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pls tell us what happened in the episode, i am so confused
very bad montage with horrible music. dean’s got a dog now (thankfully not the poodle he tried to fuck in season 9). they go somewhere. sam asks dean if he is sad that cas is in turbo hell. dean’s like ‘yeah shits sucks i guess’. he’s a little sad but that’s not going to stop him from going to the pie eating competition. they attend the pie eating competition. they do ok probably. but then.. uh-oh! a new group of villains is introduced! they’re.. juggalos? but also vampires which is scary. and.. they have knifes! but dean’s going to kill them with his shuriken. oh..! but another twist! one of the juggalos—who is not dressed like a juggalo—is a woman(!) that has been on the show before. dean kills her. but not with his shuriken. and maybe he should have killed her with his shuriken because—twist! dean gets impaled somehow. he dies. no, but for real this time. he’s dead. kill your gays 100% speedrun. sam burns his body. sam only makes one slice of toast for breakfast next morning. very sad. he grows old. you can tell his old because he is wearing a gray wig. he marries. have kids etc. meanwhile dean is in heaven. he reunites with his own true love—the impala. bobby is also there. he tells dean that cas has fixed up heaven for him. but cas isn’t allowed to be in heaven. probably because he’s gay. he never appears in the episode. dean goes for a car ride. carry on my wayward son plays on the radio. it sounds bad. sam puts on a whiter wig. this means he’s very old now. sam dies because he’s old. he goes to heaven. he meets dean. he reunites with the car. cas is never mentioned again. is he still in turbo hell? maybe. dean and sam looks into the camera homophobically. they mock you for still watching the show. the end.
@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?
my friend, if only you knew
It’s a very dangerous language to learn
Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.
The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.
#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact
Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.
“is the french language always on the verge” oh buddy, oh pal, i am so happy to break this news to you:
truly the language of love
it’s wild to me how there is literally ZERO correlation between what a piece of media is like and what its fanworks are like. 2014 captain america fans were out there writing poetry and full-on academic papers inside of their fics. sonic the hedgehog and my little pony fandoms are both famous for drawing fetishes you’ve never even heard of. les miserables fans spent most of their energy on college aus. there is literally no consistency or observable pattern and it’s incredible
#my theory is that fanworks reflect what people found missing in the canon#so like. sonic and mlp. obviously#les miz want les amis to be happy and alive and goofing around#and uh. mcu fans want the mcu to be well-written (via dicaeopolis)
#and uh. mcu fans want the mcu to be well-written
me to my therapist: ok so there's this tv show that's been on air for years about fighting demons and stuff. and there's a ship in it - no, like a relationship. like two people who fans want to date. no, the fans want these two characters to date EACH OTHER. yeah. so anyway, one of the characters confessed his love to the other this week in a new episode, which, first of all, surprised everyone, because the show is notorious for queerbaiting - no, look, I know, but we don't have time. let's just say that no one thought these two characters would ever actually - ok, so anyway, the angel confesses his love for the guy, and immediately is sent to super hell, and - no, I know this doesn't seem to have anything to do with Putin, I'm getting to that. see there's this thing called the omegav
I wonder how many of the people beginning & inflaming arguments about fanfiction versus “literature” on here with purposeful exaggerations and generalisations are even vaguely familiar with the increasingly large body of scholarship on fandom and fanfiction published in the fields of media and cultural studies, anthropology, &, yes, literary studies
arguments along the lines of “I don’t know how to explain to you that Dante’s Inferno is not the same as your 100k word slowburn enemies-to-lovers Destiel pornographic coffeeshop AU” are fascinating to me because (however much they may point to them, and however much the people voicing this kind of thing may have ones that they’re not expressing) they are in fact not arguments. they’re allusions to a hierarchy of literary value that the people making these kinds of statements feel that they can rest on in lieu of an argument. that is, we can refuse to proffer an actual definition or theory of literary “value,” or a socially situated theory of the production and reception of “literature” versus fanfiction, by just stating the nonequivalence of fanfiction and literature (the fact that “literature” is functionally different and superior) as a matter of “common sense.” this type of rhetoric reacts to the inflated claims of fanfiction and fan culture to literary merit and subversive potential, not with an assessment of what fanfiction is or does or the communities in which it’s created, but with a retreat to a previously delineated position.
& so of course the response to what’s interpreted as just more literary snobbery is a restatement of those inflated claims (“I’d rather read something fan-created with actual representation than a bunch of classics written by old white men and canonised by other old white men”). it goes [literary snobbery and denigration of fan culture] -> [fan culture is extremely sophisticated and radical, actually (what Gray et. al called the “Fandom is Beautiful” wave of research in the 80s)] -> [literary snobbery and denigration of fan culture] -> [fan culture is extremely sophisticated and radical, actually]. all the while the people on both sides of this pendulum get no closer to the kind of cooperation of narratological and sociological methods that would be required to articulate an actual theory of how and why fanfiction is created, its relationship to other kinds of media and writing, and what it does for the people who write and read it, because we’re all too busy arguing about whether or not it’s “good”
tl;dr: your argument is stuck in the 80s & you’re all wrong
Thomas, Brownen. “What Is Fanfiction and Why Are People Saying Such Nice Things about It??” Storyworlds: A Journal of Narrative Studies, Vol. 3 (2011), pp. 1-24. (start with this one)
– “Canons and Fanons: Literary Fanfiction Online.”
Hellekson, Karen & Kristina Busse, eds. Fan Fiction and Fan Identities in the Age of the Internet (McFarland & Company, 2006)
– The Fan Fiction Studies Reader (University of Iowa Press, 2014)
Booth, Paul ed. A Companion to Media Fandom and Fan Studies (Wiley Blackwell, 2018)
Booth, Paul. Digital Fandom: New Media Studies (Peter Lang, 2010)
De Kosnik, Abigail. Rogue Archives: Digital Cultural Memory and Media Fandom (MIT Press, 2016)
Gray, Jonathan et. al. Fandom: Identities and Communities in a Mediated World (NYU Press, 2007)
Turk, Tisha. “Metalepsis in Fan Vids and Fan Fiction.” In Metalepsis in Popular Culture, eds. Karin Kukkonen and Sonia Klimek (Walter de Gruyter, 2011).
all books available on libgen, all articles either open access or just plug the DOI into scihub

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that ‘pakige?’ post but me, a couple hours after posting a fic, like ‘comints?’
Cops who sparked national outrage for murdering black people in the street or even their own beds keep their jobs...meanwhile..
This gets repurposed a lot but the original is still relevant
I remember when people first realized how much funnier these comics were just without Garfield’s dialog, which Jon was never able to hear anyway. Garfield only ever communicated to us readers in thought balloons, after all. What we’re seeing here is Jon’s canonical reality.
I’m torn between laughing at these and being deeply worried for Jon lol
this is like 100% what living with cats is like
the one where he’s abruptly alarmed by his pants is the funniest one to me
the older you get the more you relate. this how i talk to my kombucha
Bro I love married banter but also I hate it bc Im like. God I wish that were me
Nothing has ever so acutely made me want a partner as when Rachel McElroy mispronounced "teetotaler" and Griffin, filled with delight, without a hint of irony, was like "you're the LOVE and LIGHT of my life let's get married again" like shit dude maybe love is real

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a child with an undiagnosed mental illness: I think I need help. I struggle with things nobody else seems to be struggling with.
a parent who never got diagnosed for the exact same mental illness: Oh sweetie. EVERYONE struggles with that :)
haha um
Dammit Seanan.
Ahahaha
What the fuck