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loathsomespider

you played dog games

loathsomespider

you won dog prizes

grungixfungi

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blemgoid

one time a being of pure light & truth appeard to me and started saying some bullshit but i ignored it

evilwizard

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

cryptidexploded

Can they maybe not

evilwizard

you’re prejudiced against new ideas.

victor-maze

Can we maybe add giant identical Towers raising out of the ground all over the World to this?

evilwizard

well i don’t see Why Not.

sacred-portal

blemgoid

at the bus stop showing a stranger the picture of the devil that I keep in my wallet

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derinthescarletpescatarian

Fighting the stereotypes

transgenderer

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

transgenderer

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

spinecutter-archive

my writing gland is purple and swollen

spinecutter-archive

my friendship gland is black and shriveled

#I keep saying this but glands are the new berries

cryptotheism

This email could have been a flayed screaming man

iamanewvagina101

what r ur kinks

I'm consumed by grief

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charl0ttan

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

druggonaut

Wrong! Humans irrelevant and obsolete now

charl0ttan

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

fleysh

bluesardine

Some great additions from the comments.

@apocrypals

looks at you

looks at you

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

dark-magician-girl-meets-world

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

shroomgluggler

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

noelle-ism

#hope #hopepunk #positivity #utopia #dreamworld

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electronicmail

id lie right to willy wonkas face. “did you drink fizzy lifting drinks” of course not. And then id hit him

electronicmail

genuinely one of the weirdest takes i've ever seen. i don't think anyone on the planet feels the way you do about willy wonka. i don't think that you've actually seen either of the movies, if i'm being frank. i have nothing against depp's wonka, necessarily, but he certainly doesn't strike any fear in my heart. i definitely don't favor him. are you out of your mind? i can't wrap my head around how it's possible you have any sort of fear of depp's willy wonka when he's the only one of the two of them to have a backstory that gives any indication that he's a sympathetic character. he's sort of pleasant in his attempts to charm his visitors and seems to have some regressive symptoms. wilder's wonka is a maniac who yells at children. i mean nobody i've ever spoken to has felt this way. it's bizarre. it's making my stomach hurt.

electronicmail

rewatched both of the movies yesterday and i just wanted to say I was right and you were wrong

exeggcute

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

exeggcute

can you imagine.

bisexualshakespeare

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

cleverlittlefox

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