losing my gay marbles

100% AND i was able to name all the real ones

one nice thing is that you can basically use punctuation however you want: it doesnt matter at all and ppl will understand what you mean

one— nice thing! is that you? —can basically use punctuation. however, you want it. "doesn't matter at all" and "ppl will understand"—what you mean??

one of the best parts of making up increasingly wild and specific aus with a friend is sending them posts like "this is sooo blorbo in torture chamber au number 15" and they reply back like "YESSS btw have i told you about my latest idea for how to torture them even more" and you get to enjoy a little snack and kick your feet with glee

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

maybe i should go use the pot to cook

point and click protagonist when you haven’t moved the mouse in 30 seconds:

whenever i go back through my blog to look for something i end up wasting a lot of time just looking at the posts because for some reason it's full of stuff i would reblog

there's art inside me trying to get out