attention freaks: it's me

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

i have tested positive for tzatziki

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

People get so fixated on the rehabilitation of convicted criminals. Nobody ever talks about rehabilitating law abiding citizens. This is because law abiding citizens are a lost cause. The law abiding citizen is beyond redemption.

would you rather have a gay thought or a son daughter

i wish mosquitos didn't make you itchy and give you horribly infectious diseases. i wouldn't begrudge them a humble nibble were it not so