do you think cats understand that we can't see as well in the dark as them or when i trip over my cat in the night is he like. bro what the fuck is your problem. stop being clumsy.
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@punk-lucifer
do you think cats understand that we can't see as well in the dark as them or when i trip over my cat in the night is he like. bro what the fuck is your problem. stop being clumsy.

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what people don’t realize about tumblr sexymen is a character being called one is a [bad] thing. the label was originally applied to characters that were lusted over by straight women who refused to engage with any other character who wasn’t a white twink. that’s why oncest exists. that’s why those bill cipher and wheatley gijinkas exist.
sans was a special case because people preferred his original design (short and not conventionally attractive) however the “refusal to engage with any other character” was very much still there like look at all of the AUs that were made specifically because of him.
the amount of mischaracterisation a character has to go through in order to truly count as a sexyman (and there’s about 20 sexymen proper) would cause most people to have a brain aneurysm like it sucks so bad.
times have drastically changed since the onceler, and the range of characters people hype up is far more diverse than it once was. the time period in which a character was most popular (between 2012 - 2018) is the most fundamental part in making them a sexyman.
this is why any sexyman poll made after the one that killed queen lizzy is completely null to me. 90% of the characters in them are just regular fan favourites like get this common real life dude out of there. if you could talk about liking a character with a coworker and not get viciously made fun of by them then that character is not a sexyman like that’s the full truth of the matter.
(this is also why anime boys like reigen and komaeda often count. hate for anything anime-based outside of the internet was especially egregious before 2020)
also. there is a huge distinction between “sexy man” and sexyman. this is why senshi does not count. Because he is genuinely sexy. My final message. Goodbye
primer on ocean waves so i can explain to you and you can explain to others how nolan's odyssey was visually and technically underwhelming.
there are 2 main types of waves. wind waves and swell. wind waves (called chop when the period is short) are caused by present wind kicking up the surface of the water. this is where you see little whitecaps and generally pointy, uneven waves. swell is caused by powerful sustained wind whose waves have traveled a long way and developed into consistent self-perpetuating wave forms, and looks like long smooth waves; the energy is coming from the sea itself. swell is the thing that makes you feel like the entire ocean is heaving & is what throws ships around. the sea state is usually described as a combination of swell (the ground movement of the sea) and chop (the movement of the surface) so you might say we have a 4 foot swell (measured from the trough at the bottom to the crest at the top of a large heap of water) plus 2 foot chop (smaller waves closer together on top of the swell). swell is the hardest to get in photo or video in a way that shows its true size, especially if you're shooting on your phone for an instagram story from the bridge of a ship, but if you were say making a 70mm film adaptation of a story where the main character is being tortured by the ocean itself you would probably want to figure that out. because you generally need swell in order to get any kind of impressive motion going on*
*EXCEPT in storms, when the winds are so strong that the wind waves themselves "heap up" and can become mountainous without a preexisting ground swell (when the waves escape the storm or the storm ends these waves will sort themselves out and continue as swell). wind waves obviously behave differently and have different features in higher winds. the beaufort scale is the tool used internationally by mariners and meteorologists to determine wind speed in unprotected waters and describes the features of gale-force, storm-force, hurricane-force winds.
so for example when i'm driving a small work boat at my job, if i notice long streaks of foam starting to run down the backs of the waves, that's my cue to call in and consider ending operations for the day, because on paper my operational limit is sustained 30 knot winds (in that anything higher increases my level of risk). you can see how things get more impressive the higher the winds get, and based on this you can imagine the kind of things we'd expect odysseus to encounter. spindrift is when the wind is so strong that it breaks the surface tension of the water without interacting with any object and all the crests look like they're steaming, it's super cool to see. here's a really good video of the waves caused by "violent storm" winds so you can get a sense of what it might look like if the ocean was mad at you. we want mountainous waves blocking out the horizon.
here's a shot of a "storm" from the odyssey trailer.
so check the scale. this is literally described as a Gentle Breeze. like a Moderate Breeze if we're being generous. what else can you say. this is 2 seconds after a guy gets swept overboard by a wave. obviously the trailer doesn't represent the entire movie but i watched the whole three hours of that and i would say that the bigger seas occasionally got up to 3 foot swell with 2 foot chop, but usually just a 1-4ft chop on flat ocean. it's possible that it got up to force 6 but definitely not above that and im not sure it got that high, i mostly just remember confused seas with a lot of quick, smooth chop (this kind of behavior doesn't affect boats at all). occasionally it looked like they would try to use a powerboat wake to simulate swell but they shot way too close to the origin (and you can't get big swell that way) and just ended up with more sharp, confused-looking waves
as for the on-deck shots, the behavior of the ship and the conditions on deck were obviously totally inconsistent with the environment, but also comically inaccurate even for the conditions they were pretending to be in? so like first of all the ship was almost always rolling side to side, which IS the scariest and most dangerous type of motion especially in a boat shaped like that, but if you're in a storm you should be turning your boat to point into the waves so that you're pitching fore and aft instead of killing everyone on board. we should be seeing the prow dive into the front of a wave and have green water flood the front of the ship and then see nothing but sky a second later. in a ton of these "matt damon is wet and getting splashed with white water" scenes you can see the flat sea in the background and they often stop trying to make it look like the ship is moving at all from one shot to the next. the spray they throw at the crew is imo not enough to snatch someone off a deck like that, and it all looks like white water that comes from waves hitting the side of a boat and splashing up, but in a lot of cases the direction it comes from makes no physical sense. maybe that's poseidon idk. what you should see instead in this kind of situation is a whole wave breaking OVER the side of the boat and basically a solid wall of water sweeping people away, but you need big waves for that.
this is stuff that directors of maritime films work hard to perfect. even major directors like ridley scott (white squall), peter weir (master and commander), baltasar kormákur (adrift -- similar size ship to the odyssey btw), ang lee (life of pi) have developed and used strategies for showing us waves and storms that are exciting and impressive and scary. it IS understood to be an essential element of competence in this kind of film. of all these The Odyssey should be the most epic. it's The Odyssey. all maritime literature is descended from The Odyssey. but christopher nolan didn't seem interested in spending more than $100 of his thousand morbillion dollar budget on the main antagonist of the story.
there are a thousand adaptational and baseline writing decisions in the film that make it awful by any measure but people like to handwave all that on the basis that it's "visually impressive" and "exciting" But it's not that. this is the most obvious way that the DIRECTION of the film fails at one of its essential tasks. it's supposed to be a seafaring adventure but it's not because the sea is boring. there is no credit due for anything nolan did here. He showed you a gentle breeze.
(putting on my mariner hat again) i think charybdis is a really good example of the worldbuilding problem in nolan's odyssey because according to nolan he wanted to have the gods express themselves through the natural world but in the movie the natural world is not very compelling. the only thing i thought was cool was when they show "a river of fire meeting a river of ice" as a river of lava meeting a glacier. Which is in the fucking background for like 30 seconds maximum. Can we get some drone shots in here for the love of god. we should be FEELING the wrath of poseidon from the sea even if odysseus denies it, not watching the crew get splashed by offscreen buckets. we should get dreadful shots of storms coming on or get jumpscared by white squalls. we should see rogue waves. Christopher Nolan has never made a sea movie before and so for all his gritty action chops he doesn't seem to know how to for example make a wave look real big, and that's honestly just not acceptable if you're going to take on the odyssey, and maybe that's why i was so unimpressed by the cinematography. The fucking Wolf Of Wall Street does the wrath of poseidon better in a 5 minute sequence. and for a writer/director who allegedly wants to make the magical feel natural, this total disinterest in actually portraying the majesty and gravity of the natural world made charybdis one of the biggest disappointments of the movie for me. To be clear i don't think there's anything wrong with doing a pirates of the caribbean style charybdis. i think that's awesome and charybdis in pirates of the caribbean was super exciting and scary when i saw it as a kid. but if you are going CGI whirlpool for your 3 hour summer action blockbuster you need to actually outdo or at least MEET fucking disney's pirates of the caribbean at the bar they set. instead we got a 5 second shot of a moderately(?) large and very fake-looking vortex in the middle of a calm sea just sitting there with no teeth or anything.
the thing is if you're actually trying to do realism over spectacle, charybdis is a huge opportunity. charybdis is my favorite maritime element of the odyssey because she IS EXPLICITLY a natural phenomenon. when she's described in the poem (living under a small rock on one side of a narrow channel, swallowing water and belching it back up periodically) i UNDERSTAND that this is a near-literal description of a strong tidal vortex in a dangerous narrows. that shit 100% happens in real life and it is scary and even today mariners treat these places with a mythological fascination. look up seymour narrows and the devil's hole in british columbia (there used to be a rock in the seymour narrows that according to local lore would create an even bigger vortex than the devil's hole before the canadian government blew up the rock so people would stop dying in the narrows). I also have seen some crazy breaker behavior on remote surveys that had me drawing a charybdis in my notes as a reminder of what to report for the coast pilot. so like. umm. if christopher nolan had any interest in depicting a natural world of mythological scale why on earth was charybdis so fake???? he had odysseus try to approach charybdis for some fucking reason-- why not justify it w odysseus thinking he's such a clever and excellent mariner he can make the passage at slack tide? why not set up and present charybdis as the scariest passage in the known world, the way she is in the text? mostly it comes down to nolan being a completely incurious filmmaker who thinks he's above the source material and above literally the entire physical world, and of course leaning in to the hollywood trend of including no one with any maritime knowledge in the development of maritime plot elements, which again is just not acceptable for THE ODYSSEY. and don't even get me started on the allision with scylla's rock. this guy isn't very good at boating
many of you just. genuinely don’t believe that people can grow and change.
this is about the death penalty and its also about call out posts about people who have already apologized for things they did a long time ago and it’s also about using ‘toxic’ or ‘abuser’ as if its an immutable class of person, and its also about any other circumstance with permanent consequences or wherein you assume someone is still the same person they were.

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Steaming through Harz, Germany
tom_juenemann
That's straight up not a happy ending though. The only non-white gay hockey player in the entire series loses almost all of his friends (unintentionally due to the friends he doesn't lose, so there will always be that hanging over their relationships), he goes to his husband's team where not only is he paid way less than what he's worth, he's demoted (they could've given him the A or had a rotating captaincy, that does happen in the NHL), he's called a prima donna, his boundaries are trampled on, everything he feared happening comes true. What sort of message does that send?
He shouldn't have had to choose. Yes, Ilya had to make the decision to go to Ottawa but he ended up getting a raise, close friends, and supportive teammates out of it. Shane got none of that.
Okay so maybe YOU don't think it's a happy ending? And like, you're doing a whole lot of conjecture there. We don't actually know what either of them get paid. Shane doesn't lose Hayden and he reconciles with JJ, the only two Voyageurs he was really close with. We don't know that they don't ultimately work something out about the captaincy because we literally only see them stepping on the ice for their home opener. Nobody actually calls him a primadonna in the book or anything like that? We don't get any of the reaction to him leaving on the page other than his loved ones going "good for you dude I get it".
The Voyageurs don't kick him out, Shane chooses to leave and he chooses to go to Ottawa where his husband and his parents are and where he knows he can play kickass hockey with a great team. And who's to say that Shane doesn't get close friends and supprtive teammates out of the move? Why would Shane not make friends with the Centaurs? He already IS friendly with Wyatt and Bood who both coached at foundation camps. Shane isn’t punted to the beer leagues, he's going to play with an insanely promising team that also has his husband on it, who he fucking loves playing with and who he will finally get to see more than once a month. And he wasn’t happy in Montreal anymore even before they got outed!
If anything, Shane gets a better deal out of his move than Ilya did because Ilya was fucking miserable for two years before it started getting better. He built the Centaurs from the ground up. They were the literal worst team in the league and Ilya ground through loss after loss after humiliating loss and the media DID mock him about his move and Shane just gets to waltz in and probably win a Cup immediately.
And again, the whole point is that he realises success didn't protect him. That's the message being sent. Don't make yourself fit the mould they're trying to stuff you into because it's not worth it; find your happiness and fucking claim it (which is the same message of Game Changer, and of Heated Rivalry, and of Tough Guy, and of Common Goal, and of Role Model. Rachel is not subtle). Shane was the undisputed best (because Ilya was stuck on a shit team!) and it didn't mean shit. The book is so fucking clear about Shane moving to Ottawa being an improvement and not in any sense a downgrade because he's not actually losing anything, he's leaving a hostile and toxic work environment and taking control of his life and yeah, sure, he isn't captain immediately. But if your husband had spent years on a shit team, to be closer to you, and finally got them in shape just before you joined him, it would be really fucking shitty to go and say actually, I should be in charge now. Ilya deserves the recognition and their relationship is based on real, honest competition. Shane still has two more Cups and an Olympic medal. He's fucking fine.
So yes, everything he was scared of came true. And he realised it wasn't nearly as scary as the thought of losing Ilya, so instead of bowing and scraping and going back in the closet, he chooses Ilya, and he's damn well rewarded for it.
Let's also not forget that both Eric and Ryan literally quit playing altogether because they're unhappy. Eric is retiring to fade into obscurity and travel the world with his problematic age gap boyfriend (I love Common Goal but, you know) after a very long and successful career but Ryan played for what, 5 years? and he did NOT get paid the big bucks Shane and Ilya get, he does not have luxury brand deals or a real estate portfolio, he retires to be Fabian's trophy boyfriend (and Fabian isn't raking in cash either, he's playing small local clubs!) and thinks about maybe studying to be a social worker. The only real friend Ryan has in Tough Guy is Wyatt, who is traded to Ottawa not even halfway through the book, and then it's just him and Fabian and maybe Fabian's friends. Ryan arguably has a very similar experience as Shane when he realises "this team is toxic and doesn't give a shit about me as a person" and he does not get to join a better team who teach him to love hockey again, Ryan quits.
Shane maybe takes a bit of a pay cut and will be a hockey legend for the rest of his life. His Wikipedia page will say "After a contentious split from the Voyageurs [35], he continued to play for the Ottawa Centaurs, winning the championship three more times [36] [37] [38] while on the team with his husband until the couple retired in 2029, making him one of the most decorated professional players of all time [39]."
Shane is fucking fine.
Lmao yeah I feel like comparing Shane to the endings other Reid characters get (Ryan quitting, Eric retiring, Riley crashing out of his career and being miserable for a decade before getting his happy ending) you can feel how protective Reid is of Shane because she gives him everything. I might be projecting myself but looking at all her books together I think Shane is her hockey baby. She clearly loves Ilya too, but Shane indisputably gets the best career in the entire Reid-verse, and spends the least amount of time in a bad head space (like, five minutes before Tampa, and then from the outing to maybe the first cup they win in Ottawa, depending on how much the Montreal stuff weighs on him).
Small point, Bood does (TEASINGLY) call him a prima donna:
But that's because, you know, he's Shane fucking Hollander. It feels ridiculous to explain this so explicitly, but "Who the fuck does he think he is, right?" is a joke line indicating that Shane is so self-evidently the best and most famous hockey player around that the idea of him being humble is inherently absurd.
Also, immediately after this we're told that Shane is already the most popular player in Ottawa:
(Ilya does get extra credit for bringing him home, I'm sure)
When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.
people killed: 0
direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1
ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2
God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.
You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.
Official addition to this post.
filthy, filthy read
Hello. Since I've seen people submit finished wheels, I thought I'd submit a wheel I came up with. In this case, it's a wheel to tell you something that you can't do for a week.
https://wheelofnames.com/kch-gkt
this is a really really cool idea! Thanks!!!
You can't do this for a week!
How bad is this for you?
Its great! I can live with this
I already don't do this
It'll be annoying but I'll be fine
VERY BAD.
results/other
thanks inkarchivist for the submission!!

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i am not immune to a well choreographed fight scene with a fun song in the background
sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis
Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement
Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.
Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later
Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.
Elementary Sherlock deduces you are Trans and takes you on as a specialist in many obscure and useful disciplines, and also takes you in when you have a falling out with one of your many eccentric and rich paramours. This leads to you becoming an occasional and part-time housekeeper. You are Mrs. Hudson. Yes this is Canon and it aired on TV in like 2007
Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!
You can make a movie with where the only white character is a man named Ray Cism whose one line of his 16 seconds of screen time is “I seriously hate women and minorities.” and you’ll find fifty bajillion reader x Ray Cism fanfics and renaissance style drawings of him with a halo of golden light
people saying that Hayden is a bad friend for beefing with Ilya is so funny to me. Can’t even hate your perfect friend’s long-term situationship turned boyfriend. because of woke. He missed out on ten years of hating Ilya let him have this

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Emos & scene kids got this close to abolishing gender for real. I try not to think about it too much.
The idea of a popular teenage subculture where girl & boys pretty much all dress the same feels impossible now but for a while it was reality and it was beautiful.
never stop being obnoxious about fictional character online. you will find like-minded people and it will literally save you