But Wait... Oh There’s No More

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

ay yo show ur husband 

And in their guest room is a door.

And my first thought was closet. Just an ordinary, tiny, New England closet.

But no!

There are STAIRS in that closet!

Now where do those stairs go, you may ask?

Up to the black void attic of course.

But you know, it doesn’t seem to end there.

Because for reasons no one seems to know, this door deadbolts from inside. There’s nothing but a black void up there. Why must it lock on that side of it???

Of course, it was then that I spotted something else.

Why yes, those ARE scratch marks on the inside of the door. Which, one might think dog because they’re so low on the door (only a third of the way up).

But you know, this wouldn’t be fun if that was all there was.

That deadbolt has scratches all around it too.

Funzies!

Because guess what.

That deadbolt is five feet off the ground. And there is no dog in this house tall enough to reach it.

We have the child of a mermaid queen and a regular human guy 

who was brought up in the human world as a free spirit,

who talks to sea creatures,

who is fated to take over the throne of an underwater kingdom (where all the buildings are round and mushroom-y)

which is currently being occupied by an evil, power-hungry relative

with an army of sharks

And their unique position, straddling the human world and the underwater world, is at first a burden but ends up being their greatest strength