attention freaks: it's me

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

you guys dont even know that the zootopia abortion comic takes place inside jerry seinfelds apartment

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

once i read everything on earth then i think ill be prepared to write

How are my sweetie pees

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

pitch for my new tarot card “The Emoji”

You know that whatever character did those problematic things isn't like. Real, right?

You are aware that a fictional character is just a rhetorical construct designed to fulfill a narrative/thematic purpose right? That their actions are written by an author who wants to use them to explore complex ideas and moral gray areas within the safe confines of fiction right? That they aren't a real person who has killed real people right?

loading screen hints will just casually flip between the obscure facts that no one possibly could ever have figured out and the most inane bullshit imaginable. "did you know you can upgrade your wombus at the fizzwhacker store in Gropnurk Fel?" followed immediately by "try not to get set on fire!"

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world