Stripping in the Wilderness

But it’s a parody of Master and Commander’s opening title

PNG'D! (i didn't know the font so this is taken directly from the image)

NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!

I'm on a hunt for dark m/m mafia romance novels that aren't objectively bad (and fluffy? I don't understand what's going on). It's a fundamentally ill-conceived exercise and I have no one to blame but myself.

This one is extra strange because it's a mafia/billionaire romance, which feels somewhat broken, tropewise. Like, the appeal of both billionaire romance and mafia romance is that a very powerful person is obsessed with you and will go to extraordinary lengths to win your love, but in this case it kinda evens out and now they're just guys dating. You could maybe do something with the class difference, but the mob guy is a multimillionaire who never has to worry about money, so it feels moot. You could also do something with the fact that the mob guy is really violent, except he's not that violent actually and also the billionaire's power is already enforced by violence done on his behalf so like what are we doing here.