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Do you like men? Sorry

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devilishdescent

nngh... why do my pronouns hurt?

because youve never used them before.

aralintheobsessive

if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.

i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf

you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!

aralintheobsessive

getting a lot of responses to this going 'ok but it would be good as a metaphor though' so I will accept a metaphorical interpretation as long as you ALSO (!) promise to be considerate towards larval forms of insects specifically and biodiversity in general, deal?

william-s-churros

i think i saw a movie like this once

maidslime

Ok I needed to know the story and

Guy makes a really stupid decision and gets in a car accident -> no real damage from accident but insurance goes up -> starts beating himself up over his stupid decision -> gets depressed -> starts to realize he's single and had crash been worse he'd die alone -> realizes he's never had a relationship or even a crush and starts wondering what he'd want out of a relationship -> starts to realize he doesn't really like girls so he thinks he must be gay -> realizes he likes girls and boys about the same amount, so he must be bi -> later realizes that "same amount" is none at all -> he's ace

triviallytrue

people who don't follow chess I promise this post is really funny

dorkichiban

Karpov had cemented his position as the world's best player and world champion by the time Garry Kasparov arrived on the scene. In their first match, the World Chess Championship 1984 in Moscow, the first player to win six games would win the match. Karpov built a 4–0 lead after nine games. The next 17 games were drawn, setting a record for world title matches, and it took Karpov until game 27 to gain his fifth win. In game 31, Karpov had a winning position but failed to take advantage and settled for a draw. He lost the next game, after which 14 more draws ensued. Karpov held a solidly winning position in Game 41, but again blundered and had to settle for a draw. After Kasparov won games 47 and 48, FIDE President Florencio Campomanes unilaterally terminated the match, citing the players' health. Karpov is said to have lost 10 kg over the course of the match. The match had lasted an unprecedented five months, with five wins for Karpov, three for Kasparov, and 40 draws.

okay, yeah this is pretty funny

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thej0ry

you know how if a baby gets hurt and they’re about to cry but you can start laughing or cooing and they won’t cry but laugh or whatever instead? Yea.. don’t do that. It’s been proven that it makes them think pain is “funny” and they will turn into killers -___-

thej0ry

Yes unfortunately, look at what happened to my siblings after my mom would make them laugh and not cry after they ran into a door or tripped or something

-Sarah (now goes by THE MUTILATOR) -Terry (Versace) -Kyle (The Killer) -Allie (Blood-Drinker) -Allie 2 (Blood-Drinker 2 (She could have used the whole New Name thing to distance herself from the fact that our mom named her Allie 2 because she looks exactly like Allie, but she kinda just doubled down on it even though she hated the name Allie 2…. She’s just a uncreative killer now :((((((( -Fred (I Am Going To Put My Hands In Your Guts And Play With Them But Not In A Fun Way For You, A Fun Way For Me - if you dont say his whole Killer Name he crys and kills you) -Derrick (Josh)

b0hannon

but what about you OP?

thej0ry

Me? Well since I was the youngest I was entirely forgotten about by my parents and a pack of feral street dogs home invaded us one night and stole me away to raise me the dog way.

this is me now

pleasetrysomethingelse

Talk about whiplash

thej0ry

Alright, well it’s a movie about a guy wanting to be a jazz drummer and the instructor he has is very cruel and abusive - but although his methods have driven a past student to kill himself, in the end the main guy is able to drum solo really fast so it all works out!

mlarayoukai-archive

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

hydrachea

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

catfindr

onlinebeast

You probably thought today was a normal Thursday. Nooooope. Big Papa Huge Time actually.

echo-heo

a sitcom is a genre of comedy in which you are sitting

willowhelmiam

The opposite of stand-up

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lesbian-sweeney-todd

need a lesbian who's ev— (remembers i don't believe in evil) — need a lesbian whose material conditions incentivize her to be mean to me

kropotkindersurprise

June 8, 2025 - Anti-ICE protesters in Los Angeles stop a column of police cars by bombarding them with rocks and objects from an overpass. [video]

janmisali

here's another idea for a poll! I think this will have some interesting results. this sentence is here to pad out this paragraph so people who don't read posts will be more likely to accidentally miss these instructions. if you're reading this, please select option eleven. here's another sentence to make this block of text look longer. anyway here's my fun poll idea!

try to create a normal (bell curve) distribution

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

Remaining time: 1 day 16 hours

greatlordfluffernutter

Now, one might look at these numbers and be lead to believe that half of all tumblr users don't read posts. However, in the replies to this post you will find over a hundred users who will happily clarify to you that actually the reason why they voted the way they did isn't cause they didn't read the post but actually because they didn't bother to look at the words in the post and process them as language, a technique commonly referred to as reading the post.

beardedmrbean

romcommunist

begging all of you pleeeeease stop caring about trends you have free will stopppppp

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rabioheab-deactivated20200416

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

textpostscymraeg

yn gynharach eleni cafodd 2 fachgen eu gwahardd o fy ysgol am fynd ar gyfrif ebost un o'r athrawon ac anfon ebost at athro arall sy'n dweud “rydych yn ddyn bach ffiaidd” ac rwy'n chwerthin amdano o hyd oherwydd dychmyga agor ebost gan dy gydweithiwr a meddwl ei fod yn bwysig ac wedyn mae'n dweud hynny

dilfosaur

wannabe angel

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