Home of the Quest Givers

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results: 

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory) 

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.) 

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

Weapons. Trained, tested, forged in steel and fire. Failure is an inevitability that ends in death. Pain should not be felt--it should be recognized, familiar, and inconsequential

Martyrs. In the form of servants and princes, of leaders and underdogs. If blood is necessary, the martyr will lift their hands and offer it all

Shields. Like tempering a sword, but only to bear and not to lash out. Wounds are medals--not symbols of pride, but symbols of worth. A pretty shield is useless; scars mean a job well done

Experiments. Raised on the cold comfort of a lab table. Restraints are only necessary when they're not in their right mind. Is it honorable, to be twisted beyond recognition? Or is it just a necessary evil?

Monsters. Cruelty, caution, and regarding one as a creature beyond reasonable thought is tempering in its own right. But if you keep a leash at the right length, perhaps the massecre won't reach you. One can hope.

Idols. Pretty face, pretty name, pretty hands around their shoulders and throat. There to seduce, manipulate, force any feeling to come to the surface and twist it to their favor. Any genuinity stays locked behind the guilded cage that surrounds their pretty little heart

Trophies. Status and wealth and the traditions that keep someone at their heels, on their knees, to display and serve and decorate one's ballroom.

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

When ace folk talk about being forced back into the closet we are not joking. Anyone on the ace spectrum were so violently harrassed that it was legitmately safer for them to not ID as ace publicly. Literally anything would get you death threats.

Anti-ace folks were in bed with terfs and I'm sorry if that upsets people but yall really gotta understand that literally every anti-ace talking point was the exact same that is given to bisexuals, pansexuals, and trans women.

They talked about how we were "stealing resources", about how we were "predators" because we "sexualized children" with our identities as being asexual, about how we are "invading LGBT spaces".

There were multiple anti-ace "memes" that were just straight up death threats. "Take the shot Jessica" followed up with "Target Sighted" is one that still haunts me to this day.

Some of the biggest "exclusionist" discourse blogs all ended up being white women, several of whom race faked. One even claimed to be a Half-black half-jewish intersex trans woman who would become half of whatever race she was arguing with. It took a massive amount of people all pouring evidence into what she was doing for her to finally get dropped because oh yea, maybe its a bad look to have the white christian perisex girl be the "face" after all of this.

Ace people were routinely told that their sexual assaults didn't happen. People routinely told us that we can't have words to describe our oppression because it "groups gay people with straights". Ace people were routinely told that because we aren't sent to conversion therapy that we weren't "actually LGBT", and the people who did let it clear that they were sent to conversion therapy because they're asexual? "Oh that didn't happen." "Actually that was homophobia, not aphobia"

The "exclusionists" likewise, would REFUSE to not tie anything into conversion therapy. They'd literally use conversion therapy doctrine to dictate if you're gay enough.

The Acecourse was also around the time "queer is a slur" really started to gain traction, and guess what the exclusionists were doing? They were calling aces and our allies "Radikweers" without a fucking hint of irony while screaming about how queer is a slur and you need to tag everything with Q Slur

There was a DEDICATED sect of "exclusionists" who were lesbians obsessed with the idea of making the existence of asexual women a lesbophoic problem. I'm not even fucking joking. Same group of people would then claim that if you didn't have sex with them then you're abusive because you're "Witholding sex, which is an emotional need".

This is why I block everyone with any variation of "discourse" in their URL on sight. Aphobes made "discourse" blogs specifically for the purpose of harassing aspec people, so that their main blog was kept nice and clean and none of their followers had to see them telling people to kill themselves because they didn't want to date anyone.

I very vividly remember a post from what I thought was a nice person, that read something along the lines of, "It's important to tell kids it's okay to be gay, but it's pedophilic to tell kids it's okay to be ace".

These people literally fucking thought that being ace meant you were a pedophile, because it meant you were sexualizing all other orientations, and therefore telling kids they could be aspec meant you were sexualizing kids.

Every single fucking argument these people leveled against aspec people was not only blatantly recycled homophobia, absurd ammounts of it relied entirely upon ableism and racism, because these people were pretending that only white people were aspec, and the identity was, and I fucking quote, "A white supremacist's wet dream". They literally went around saying that everyone who was aspec was white, completely speaking over the black and brown people who were proudly aspec whose existance proved that what they were claiming was absolute bullshit.

These aphobes would claim to support all other LGBT people, especially trans people...unless the aspec person they were targeting was trans. Then not being a transphobe flew out the fucking window. Aphobes would claim that if you were trans and ace, that meant you weren't really trans, you were just pretending to be so you could invade the LGBT community.

Aphobes equated ace and aro identities as all "asexy cringiness" but they attacked both communities with equal viciousness, just under the same words.

This is why I block blogs with any variaiton of the word "discourse" in their url on sight. This is why whenever I see a new blog I want to follow, or get a new follower, I search the word "ace" and "aro" along with "trans" and "nonbinary" and "pan" and whatever other specific fucking keywords apply at the moment.

And the worst part is?

The aphobes who spent years harassing and attacking and traumatizing aspec people on this site are still here, with friends and tons of followers, like nothing ever happened. They'll claim they're no longer "terminally online" about aspec identities, mocking themselves for "caring too much" instead of actually doing anything to make amends for the literal hate crimes they committed. They'll fucking downplay and make light of the Literal Hate Crimes they spent years committing because now it's no longer socially acceptable to stalk and sexually harass people over being aspec.

Anyways, block foulserpent, then known as snakegay. Do not let these fucking people get away with this shit and pretend it never happened.

Edit: Oh and how the fuck could I forget all their ableism towards autistic people???? These fuckers were claiming that "aspec" was a shortened version of "autistic spectrum" and that you were ableist if you used it to refer to the "disgustingly pedophilic fake identity" of being aspec.

Even though literally too many gods damned people to count, including me and my twin and literally too mnay people to count, who were aspec, who used the term aspec, were also literally autistic and told these people over and over again that that's literally not true, stop fucking speaking for autistic people (because, to be crystal fucking clear, no one making this aphobic claim was autistic. It was literally just allistic people infantilizing us and not only speaking for us, but beating us down when we contradicted them!).

Literally the most ableist fucking post I've ever seen on this site that claimed to support autistic people was written by an ableist as shit fucking aphobe who was. Gods even just remembering this fucking post is so fucking infuriating. Everything about it was so fucking infantilizing and ableist. They claimed that aspec people using the term aspec was, and I paraphrase from memory, "trapping autistic people in your posts like nets, unable to understand why everyone is hating on them".

Like. Literally. So much of this fucking hate spree was ableist it's fucking absurd. Allistic people really just fucking hate autistic people and try to use us as a bludgeon //against ourselves// whenever they think they can get away with it. And let's not forget that if you were openly autistic and proud to be aspec, they'd then come in and claim you were faking being autistic (the same way they'd claim you were faking being black or brown or trans or gay) to invade the community and "steal resources from real LGBT people".

And two days later, I got a note directly from my personal blog that from my activity preview seems to have been from someone unfamiliar with this entire sphere of discourse.

I saw the note the day after they left it, and there were so many "this really happened?"-style comments that I couldn't easily find their note in my activity.

This has gone from normal, to unheard-of, and back to normal again, at least insofar as young aces coming into our community don't know what we all fought through to make a space for you to feel safe in.

And like I remeber this one post that went around that in retrospect I pray wasn't true, where someone was talking about how they were the president of their college's lgbt+ support club and one day someone who was a cis heteroromantic asexual showed up and they had to pull them outside and tell them they weren't queer and weren't welcome at the club. And like god that post fucking haunts me. Can you imagine being that cruel? The OP was fully painting themselves as a wise community leader who was correcting this misguided straight person and people were fucking patting them on the back for it and talking about how they were so proud of OP for protecting the real queer people from straights like that who want to invade our spaces and steal our resources.

I really, really hope that post was fake because I have spent so much time thinking about that ace person and worrying about them, wishing I could find them and tell them that OP was wrong and cruel and they belonged in that group.

And god forbid you HC a character as ace, that shit was a one way ticket to getting harassed and labeled a homophobe. And that shit hasn't even completely gone away, it wasn't that long ago that people in the MP100 fandom were just being openly and unapologetically aphobic because they didn't like ace Reigen HCs.

I also remember at least one prominent queer youtuber legit saying in a video that they didn't think there was anything queer about being asexual. That shit hurt because I really looked up to that creator, and tbf they have changed, but like that was just par for the course back then. You never knew if another queer person was safe or if they were going to turn out to think ace and aro people were special snowflakes who just wanted to pretend they were queer for funsies and thus should be unpersoned.

And Thomas Sanders basically had his entire internet presence nuked just for saying he thought ace and aro people were queer. Siding with aspecs was legit social suicide back then.

This shit also absolutely went hand in hand with transmedicalism, biphobia, and basically any movement that sought to separate queer people. TERFs have openly admitted that ace discourse was a recruitment tactic, because once they got you to believe one group of queer people was the enemy it was much easier to convince you to hate others. Aspec exclusionism and biphobia were the gateway ideologies, and tbh in some places they still are, that's why it's so important to recognize that TERF rhetoric is more than just hating trans people, they are smart enough when recruiting other queer people to not start with the transphobia.

And god the ace/aro exclusionist stuff really did go right into biphobic monosexual discourse(you can't use monosexual it lumps queer people in with straight people and besides biphobia isn't real it's just misdirected homophobia) those arguments were just copy + pasted from aspec discourse, and then transmedicalism and on and on to the next group. It's always the same arguments, the only thing that changes is the target. This is why anyone who EVER uses the argument that a certain type of bigotry is just a different type that's been misdirected is instantly sus to me. It's always an exclusionist dogwhistle used to try to deny whatever queer person is the enemy of the week a seat at the table.

iirc thomas sanders was accused of being a pedophile during ace discourse, notably bc he posted a spicy drawing a minor had made of him (and then deleted the post and apologized). people kept accusing him for months and he was suddenly Too Cringe

2016 in particular was an insane year. my hero academia and yuri on ice fandoms were extremely large, and if you did as much as suggest that a character in those series could be asexual, acephobes dogpiling you was the least that could happen to you

i lost dozens of mutuals to ace discourse and saw whole blogs sink into acephobia, it was horrible to watch. to this day i Still have internalized acephobia despite being asexual myself, to the point i barely ever talk about my experiences as an asexual person. i am Afraid of what kind of jackasses could come out of nowhere and start being dicks again like they were in 2016-17

ps: a lot of acephobic talk points were also used in the (thankfull) short lived pansexual discourse of the early 2020s. and i mean exact carbon copies. i even saw terfs come forward and say they used to be acephobes before falling deeper into the rabbit hole and becoming terfs

Personal discourse anecdote:

I followed an aspec positivity blog in 2015 that would routinely get attacked and harassed so eventually they gave the blog to somebody else and retreated back to their main. I followed them there and realized they were somebody i actually went to high school with. They were a year under me and i never talked to them in person about it bc who wants a stranger coming up to you asking about your tumblr blog.

Anyways over the course of a year i watched them fall into being an ace exclusionist, just as vile as all the rest of them. I unfollowed obvi but i would see them all the time going after mutuals and saying nasty things in aspec tags. I remember them harassing ppl with hivliving if that tells you anything. It was horrible to see somebody who spent time defending us fall like that.

After i graduated i saw that they were made my ex high schools gsa president. They would make snide posts abt it from time to time but eventually they made a post that was basically “some acey came up to me and asked what we were doing for ace week or whatever. I just laughed in their face, why would we do anything for virgin week?” A friend of mine who used to know them screenshotted all of their ani ace posts and reported them to the high school. They then got kicked out of the gsa. They were sooooo mad too, blamed all the butthurt cringe aceys bc they didn’t actually kno who had reported them lol

The faculty advisor for this club has been at this university for 15, 20 years or so? So I get to hear stories from them about what it was like at my university in the 2000s and 2010s. Aspec folks regularly would ask in hushed voices whether or not they were welcome at this club for over a decade, because they were not allowed in a lot of queer spaces and people didn't consider aspec identities 'queer enough'.

If your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

Describe your character’s current relationship with the player character sitting to your right.

What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence?

Does your character ever want to “settle down” with a spouse, children, house, etc.?

Has your character ever been in love?

What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character?

If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead?

What is your character’s favorite season?

What would your character’s Zodiac sign be, following stereotypical astrology?

Where in the world does your character most want to visit?

What is the biggest mistake your character has ever made?

Does your character have any noticeable scars? If so, what are their stories?

What animal best represents your character?

If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be?

Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with?

Does your character regret any particular choice the party has made?

What would your character say their best trait would be?

What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational?

What is currently motivating your character to stay with the party?

What are your character’s hobbies and interests outside of their class?

What would most people think when they first see your character?

What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?)

What is your character the most insecure about?

What person does your character admire most?

What does your character admire and dislike the most about the player character sitting to your left?

Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)?

What would be your character’s theme song/favorite band/favorite genre of music?

What stereotypical role would your character play in a high school AU/if they attended a normal high school? (Nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc.)

What treasure/item/artifact that your character has collected during the adventure is the most important to them?

Is there any particular weapon, item, etc. that your character longs to find?

Where does your character feel the most at home?

Does your character care about how they’re perceived by others? How do they change themselves to fit in with other people?

What does your character think is the true meaning of life?

What is your character’s scent? (Bonus points for a description that sounds like it could be from a bad [or awesome] fanfic.)

Does your character think more with their heart or their brain?

What is your character’s most recent or frequent nightmare?

What opinion does your character have on [CERTAIN ESTABLISHED GROUPS/AUTHORITIES IN THE GAME WORLD]? (Dragonmarked Houses, royal crown, etc.)

How did your character spend their childhood? Where did they grow up/who were their childhood friends?

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

What colors are associated with your character?

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

Does your character value their own best interest more than the party’s?

What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group?

How does your character imagine the way they will die?

What is your character’s greatest achievement?

Is your character willing to risk the well-being of others in order to achieve their goal?

What is your character’s opinion on killing others?

What is your character’s favorite food? Beverage?

How generous is your character? Especially to those they don’t know?

What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party?

The player character to your left and the player character to your right are both telling your character two different versions of the truth. Who does your character believe?

What is your character’s sexuality/relationship with sex?

What is your character’s biggest pet peeve?

Describe how your character feels about the party’s current situation/objective/etc.

Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret?

If your character knew that they were going to die in a month, how would they spend the rest of their life?

What makes your character feel safe?

If your character had the chance to rename the party/give the party a name, no questions asked, what would it be?

What memory does your character want to forget the most?

If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so?

What television/book/video game/etc. character would your character be best friends with? (Or: what media character is your character the most influenced by/similar to?

What unusual talents does your character possess?

How does your character feel about receiving/giving orders? Are they more of a leader, or a follower?

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

Is your character more of an introvert, or an extrovert?

How far is your character willing to go to pursue the “greater good”? Do they believe in a greater good at all?

What does your character want to be remembered by?

What would be your character’s major in college?

Does your character consider themselves a hero, villain, or something else?

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

Where does your character see themselves in 20 years?

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

Who is your character’s biggest rival?

What is your character’s guiltiest pleasure?

What does your character hope for the afterlife?

Who in the party does your character trust the least?

What is your character’s biggest flaw?

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

What is your character’s favorite school of magic/type of weaponry?

What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness?

What advice would your character give to a younger version of themselves?

Are there any social or political issues your character feels strongly about?

What, currently, is your character the most curious about?

1: The dragon is absolutely horrified as the mint engulfs and takes over its den. Its gold? Mint. Its gems and goblets? Mint. Its stores of wine? Mint. No matter what they do they can’t get rid of it.