Nugget

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

I see it’s *looks at smudged writing on hand* Lent again.

10/10 post bringing it back for 2026

Youtube is full of ads, spotify is full of ads, tumblr is full of ads, pinterest is full of ads. Everything uses ai. Every new update makes the website/app worse. Youtube auto translates almost every video I want to watch. Sometimes pinterest only loads ads for me. Check out this new ai feature. Here's a new update that breaks ur laptop. Here's a new update that breaks ur phone. Why are u complaining about ur phone, just get the newest iphone lol. Join my patreon. Join my membership. Pay a monthly membership to get all features. Upgrade your membership to get even more features. Subscribe to netflix. Subscribe to disney. Subscribe to amazon. Subscribe to hulu. This content isn't available in ur country. This content was removed. This website was removed. This feature only exists for apple. U need to a WiFi connection to play this game. This app only exists for apple. U need an account. We need your email to finish creating this account. We need your number to finish creating your account. We need your id to finish creating your account. In order to delete your account please write an email. In order to delete your account you need a laptop. Oops our database was hacked and ur information was stolen. Ur data was sold from this random website u used once 10 years ago. Spam call. Spam call. Spam call.

If I ever share anything that was AI generated it is purely by accident. I hate that it's getting harder and harder to tell and it makes me want to never use the internet again. It definitely had its faults, but man I miss the internet of the 2000s so much.

Adding to this: please TELL ME if I share something that is genAI and you know it is. I want to know this information.

It's the law to reblog this every time you see it.

congratulations to me and my funny dog that i drew 8 years ago for getting a million notes

Watching the new tasting history and very charmed by the fact that the whole Michelin Star system apparently started out as, like, a galaxy-brain marketing campaign for the concept of road trips.

"Our master plan to sell tires is becoming the most prestigious restaurant critics in the world' is admittedly possibly the Frenchest thing imaginable.

Oh nooo I hadn’t noticed that my cat’s automatic feeder was getting low on food so as usual she dashed off when she heard the machine start but I couldn’t hear the usual sound of her food falling into the bowl so I went to look and my poor cat was just. Sitting there. Staring at her empty food bowl. Then for a second she glanced up at me then right back to her bowl with the biggest, saddest, most bewildered eyes you could ever imagine on such a small creature. I filled her bowl and the machine right away ofc but I still feel a little guilty 😭

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

I actually have six parents and three moms total but they're all straight as far as I'm aware

Polyamorous parents or divorce?

Turbo divorce

What the heck is a turbo divorce?

It's when you end up with six parents

[ID: A tweet by Tom Jenks @/zimZalla that says, "All mentions of love and death in The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare (1597) colour-coded, in order of occurrence". Attached is a block of text composed only of the words "love" (colored in red) and "death" (colored in black). "Love" is more predominant in the first half, and "death" is more prevalent in the second half. Overall, there is slightly more red than black, and the list begins and ends in "love". End ID]

idk if this is a trope or whatever but i love it so much when fictional characters massively downplay the severity of their injuries but in more of a comedic way than a tragic one. like some guy gets impaled and they just glance down at the shard of metal sticking out of them and say some dumb bullshit like "oh man. that's gonna need some ice." and then pass out while all their friends yell at them for being an unfunny idiot with terrible priorities.

jkr actively funds and lobbies for her hate groups and against my country's independence movement with the money she gets from dumb fucks who don't think their dollars count. if you're going to be a moral jellyfish at least simp for a dead bigot.

americans love to treat her like an abstract concept just because she's not paying taxes in their country. last year I had to tell my manager I refused to work on a major account for our healthcare charity bc it was laundering her shitty money. can you put down the racist YA for thirty seconds in solidarity

we got 54 reblogs in before someone said 'yeah duh just pirate her stuff'. so? no? you can't put down the racist YA for 30 seconds? fucking embarrassing.