better bring an umbrella

This is how they get you

CHIO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PREDICTED THE FUCKIN- RIZZINATOR WTF??!?!?!?!?

Did Dan see this one????

Dating is so annoying. To be a match you have to make money but not too much money, be attractive but not too intimidating, you have to work out, you have to clean up after you shoot cum all over the wall you have to max all their hearts out and watch their cut scenes you have to not cheat on them with the little green alien that taps on your window every night you have respect their parents even when theyre out of line. Guys it is a lot. I cant do all that honestly. Im fucking the alien rifht now

guy at an art museum standing in front of a completely innocuous and somewhat boring painting muttering “what does it mean? what does it all mean?” in an increasingly distressed tone

you hear him say “I don’t understand it, I can’t understand it” as he stumbles away from a very plain still life painting of wine and fruit with his head in his hands

official library post

I need non-librarians to understand that this is not a celebratory counter. It's a plea for help.

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

you would make this post

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Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink

I am forever irritated that people are more apt to call a drag queen 'she' than call a trans woman 'she'

i wake up and go over to my board that says "days since the number on the board was changed" and i erase the 0 and write a 1 and then i erase the 1 and write another 0

I go to my board that says "days since the counter on this board was reset" and increase the number by one. Then decide to reset it and set it to zero.