She Called Me an Enigma

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

"a viscous murder" yeah i don't want to know what that could look like

it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

oh sick someone paved this whole road with good intentions. i wonder where it leads

don’t abandon joy because it is brief. don’t commit to solitude because happiness is fleeting. it’s okay that good things do not last forever. it’s okay to simply enjoy a thing for as long as you have it.

every time a streamer says gooner it takes years off my life

it's like. people started to realize maybe they shouldn't say shit like degenerate or porn addict and decided they were gonna use a new word to mean the exact same thing but dressed up as a funny meme this time

People are like “it’s so beautiful no clouds at all” it could use a little clouds if I had to be honest.

Somehow being a person does not come naturally to me

i'm sorry i never did your tag game. i love you

I'd leave. This is a sign that my opponent has the most fucked up unethical spells imaginable, and I am not about to be subject to Malchezar's Piercing Prostate Bomb or something