Tubby Custard

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

my brain is deteriiooioutaing i can hear it

potato battery? no. potato usually fried by itself. potato starchy enough to go in oil without batter

Potato battery? no, it only threatened you, which is assault

yes. good. fried potato taste very good with a salt

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

fascinating that this is getting attention right now. im sorry to everyone who relates. hoping and praying for body modification magic for us all.

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

murder suicide is awesome to me bc its like annnnnd im coming with you

There's lots of problems with USA public education but also a lot of you were just drawing Naruto characters kissing while your history teacher tried to tell you about the Scramble for Africa

They should make an anime about major history events actually. That way people could still ship the characters and be forced into accidentally learning things

the way tumblr users work I have no idea if the "shut up shut up shut up" is because it's a tone-deaf reply or because you know what Hetalia is and what it did to tumblr back in the day

Sweets and treats are all the nutrients a princess needs