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the bird that kills you

how much does the aurora borealis weigh

it's pretty light

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Rolled up the living room rug to clean my apartment/make dinner on roller skates because I suddenly remembered that I’m an adult with free will…..Life is beautiful

my betrothed just got home…..it’s always Why we’re you using kitchen knives on skates don’t do that again and never How was rollercooking did you have fun rollercooking

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

This is your regularly scheduled reminder that "Life finds a way" is about the dinosaurs becoming transgender

It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again

there was a cloud shaped like bart simpson in 1852 and nobody recognized it

there was a cloud shaped like lois griffin in 1344 china and everyone recognized her immediately

Come to the library. We will laminate your penis for free.

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking