Wasting My Time

The joke here is that the Swedish term for “student” is “jagharenklockaförettansikte,” which depending on pronunciation can also mean, “I have a clock for a head.”

Fire At Will

what I wanna see more in media r painfully average people being lgbt, let the 40 year old school janitor be trans, let the grandpa who just sits on his porch be bi, let the girl who's on her way to an office job be lesbian, let the guy who's at the same bus stop everyday be nonbinary, and so on and so forth, idk I don't know why people always expect lgbt ppl to be this alt fashion teen/young adult and stuff when sometimes it's literally just some guy

I died, point blank, shot through the heart, dead as a nail. The dream didn’t stop though, I didn’t wake up or anything. It just kept going on without me.

shot through the heart, dead as a nail, darlin’, you give dreams a bad name

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

The concept of a “favorite color” is so funny

im really trying not to be mean because this is a harmless thing to do and looks like it takes skills but im so so so baffled at the twitter artist who shrinks real people to have gnomelike proportions

please drink water thers a little fish in you and you’re killing her

“you have to work to live” bro food is literally free until someone builds a fence around it and guards it with weapons. work is a contrivance and unnatural. 

hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right

It’s “Smiling Girl, a Courtesan, Holding an Obscene Image” by Gerard van Honthorst!!

OKAY— so i LOVE this painting, it’s in the St. Louis Art Museum, and on a tour i found out the story. it’s not a naked dude, at all. It’s actually a smaller depiction of her, she’s a sex worker! She’s showing off her advertising for her services. It’s a really cool historical example of sex work, and a gorgeous painting to see in person.