uhh bread?

thinking about creatures.

Tumblr users will see some kind of animal or beast and just slam the reblog button

giving myself a merit badge that says SURVIVED MARCH

Cave divers are our bravest, most useless soldiers

those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine

they're called human rights because you get them by being human. No ifs no buts. Everyone gets them. Yes even those people

I love when fanfic authors are freakishly unhinged. "Yes, hello, I am here to write a heart wrenching story about relationships and mortality. My medium is Ducktales (2017)"

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

Reblogging for the last addition

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

“Humans are inherently evil” factoid actualy just statistical error. Average person commits 0 wrong doings. Billionaire George, who is slowly killing the planet and murdering millions to stuff his pockets, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

this baby Blue Heron killed the dinosaurs.

(game show host voice) FOR FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS............... ARE 📣 YOU 📣 MAD 📣 AT 📣 ME❓

Hey do you guys remember when Google worked. Do you. Do you remember when it worked better than the Tumblr search function.

Once more, Tumblr ends winning by just being there and doing nothing

the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”