A Few of Your Favorite Bones

My one friend really likes "yo mama" jokes, but she feels bad for saying them to me because my mama's dead, and lately she's been circumventing this by adding "in heaven" to them, a concept I was introduced to with zero warning via a text that said, "Yo mama's so stupid she's in heaven pre-heating the microwave."

"you understand" is a common phrase exchanged between perverts

The thing I dislike about alt histories where real life monarchs have been made both gay and unproblematic is that it seems to imply that gay monarchs have not existed in history but if they did they would be cool. Which isn’t true. They have existed and they were just as bad as straight people. And I think it is disrespectful to real queer history to pretend that queer people have never been absolute bastards

Everyone who has more shame than me is living in a prison with imaginary walls, everyone with less shame than me is polluting the commons with their humiliating behavior. Those with the same amount of shame with me are Normal and Well Adjusted

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

@joy-and-whimsy-official

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!