I don't want a gender I just want to look like a vaguely disreputable wizard.
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Today's Document
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@punsbulletsandpointythings
I don't want a gender I just want to look like a vaguely disreputable wizard.

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earlier this week Twitter user ppuccin0 tweeted about a fashion article that advised against tops with large floral patterns, saying the wearer was in danger of looking like a "ăăăłăăŁăăŻăă°ăă," or a "romantic auntie." the tweet went viral with many agreeing that a "romantic auntie" sounded like a very nice thing to aspire to be, and some even posted illustrations or photos tagged with the trend
illustration by Toyota Yuu (author of Cherry Magic)
illustration by 141shkw/Sora Midori (author of Beautiful Curse)
photos by Takinami Yukari (author of Motokare Mania and Watashi-tachi wa Mutsuu Ren'ai ga Shitai or "We Want A Painless Romance")
illustration by m:m (mangaka of Matataki no End Roll)
illustration by ooinuai (mangaka of Onikui Kitan)
illustration by ma2 (mangaka of The Reason We Fall In Love)
BONUS:
Twitter user WomeGa55 drew some art of âRomance Auntie x Combat Auntieâ
IT GOT BETTER
The RomCom Aunties!
when i was getting trained as a welder the guys started playing sneaky grabass with each other and with me. i almost hit a few people while holding dangerous tools in my hand because they wouldnât stop grabbing me from behind, then laughing that i âalmostâ hit them, so i finally had to go to the instructor and say, look, iâve had years and years of self defense training due the fact iâm a very small weirdo who is in legitimate danger of getting hatecrimed and at some point one of these guys is going to goose me again and im going to bury a wrench in his eye. get them to stop grabbing me, because i donât want to get kicked out for hitting people.
the next day i ended up punching someone in the face with a doughnut in my fist because she thought i was being a big fucking buzzkill who tattled to teacher about a harmless game, and, guess what, grabbed my butt. i got icing all over her hair. she complained to teacher...who let everyone know that this was why they werenât supposed to be playing grabass in the fucking shop.
anyway donât fucking sneak up on twitchy little queers with hypervigilance, it fucking sucks and youâre lucky if you get a doughnut to a face instead of a hammer.
given that this was a welding class, I was expecting this to end up so much worse
cut Ćiwe (whitefish)
by dene artist morgan tsetta
earrings made with contemporary charlotte cut seed beads on wool backed with traditionally tanned caribou hide and 18k gold plated kidney hooks.
*nfs please do not copy*
Legend of Queneesh Print The print is 48 x 51 cm or about 19 x 20 inches. The image size is 42 x 42 cm or about 16 1/2 x 16 1/2 inches.
Calvin Hunt
from the website: âLong ago there were big cedar-planked houses, totem poles, and canoes in the Comox Valley. The nights were very quiet except for the sounds of sea birds, water, and owls hooting. One night an old man, Quoi Qwa Lak, had a dream. A voice told him that he must tell the chief and the Comox People to prepare for a great flood.
The Chief called his people together to tell them to prepare for the flood. They built canoes and packed them with food and clothes. The young men took a strong cedar rope to the top of the glacier and tied the rope at the top. The people tied their canoes to the rope. It kept raining and raining until little of the glacier was above water. The people are very afraid. All of a sudden the glacier began to move and the people cried 'White Whale! White Whale! Queneesh! Queneesh!' The glacier has taken the form of a whale. The people were saved. The rain stopped and Queneesh still stands guard over the KâĂČmoks People. For traditional designing, the whale is done in black form lines. His white back represents the glacier.âÂ
âCalvin Hunt

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Tlingit Box Abstract II Linocut on Mulberry paper, Variation II, Edition 9 of 35 11.5 x 10.5âłÂ
Stan Bevan
When a book is bad, oh well, the failed artistry of one rube, maybe co-authors. But when a movie is bad, and you consider the military-like scale of production, man-hours, the money involved: you must understand, it feels like Iâve been at war with the world for 29 years.
#when a book is bad you can be like. wow what a fascinating insight into One Guy's personal issues#when a movie is bad it's like. hundreds of people thousands of hours and millions of dollars were marshalled to make this thing#and it Completely Sucks (@specialagentartemis)
The Hammer đš
RYAN GOSLING "I'm Just Ken" wins Best Original Song at the 29th Annual Critics' Choice Awards (January 14, 2024)
ok but ignoring the fact they just forgot to cover hudsons lil gun hip tattoo letâs actually say shane has that tattoo. he got it when he scored his first hat trick and got so fucking wasted with the team for the first time ever that they convinced him to let one of their girlfriends give him a tattoo to celebrate and heâs like okey in his lil drunk haze of being around so many people but so happy and full of adrenaline and when this girl asks what he wants he goes âa gunâ and someone calls out âwhy!â and he smiles coly and is like âbecause Iâm a good shotâ and everyoneâs hootin and hollerin and someone grabs his shoulders and is shaking him and messing up his hair and heâs laughing along and then after a minute the girl comes with a little sketch of a gun and goes âwhere do you want it?â and he starts to freak a bit because oh is he really going to do this and then the girl is like âwhat about on your hipbone? thatâs hotâ and she obviously flirting even shane realises that but then an old timer on the team (bros like 29) that shane secretly has a crush on is like âhell yeah rookie, girl is right thatâs hot as fuckâ and shane just nods in agreement and then heâs being positioned by the girl and suddenly his sweats are pulled down below his hipbone and a stencil of the gun is pressed to his hip and he doesnât really remember much after that but he does remember waking up with it and thinking i wonder what Rozanov will say and then pinching himself at that thought.

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This is your daily reminder that canon Shane Hollander never showed any sings of ÂŽfemininityâ as a social concept. Never showed any child like quirks. Had a lot of close friends and bagged some hot people. Is very horny and foul mouthed and out freaked Ilya multiple times.
So yeah, I donât know why a part of this fandom likes to feminize or infantilise him.
Shane in the locker room of any given All Star Game after he and Ilya get married and are playing on opposing teams for the weekend: If we don't beat those guys I will actually spend the rest of my life thinking about it. This is your only chance to prove to me that you belong in the NHL. This is not a friendly game, this is a grudge match to the death. I want you all to lock in like you have never fucking locked in--
Meanwhile, Ilya: Woohoo boys let's play some fucking hockey [Timber by Pitbull blasting at full volume]
Cliff Marleau, probably: Hollander's gonna kill you in cold blood, man.
Ilya: Cliff. Cliff let me look in your eyes when I say this. I know. I will enjoy it very much. My night ends the same whether I win or lose, Marley. Anyway. [Song switches to Party Rock Anthem] LET'S MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT BOYS. WOO
Cliff: Dude what is this playlist.
Ilya: It is called 'Prom Night 2013.' Was a good year for me, Marley.
heated rivalry twitter (71/?) game nights in boston are always... eventful
i know in my heart that anya is 100000% a master of the "i haven't been fed yet đ„ș pls I'm SO hungwy đ„ș pls can I have breakfast đ„ș" scam
she has a limited window of opportunity for it to work after shane moves in and they're finding their new rhythms because shane gets up first, so he told ilya "i can handle anya in the morning since I'm up earlier" meaning letting her out, making sure she's got water, AND getting her breakfast served (because this is logical and ilya gives her her dinner, so yes. balance. fairness.), but ilya processed this as, "you stay in bed because you like having phone time before you get up, and I will let anya out and you can feed her when you get up," which is sweet because now ilya gets his extra twenty minutes of staying in bed without feeling bad when anya needs to go out, and he doesn't expect shane to feed anya because he already gives her dinner so why wouldn't he also feed her breakfast? (especially because i know that dog's bowl is COMPLEX. she is eating GOOD. she is eating the insta model breakfast plate of dog cuisine meant to create the ULTIMATE dog health foundation for the dog of a millionaire.)
and they do NOT know that this miscommunication has happened because anya always eats quickly even with her slow feeder, so by the time ilya gets up, she's by an empty bowl doing her đ„ș please đ„ș breakfast đ„ș routine, while shane is doing yoga in the gym.
and it is not until little miss is well on her way to content sausage roll that they discover they've been HUSTLED.
ilya is more than slightly proud of her tbh.
@penandinkprincess
baby Ilyaâs tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina wonât let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and heâs plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.
Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.
i just HAD to draw this

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Oh shit wait ok
So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those âhow well do you know your partnerâ games but instead itâs âhow well do you know your rivalâ and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports
And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously theyâll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, âwinningâ is just for the show and wonât impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesnât matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else
The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and arenât just saying things like âhow many goals last season? Probably one less than me hahaâ and actually have each others stats memorized
Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round thatâs just Shane and Ilya and itâs now the usual couple game questions and theyâre still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning
âWhat is Shaneâs favorite breakfast?â
âKale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.â
âOk um, what is Ilyaâs favorite breakfast?â
âTwo sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.â
âWhat is something on Shaneâs bucket list?â
âSleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.â
âWhat is something on Ilyaâs bucket list?â
âThat thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.â
âOk last one. I think we all know Shaneâs answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?â
*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* âProbably a model. Or something.â
â⊠Yeah, letâs go with that.â
Years later when theyâre out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is âIt was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.â
Images from a Summer never was~
Inspired by the fact that it breaks my heart that Shane and Ilya have no pictures from the early years of their relationship đđđđ
(Zoom ins below the cut!)