Endearingly Neurotic

I heard they were planning to make an Off-Broadway one-man show of 'The Shining', but the story was just going to be from Jack Torrance's point-of-view only and cut everything with his boy, Danny. Thankfully, this idea was canned for being too boring. It would seem all Jack and no boy, makes play a dull work.

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”

Butch won’t be my companion. He’s like you’re too intense. You must’ve turned on that computer like 50 times in a row last time.

What’s really funny about lowering your karma this way is that after you do a major good Karma action and listen to the radio, the radio DJ Three Dog will be like this horrible fucker from vault 101 we all hate him so much you know that guy? He did another fucking thing. He saved a thousand orphans.

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

well yeah you dig it thats how you make a grave

A feel like this is a conversation between  Shakespeare's clowns, and I love that.