Ice Devouring Sex Tornado

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

affirmations for shoving veggies up ur ass

Disagree. No vegetable is good vegetable.

I mean I'm sure every EMT and emergency department worker would agree with you, but such negativity will only hinder the goal of shoving veggies up ur ass :/

what did dragons fuck before cars were invented

Ah yes, the whore's drawn carriage.

my soul leaving my body when the bread pops out of the toaster

Blanket coming off on a very cold morning.

I cannot emphasize enough how exactly accurate this is to working in production

Mulder & Scully will wake up in the middle of the night & instinctively reach for the phone to call each other only to remember they sleep in the same bed now so they can just turn over

*scully whispering two inches from mulders face at 2am*: mulder it’s me