you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands
op how does it feel to be the most correct person on earth
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you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands
op how does it feel to be the most correct person on earth

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Kidnapper: Bruce Wayne?
Bruce: Yes?
Kidnapper: We have your son.
Bruce: *counting his children, and puts his phone on speaker* Uh what?
Kidnapper: The mean sassy one! He called us all fruitloops, he made fun of my tattoos, and he made Dave cry!
Dave: He made fun of my teeth. Its not my fault I can't afford a dentist! Healthcare is expensive!
Danny: Yeah well it smells like you also can't afford toothpaste either!
Dave: *sobs* Stop!
Kidnapper: Please, just come get him! We don't even want money anymore!
Danny: If you don't give them the money they want, at least bring a tube of toothpaste, maybe some toothbrushes, and some mouth wash if possible!
Dave: Pleeeheese take him away!*sobs harder*
Bruce: I'm sorry(?) to tell you, but thats not my son, all my son's are at the table with me.
Kidnapper: So we went through this for nothing?!
Danny: HA! Morons!
Kidnapper: Stop it! Can you take him anyway? Please, we just want him gone!
Bruce: Can't you just untie him and let him go?
Kidnapper: We did! He just sat back down and continued roasting us! And we can't just leave him here!
Danny: *snorts* Yeah, because this is Travis' mom's storage unit. By the way Travis, your mom was hot when she was in her twenties.
Travis: Shut up! And stop looking through my mom's photo albums!
Danny: Dang, your dad was hot too! How can you have two hot parents and still look like Chuck e Cheese got hit by a thirteen wheeler?
Kidnapper: Please? You don't even have to come yourself, just send Batman. Please?
Bruce: I'll...see what I can do?
Kidnapper: Oh thank you! Thank you so much!
Travis: Is he coming to get him?
Kidnapper: No he's sending Batman!
Dave: I don't care if we get beaten up! Anything is better than being tormented by this guy!
Danny: Cool tell Batman to pick me up some Tacos on his way over.
Kidnapper: *hangs up*
Bruce: Tell me I'm not the only one that heard all that.
Steph: *doubled over weezing* Can-Can he keep him?
Jason: *cackling* I'm with Steph on this one!
Dick: I don't know, he sounded super cute.
Tim: So we going to go save them or not?
Bruce: *sighs* Let's go.
Tim: Are we getting him Tacos-
Jason: Hah~ *finally stops laughing* Yes we are getting him Tacos.
Iris: Barry! Barry wake up!
Barry: hm-Wha?
Iris: Someone is in our house!
Barry: Is it Wally?
Iris: No, he's still on that space mission.
Barry: Okay. Stay here. I'll go check it out. *Picks up bat* If you hear me shout Code 16 use our home invasion plan delta.
Iris: Okay.
Barry walking through the dark house until he sees a light in the kitchen: AH-HA!
Danny eating out of the open fridge: Hmm-whaa!?
Barry: Wait a minute, you're just a kid. What are you doing?
Danny: I'm sorry! I was hungry! I didn't know anyone was home, but I swear I didn't mean any harm!
Barry: I see. How long has it been since you last had food?
Danny: I don't know.
Barry: Really?
Danny sniffing: I'll leave, I'm sorry. Please don't call the cops.
Barry putting the bat down: Leaving before my one am meal? You can't! Stay, I could use the company.
Danny: ....one am meal?
Barry: Yeah, I can whip us up some pizzas. *turning to yell* IRIS, IT'S ALL GOOD. GO BACK TO BED. I'M GOING TO EAT
Iris: OKAY! ENJOY!
Danny: Um?
Barry: I have pepperoni, sausage or plain cheese. Which do you prefer?
Danny: Wait. Are you really going to make me pizza?
Barry: Well, it's frozen pizza. It takes about 15 minutes in my toaster oven, but trust me, it's the best brand. My nephew swears by it. My name is Barry, by the way, what's yours?
Danny: I...Ugh I'm Danny.
Barry: Nice to meet you Danny. You want to crash here after we eat?
Danny: What?
Barry: Spend the night here. A nap after eating always feels best.
Danny: ....what?
A few hours later Barry slipping back into bed: Iris.
Iris: Hmm?
Barry: I've adopted a son. His name is Danny. He's fifteen, meta, and running from his parents. Sweet thing. He took over the guest room, so now when we have guests stay over, they have to sleep on the pull-out couch.
Iris half alseep: Sounds good. Does he have your eyes?
Barry: Yeah surprisingly he does. I tucked him into bed.
Iris: That's nice.
Danny two walls away dressed in Wally' pjs, with a full stomch and freshly showered: How...how did he convince me to be adopted in only one hour???? Is he a witch?????
Some time in the future JL has been razzing Batman about his adoption problem, and a Green Lantern (Hal probably) notices that Barry never joins in on it. At first people just dismiss it as Barry just being nice, but he is perfectly willing to joke about other things so it eventually becomes noticeable. Green Lantern eventually asks (harasses) him about it and Barry: sighs shaking his head "I do try to avoid being a hypocrite whenever possible." GL: "I mean yeah, you took care of Wally, and have adopted Bart, but adopting abused and time displaced relatives is just not the same thing as old Spooky is doing." Batman chuffs softly but doesn't make a statement . Batman knows Barry's family make up because he helps fund the Justice League and subsidizes the hero's household budgets as needed. Barry: Rolls his eyes "Yeah I have Wally and Bart, I also have Danny, Jazz, Dani, Dan, and occasionally Sam and Tucker who I didn't actually adopt but come with the Danny package." GL: "Danny, Dani, and Dan? Why do I feel like there is a story there?" Barry: "Probably because there is." *several seconds of uncomfortable silence with GL just stairing at Barry. "Fine." *Barry throws up his hands.* "Danny was sneaking into houses, he though were empty, to eat food after his parents attacked him and chased him out of his home town when they found out he was a meta. Even though the lab accident where he got his powers was their own damn fault! Like the crackpot mad scientists they are." Barry muttered the last darkly before in true Flash fashion lightening up. "Jazz is Danny's older sister, who was also impacted by their parents "work" if not as severely, and followed Danny after laying a false trail thoughout the lower 48 states and Mexico." The JL shares some looks around at that, that is some extensive false trail laying for being kicked out for being a meta. Barry: Dani, that is Dani with an "i", is an imperfect clone of Danny made by his super villain Godfather when Danny refused to be his evil minion, she eventually also turned against him and was taken in by Danny." Wonderwoman nodded: "So of course you took her in, I would expect nothing less of you Flash." Barry: *blushed* "Well, she actually happen about six months before I found Danny riffling though my fridge like a particularly tall and dexterous raccoon. He had spent around a year and change after his lab accident as a small town vigilantly before his parents found out about his meta status and forced him to go on the run." GL: "And Dan?" he asked with some trepidation. Barry: "Reformed evil alternate Danny, from a future timeline that can never now happen, that has had his spirit put into an other wise empty Danny clone." GL: *Faintly* "So he had the full superhero *experience* before you even met him then?" Barry: *Nodding* "Yeah, pretty much."
Step texting the Bat-Sib group chat: You won't believe what I am witnessing from the best seat in the house! I'm talking about the VIP seat of gossip! Dick: OH! Gossip! Dish it out, girl~ Tim: I have a meeting in ten minutes. If the tea is good enough, I will delay it. Jason: This better be good. Duke: Yes! I was bored. Tell me everything~ . Cass: What did you witness? Damian: Stop texting me. I'm in school. Steph: Put that degree on hold, Damian. You're going to love this. I'm at Thompikins Clinic with Bruce, who got hit by a car! Damian: What!? Is Father alright!? Steph: Yeah, I wasn't going that fast. Jason: HA! Dick: I thought we all agreed not to leave our keys out in the open for her to take? Steph: As if lack of keys can stop me. Anyway, the real reason I texted was that there is a new nurse working at Thompikins Clinic. Bruce got tongue-tied when he walked in! Tim: No way? Brucie Wayne, getting toungue-tied? Yeah I'm delaying this meeting. Steph: I think there is a history there. Do any of you know this guy? *send photo* Dick: Never seen him Jason: No Tim: Nope Duke: Negitive Cass: I have no knowlege of this man Damian: That's Daniel Fenton. He was Father's first pregency scare back when the world didn't have enough information on ecto-beings. Thankfully, Fenton was not carrying Father's child, and he left Father about three years before Richard came to live at the Manor. Steph: Why do you know this? Damian: My Mother considers him the biggest challenger for Father's affections. Tim: So Fenton is a ecto-being? Damian: Half of one, yes. Jason: Wait, is this the guy that Bruce has a shrine built for in the fifth floor? The one by the chocolate vault? Cass: Yes. Bruce goes in there to cry and eat five pounds of chocolate every month on the full moon. Duke: That's where he goes on full moons? I just thought he was a werewolf. Damian: You thought father was a werewolf? Duke: Yeah, I mean, most people think he's a vampire, but I thought that was too cliche. Steph: GUYS! GUYS! Bruce kissed his knuckles. Just grabbed his hand and brought it up to his mouth! And the guy LIKED it! Look *Sends picture* Dick: WE'RE GETTING A STEP DAD! Jason: Not if Bruce messes it up like he always does. Tim: You're right. We should help him. Can everyone go to the clinic now? Cass: I was already on route. Steph: HA! Cause Bruce is that bad at love? Cass: No because you hit him with a car. Steph: Yeah, that's fair.
Danny Fenton sends Superman a fan email in which he asks for advice. In it he says he is also a non-human hero (he is vague because being a ghost is illegal) Danny mentions that he is being raised by humans. His parents don't know about his activities or species and hate his kind.
Danny was mostly looking for advice on how to make people stop being scared of his non-human characteristics. But Clark really sees himself in this teenager's email. He knows he was lucky to get parents who loved him even as an alien, but he also recalls being young and scared that would change.
So they start regularly exchanging emails, and Superman becomes a kind of mentor even if Danny refuses to tell him anything about his identity.
Clark was embarrassed to admit it, but the first thing he did every morning was usually to check the inbox of his official Superman email. He tried not to check it too often, but in the morning, reading those emails reminded him why he did what he did. Why it was so important to keep treating each civilian with such compassion, and not allow himself to become preoccupied with other things while he worked.
There were at least half a dozen emails every morning, more after major events, and he read them all. Occasionally, one stood out.
To Superman,
I wanted to tell you that I really admire you for what you do. I'm fifteen now and you've been a pillar of safety for as long as I can remember, and I can't imagine how much dedication it takes day-to-day, especially for as long as you've been a hero. I hear stories all the time about how considerate you are, and how understanding, and how unconditional your compassion is. It's something I try to keep in mind.
You haven't saved me. Not personally, I mean, and that's not why I decided to email you. I actually wanted to ask you for some advice, if that's okay.
Clark was ready for one of the more off-putting alien species. He was ready for something he'd never heard of before. He thought even some sort of time-traveling incident that resulted in more Martians would have been less surprising than this.
He'd combed through new federal legislation from the past two months. Danny had mentioned the ban as though it had just happened, but Clark would look back further if he needed to. He had no idea what he'd do if it was a state law; he knew Danny was in the Central Time Zone and almost certainly in the US, but he couldn't pinpoint it more clearly than that.
So yes, he'd prepared himself for some sort of Eldritch horror folded into human skin or violent race that was famed for massacres that Danny himself wasn't carrying out.
Clark had not prepared himself for ghosts.
It wasn't the first time Lois and Clark had done undercover work. Lois in particular was a widely-known reporter of corporate crimes and human rights violations, so the people who indulged in those sorts of activities often knew her name. Clark wasn't as well-known, but he wasn't unrecognizable either. They went to Elmerton as Lois Lane and Clark Kent, and headed for Amity Park as Lucy and Clark Taylor.
Their rented vehicle was stopped not far past the billboard that read 'Amity Park: A Nice Place To Live!'
"Names," barked the agent, a brown-haired man with sunglasses that hid many of his defining features.
@liketolaugh-writes Tag, you're it.
Clark does the social math quickly and doesn't see how them staying will do anything but escalate the situation. It's not like he can't just listen in on the whole thing anyway and have them back here in seconds if they need to interfere.
"We'll be in the area for a few days," he says through a tight smile as he stands. "In case we have any more questions."
"Feel free to reach out if you have any thoughts to share," Lois adds, standing and leaning over to hand Danny a business card. She does not hand one to Maddie, and from the narrowed eyes, the woman notices. "Or if you need any other kind of advice."
"We figured out that there was an information blockade a few weeks after the Anti-Ecto Act passed," Danny told them, settling by the park bench where they were supposed to meet Danny's friends. "How'd you get through?"
Danny's other form was interesting, and frankly, a lot less off-putting than Clark had been prepared for. He sat cross-legged in the air, more casual in his defiance of gravity than Clark was, and his glacial white hair drifted slightly, as if he were underwater. He gave off a faint glow, which cast his features into stark relief, with none of the usual shadows. His eyes were a vivid radiation green. The only thing Clark found disconcerting was that he had no heartbeat at all.
Clark felt strongly that the hunters who were so afraid of him needed to get a grip.
Danny shifted uncomfortably and looked away, “sure.”
Clark sighed, “Danny, I know you might not believe me, but I have the wonderful Lois Lane right here with me and as soon as I tell them, the Justice League will stand with us and help us get these laws handled.”
“There is a reason Lois Lane is an award winning journalist,” Jazz adds, her arms crossed as she looks at the two adults. “Helping them out with this would be a good first step to help you with your other concerns.”
Danny stared at her a moment, only nodding in agreement when Tucker nudged him. “Come on, dude! Besides, Whats the worst that could happen?”
“they get put on a hit list by the GIW,” Sam and Danny deadpan at the exact same time.
Lois pulled out her well-loved notepad and started jotting down the cliffnotes of their conversation so far while Clark carefully checked their surroundings, making sure that the GIW and the Fentons were nowhere to be found.
Caught up, she looked back to the kids. "Alright, if we're going to do this, we need facts about ghosts. REAL facts that we can use as evidence against the GIW's claims."
The quartet exchanged looks, a silent debate between them causing expressions to shift and pinch and eyes to roll. Eventually, Danny let out a drawn out sigh, rubbing his face as he seemed to take a moment to collect himself, nodding. "Fine, I guess that makes sense. What do you need to know?"
"Let's start with the elephant in the room. There's ghost attacks, but can you tell me WHY? The main reason the GIW are able to fear monger is because of the supposed ghost-led destruction of the town, but if we can figure out what's causing the attacks, we can look for a way to redirect and mitigate them."
"O-oh um," Caught off guard by the blunt question, he blinked before clearing his throat. "It's sorta... my fault? I mean-" He winced.
"What Danny's trying to say is that after the portal opened with his accident, this place became a beacon for the minority of ghosts that happen to be trouble makers." Jazz took over, resting a hand on her younger brother's shoulder. "They come over to try and fulfil their Obsessions, which is basically is what gives them a reason to exist at all. They just- don't really understand how fragile the Living Realm is in comparison to the Infinite Realms, or the Ghost Zone, as our parents call it. So when they try to do something like, make themselves a famous singer or try to provide a balanced diet for high school students, they tend to get... overzealous."
"There's sometimes a LOT of collateral, like when Technus tries to take over the world." Tucker grumbled, glancing down at his- was that a PDA?
"Technus?" Clark raised an eyebrow.
"He's the ghost of a electronics genius, his thing is tech, like literally ANYTHING tech, and he's mostly Obsessed with showing off and trying to prove he's the best at it. Danny accidentally gave him the idea of world domination when we first encountered Technus because at the time that's what we thought all the ghosts wanted. It was pretty early days at the time." Sam explained, making Danny blush green from embarassment.
"I see... so I'm guessing he messes around with tech and that's what the collateral is?" Lois, still jotting things down, predicted as she looked up at the teens.
Sam nodded with a sour expression. "Pretty much, he possesses tech and then makes a giant robot out of them most of the time, meaning that tech gets destroyed in the fight a lot, warranties are voided, and oftentimes the GIW will confiscate everything to try and study it and they won't compensate their owners. All in all, the ghosts get the blame for very expensive technology being lost and having to be replaced."
Danny grumbled, his hands and fingers flexing like he wanted to pick at something, if only to distract himself. "The adults only care about how much damage there is and how much money it costs to fix and replace things and they keep blaiming ME, when it's usually the GIW and my parents that cause the majority of the damage. I've tried explaining that, but the news is largely controlled and edited by the GIW these days, making me look even worse. Most of what people post online gets scrubbed if it even remotely sheds good light on me."
He shakes his head before continuing. "Anyways, most of the ghost attacks that actually happen these days are done by animal ghosts, which majorally aren't sapient. They're the ones that usually get captured too, so it just adds to the biased data picking. The sapient ghost attacks are mostly targetted at me because... Well, a lot of reasons?" He scrunches his nose up.
"For one, this town is my Haunt, my territory, meaning that them entering it is trespassing and a challenge. Secondly, I'm still considered a 'baby ghost', at least until I've been a ghost longer than I was alive AND I feel mature enough, so they both want to try to bully me out of my Haunt so they can take it over, and they also want to try to teach me to be a ghost, which is very strength based. Except I'm a lot stronger than most of them and I just keep getting stronger. Lastly um..." He hesitated for a moment and glanced at his friends.
Jazz and Tucker gave him encouraging nods but Sam still looked pensive. He nudged her and another silent conversation was held before her shoulders slumped ever so slightly.
Meanwhile the couple watched them patiently while Lois kept writing things down. Eventually Danny breathed out again and grasped Jazz's hand, the ginger giving his hand a squeeze.
"Remember when I emailed you that my town had been kidnapped?"
Clark nodded slowly, a cold ball beginning to form in his gut, already knowing that this would be something heavy.
"Well, that was because of the Ghost King attacking. And I ended up beating him, which is what returned Amity Park back to the Living Realm. Everything was great for a bit after that, but then I found out that because I defeated the Ghost King is trial by combat, it meant that I took..." He trailed off as the ball grew into a frozen boulder in Clark's stomach. "It meant that I took his title as High King, meaning that the ghosts are now all my subjects? At least, once I'm an adult."
Oh boy, this made things a whole lot more messy.

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“Wow,” Bruce tensed at the unexpected voice, “that was, to be polite, an absolute train wreck.”
“That’s the polite descriptor?” Bruce turned to meet blue eyes, “I shudder to imagine the impolite version.”
The room had been empty. He’d made sure of it before allowing Dick to move their… argument. There were no signs of life on this or the next five floors down. Yet, there he was. A beautiful man, too many years his junior for his thoughts to go straight to the man’s looks, sitting on a stool at a workbench.
“Oh, for sure, you definitely don’t want to hear what else I could describe that as.” The man nodded, bringing Bruce’s attention to the jewelry tucked into the man’s shirt and hidden by his hair. “Ignoring all the stuff I clearly shouldn’t have heard,” which meant he did, in fact, notice the Bat-based vocabulary, “you are terrible at communicating with your kids.”
“Oh?” Bruce strained to sound casual, trying not to give away what all he may have not already.
“Oh yeah. Like, clearly you love your kids. Right?” The man waited for acknowledgment, which Bruce begrudgingly gave, before he continued, “right, so, what’s stopping you from saying it? Just a simple, I’m worried about you going on that inter-dimensional mission because I love you and want you to be safe, would work great. Might even get you brownie points, you know? Instead of what you said, which implied a lack of trust and a sense of derision towards your son’s skills, and was never going to be taken well.” Well. That answered well enough what all the pretty man had heard.
“It’s not that easy,” Bruce frowned at him, debating how many NDAs he’d have to threaten the man into signing.
“Sure it is. Just open your mouth and say the words, let them sit there, and don’t take them back.” Blue met and held blue from across the room before the man rolled his eyes, “right, okay, would it help you to think of it as a series of undefined tasks or a science experiment?”
“The latter,” the former sounded like what he’d already been working with.
“Okay, so pull up a stool,” the man twirled a pen as he pulled over a loose sheet of paper, “and we’ll start with the scientific method: if the big bad Bat communicates ineffectively then his children will be upset because they don’t have empathic abilities. What about this sentence can we change to make it better?”
“My ability to communicate,” Bruce admitted.
“Very good,” the man praised and Bruce wondered if he could get away with slamming the man’s head into the table without it being workplace abuse. Probably not. “So, if the Bat communicates effectively, then…?”
“My children won’t be as upset.”
“Because…?”
“They’ll understand what I mean better.”
“Alright, we now have our hypothesis. Next step is the experiment.”
Danny: Hey Jazz!
Jazz: Danny! What are you doing in Gotham?
Danny: Tucker is a finalists for a robotics competition, so he asked me to come with him. We're going to be here all weekend but right now hes at a team meeting so I figure I pop open the tracker I have on you, stop by and see how's college is going for you.
Jazz: That's so sweet! Aw my baby brother loves me.
Danny playfully: Shut up. What are you doing right now? Have time to hang?
Jazz: Sorry I'm on the clock.
Danny: Oh right! You started that nanny job. How's that going?
Jazz: Great! Tim is a darling. He is smart, polite, and really affectionate. I couldn't be happier working for the Drakes!
Danny: Where is the little guy anyway?
Jazz: He's over there watching the Waynes through a window while they have breakfast at a restaurant.
Danny:...what?
Jazz: He REALLY likes his neighbors. And you.
Danny: Me?
Jazz: Yeah don't know why but he got really excited when I told him I was your sister. I think its cause he always wanted a sibling.
Danny: Huh. Well why not call him over so I can say hi. In fact, Ill treat both of you to a breakfast in the same restaurant as the Waynes so he can stare at them from a closer angle
Jazz: Wonderful idea! Hey Tim! Come here please. My brother wants to meet you
Tim turning away from the glass:
Danny: He's an excited little thing isn't he?
Jazz: Yeah you get used to it. You should have seen him at the heros con. He almost foamed at the mouth when we found a Phantom cosplayer.
This is the most amazing thing I have ever read and I love it...
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#from a fic i never wrote#Tim is a HUGE fan of heroes#Guess who's id he knows#Jazz doesnt realize its odd behavior because she grew up a Fenton#The fentons play “Hide the tracker” and dont blink when they miss one#Danny unknowingly meets a Phantom Fan#Jazz takes him on stalking trips
Ah yes, just what Tim needs. Validation of his stalking tendencies. By the time he starts up as Robin he is going to be so much better than in canon... Let's be real, Jazz and Danny both would offer him training. Plus all the accidental training he'd get by way of Fenton shenanigans™. Timmy is going to be a nightmare Robin from day one.
But for now? He's just little Timmy who is so excited to meet a real life hero!!! And he's the little brother of his nanny!!!! So he can see him more in the future!!! And Jazz is super cool too. She knows lots of things! And she gives him fun puzzles and brain teasers and let's him watch Batman and Robin!!! She even puts trackers on him to keep him safe!! (He's never felt so protected in his life)
just thought of a fun new comics OC named Stella the Postal Worker. She is a completely normal human woman who just happens to do insane things on the regular in order to get superheros their mail. She broke into the fortress of solitude to make sure superman knew he had jury duty but now she has a key 💖
stella rides with Impulse to tell flash to just pay the 20 bucks he owes to the library. Stella has a grappling hook so she can shove off a bag of fan/hate mail to batman and when he's like. dare I ask how much of it is...explicit she's like. dude I don't read your mail, man. that's your job. While they're both suspended 1000 feet over Gotham
she does not know any of their secret identities she is determined to get mail specifically assigned to the super persona. occasionally one of them tries to just tell her their actual home address and she's like NO. you will NOT add to my workload I am hiring a submarine to deliver to Aquaman not joe schmoe!!
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor alien invasion nor batarang nor time travel will stay THIS courier
Red Robin found Batman while he was lost in the time stream by mailing him a letter and hitching a ride with Stella when she delivered it
Reblog if you don't use Generative AI to write fanfics/original fics or to create fanart/original art.
Dani sitting in a booth at a fast place: You see that girl over there? The one in the pony tail?
Danny: Yeah?
Dani: We hate her.
Danny: We do? Why?
Dani: Ugh, she's so annoying. Always talking back to the teachers and making a ten-minute assignment into an hour-long one. Like, we could have 20 minutes of free time afterward, but noooooooo. Also, she has this stupid condescending laugh, like she genuinely believes the staff is beneath her. Honey, please, you can't even drive. Then she makes mean jokes about everyone, like, " Why are you so fucking miserable all the time? Why can't you focus on yourself instead of judging everyone around you literally?
Damian walking by: Are you speaking about Tiffany Anderson?
Dani: Ugh yeah?
Damian brightening up: She is absolutely horrid!
Dani equally as bright: The worst, right?!
Damian: She gives legacy students a bad name. We are from the same social class, but obviously, her parents failed to teach her any class at all.
Dani: Yes! That! I'm Dani, by the way. We have a class together, don't we?
Damian sitting down: We have French, Calculus, World Politics, and Advanced English together. I'm Damian Wayne.
Dani: Nice to meet you. I was just telling my older brother that we hate Tiffany.
Damian: I was telling my own brother we hate Anderson and Lee.
Dani: Ji-Whoo Lee? The Football player?
Damian: Yes
Dani: No way- I hate him too! :D
Damian: Its because you have good taste! *turning* Drake! Come here. We're sitting with these people now.
Tim standing up from a booth and walking over with a tray: Alright. Say, aren't you the new guy in my Chemistry class?
Danny: I am. Good to see you.
Tim: So our siblings are best friends now?
Danny: Seems so, but only due to spite. They seem to he going down the entire class roster. They genuinely seem to hate everyone in their grade.
Tim: These two are going to be best friends for life.
Damian: -There are parts of the world that have KILL for an education and these half-wits can't even speak to a instructor with respect? The bare minimum?
Dani: Exactly! I traveled around the world before we got the Gotham Academy scholarship and let me tell you, none of them would last a second in the real world.
Damian: A second? Ha! Thats far too generous. They would last even less then that!
Danny watching them: I think its cute.
Tim: Hmm-hm. Very cute.
Dani:- where did you get that sticker?
Damian: Hmm? Oh this one?
Dani: Yeah! I can never find Warrior Chronicles merch anywhere!
Damian: Neither can I. That's why I made my own. I draw.
Dani: Wait- you drew that?! No way! Can I buy some stickers off you!?
Damian: You can have them. I'll bring a sticker sheet for you Monday.
Dani: Really!?
Tim, turning to Danny: Looks like we're going to be seeing a lot of each other.
Danny: Seems like it! I hope we can be friends too
Tim looking Danny up and down: Oh I think we are going to be very good friends~
Danny: Ha ha- why did you say it like that?
Tim: Hmm? Like how?
Danny in a whisper: Like you want to eat me. Are you a cannibal? You legally have to tell me.
Tim also in a whisper: Dude I was flirting with you.
Danny: Oh! Sorry, I just- I'm new to Gotham and its Weird here so I-
Tim holding up a hand: I completely understand. But I do have to ask is me flirting welcomed?
Danny blushing: It might be.
Tim: Great cause-
Dani: Hey can you two keep it down? We're trying to have a conversation here. Sorry, Damian, you were saying?
Damian: If we place the bombs at the four pillars we can empty out the cages in the choas. We just need get pass security without them noticing the packages.
Dani: Oh I can get us past security.
Tim/Danny: What the hell did we miss?
Dani/Damian: We're planning to free the petting zoo animals. They've been held captive for too long.
Tim and Danny sharing a look of commiseration.
Tim: I'll cover their bails when they get arrested. Don't worry.
Danny: I'm so glad I'm not the only one seeing it. But don't stress, Dani won't let them get caught. She knows better.
Dani: Yeah! ACAB, we don't let them arrest us ever! Don't worry, I'm really good at not getting caught!
Damian: I am also good at evading capture. Perfect, I have several other locations that hold animals in substandard accommodations.
Dani: And we will save them all. So we have to set up somewhere to keep them first. We need to design the habitats properly, or the animal will suffer.
Danny: Welp, that's going to be a problem for your adults to handle.
Tim: I'll warn B and Alfred we need to buy more land for animals then. As if the pet turkey and cow weren't enough with the dog and cat.
Dani: You have a pet cow!!!!!! Can I meet them?
Damian: Of course. You should accompany us to dinner soon. Then you can meet all of my animals.
Tim: So, Danny, since you're new in town. Want me to take you out and show you the best spots in Gotham? As a date, just to make myself clear.
Danny: Uh, um, yes, that would be cool. I would, yeah, I'd like that.

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"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."
"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."
One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.
Someone who says they don't care if dudes wear dresses and makeup is a better ally than someone who says they're a safe space for women and non-binary people. I am not joking.
yeah I went to a gay bar recently with my husband tumblr user beemovieerotica, and a VERY confused capital S Southerner straight man in cargo shorts and a trucker hat showed up
apparently he (who through my drunken memory I remember only as Earl) liked some woman, and she told him that he wasn't cultured enough and needed to attend his first drag show (she also flaked on him)
Now I'm reasonably androgynous and was wearing makeup, a short leather skirt, and black heeled boots, but still when this guy came up to me when I was standing off alone and asked "So. Do you come here often?" with a very earnest expression, I thought. Surely not. This guy doesn't think I'm a straight woman does he????
Anyway I start talking with this guy and he has no idea what the fuck is going on but he is just a very kind and earnest dude and asked a lot of questions (while asking if it was alright if he asked those questions). I track down my husband and friends and I'm like y'all. We need to make sure that Earl has a Good Fucking Time tonight.
Man was completely out of his depth. At one point they put on a puppy auction to raise money for Pride, that started with a 6 ft drag queen in all her glory leading a leather pup out on a leash to the tune of that damned RSPCA "in the arms of the angels" song
We look at Earl. Nervous. He squints, laughs, and then goes "I was wondering why people were dressed like that!" He turned to me and asked "So they're like dogs?" And I said yeah pretty much. And he just chuckled and went "Yeah I thought so with the tails! Never seen this before!"
When the first drag king came out, Earl looked at me wide eyed and went "There's a dude version too?!" And I said yeah they're called drag kings. And he said, low, "Drag kings."
During one of the queens performances, he frowned, shook his head and told me, "Your legs are better than hers." in a tone that implied he thought there was some travesty taking place and I should also be getting paid
When he found out I was there with my husband (and that I am not a woman) he profusely apologized and said "I'm so sorry, it's dark in here and I thought you were a hot chick! I wouldn't have said nothing if I knew you had a husband, I'm so sorry about that."
When beemovie invited me to the dance floor with him later and I still had a drink in my hand, Earl said "Oh don't worry about that I can hold your drink, you get on out there and shake your ass with your husband!" Then before we left, Earl bought me drinks for "Putting up with me all night and answering everything. Y'all helped me have a great time tonight."
like. You gotta recognize there's going to people who have never had interacted outside of their of their own community. This includes you. And just because your community is familiar with all the right vocabulary and how to correctly say something, it doesn't mean they're actually going to support you. If someone like Earl shows up, confused and out of their depth but kind and curious and earnest, you gotta have patience and truck through the small things, so when he goes back to his friends and his coworkers and they snicker asking how the drag show was, he can genuinely talk about how included we tried to make him feel and that he had a great time
The person matters more than the language
I will fuckin never not reblog this.
I think I've reblogged this before, but it bears repeating.
I think some of the worst damage to leftist causes is done by that specific set of people who claim that they care about marginalised groups and the prejudice they face, but whose principle activism consists of using progressive language to pick fights with people from up on their home-made moral high-horse.
MEXICO WIN!!! FUCK AI!!!
Bruce Wayne's Biggest Hater:
No one in the entire world hates Bruce Wayne more than Danny Fenton. Danny has know the guy for almost a decade now and he can honestly say that everyone in gotham are idiots if they think bruce is an airheaded playboy. The guy is an asshole.
Danny moved to gotham after college and used ghost king money to start up an aerospace engineering firm. Its great. He gets to do work he loves and he is his own boss, which gives him the flexibility needed to still deal with ghost shenanigans. When danny got settled he started up a collection for his favorite show 'Gray Ghost', he'd been introduced to it when his dad got the vhs copies thinking they were haunted. He had loved it ever since and finally he had the money and space to get some ultra rare memorabilia.
Unfortunately, someone always beat him to the punch.
Bruce. Fucking. Wayne.
He found a mint conditon poster? Well guess who bought it hours before for three times the asking price?
He bid on a signed copy of one of the scripts? Well guess who outbid him at auction?
Its always fucking bruce. Danny hates that guy. Honestly seethes at him whenever they are at the same event, which happens more often than he'd like. Sam makes sure that danny attends and donates frequently to charities. Charities that Bruce happens to always support as well. And of course the guy cant resist one upping him there too. Always donating at least double whatever Danny does. The little asshole.
And then Bruce takes in a ward. Danny doesnt think its sweet or anything. Its obviously a ploy or something. Sure the way he clearly dotes on the kid is cute, but he clearly doesnt spend that much time with the kid since the guy still finds time to get to Gray Ghost Merch before Danny can. The little shit.
Meanwhile Bruce is juggling being Batman, Brucie Wayne, and now being a guardian to Dick Grayson. On top of that he has to manage around his crush on the one other truly good philanthropic man in gotham that has the same love of corny detective shows as him. Daniel Fenton is on the forefront of scientific discoveries and always gives away money to the most worthy causes. Bruce has tried to talk to the guy at galas but Daniel seems to hate him. Which. Well. Isnt exactly a turn off.
Alfred has been dealing with this soap opera nonsense for far too long and Dick is starting to suspect that Batman might be an idiot actually.
The question is at what point in the batman timeline do they get together? Does Dick get them together with the help of Alfred?
Or do his attempts fail and when Jason shows up like 8 years later one of the first questions he asks Dick is "is this for fucking real?" And unfortunately yes it is for fucking real.
What about Tim? Tim's been going to galas for years and you know his stalker ass is going to know who Batman has a crush on. If Jason dies in this fic, then would Tim try and rope Danny into stopping Batman from trying to kill himself?
If that doesnt work then what happens when Damian shows up? Like you know that little stabby boy would have no patience for a slow burn that has last almost two decades at this point.
Diana: Anyone noticed Batman acting odd recently?
Hal: Spooky? No more then ussual.
Clark: I did see him watching videos while on monitor duty. He never does that.
Barry: What? Mr.All Work No Play? Pfff, what kind of videos was he watching?
Clark: How to change diapers for new fathers
Oliver:*Gasps* He reproduced!?
Arthur: Batman has a offspring? What wonderful news!
Diana: I had no idea Batman was capable of doing so, but what joyous news to hear he is now a father.
Clark: You didnt think he was capable of having kids?
Diana: I was under the impression Batman was not human. As Barry and Hal have always claim he was a demon.
Barry: I used the termed "cryptid" as a more umbrella terminology. You never know with Batman.
Clark: We dont know anything about Batman.
Bruce sneaking into the room: I'm a father of ten.
Justice League: *Getting jump scared so bad the conference table breaks*
Bruce: I just bought that table. Why do you break all the things I buy? My children are better behaved then you.
Oliver: Ten!? You have ten kids?!
Bruce: Yes.
Oliver: How!?
Bruce:....I can send you links for proper health classes that explain that to you. This isnt the proper location for such conversations.
Barry: Did Batman just HR us?
Bruce: By the way. I will be working remotely for a few months. My youngest, Phantom, can't be away from me for too long, as I am producing his food in my body.
Hal: YOU GAVE BIRTH!?
Bruce meant that Deage Infant Danny eats emotions byt thinking this is hilarious says with straight face: Yes. Males in my kind are birth givers.
Diana: *slams hand on broken table* Write that down! Write that down! Its a clue to his kind!
Barry: I got it!

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Diana: Anyone noticed Batman acting odd recently?
Hal: Spooky? No more then ussual.
Clark: I did see him watching videos while on monitor duty. He never does that.
Barry: What? Mr.All Work No Play? Pfff, what kind of videos was he watching?
Clark: How to change diapers for new fathers
Oliver:*Gasps* He reproduced!?
Arthur: Batman has a offspring? What wonderful news!
Diana: I had no idea Batman was capable of doing so, but what joyous news to hear he is now a father.
Clark: You didnt think he was capable of having kids?
Diana: I was under the impression Batman was not human. As Barry and Hal have always claim he was a demon.
Barry: I used the termed "cryptid" as a more umbrella terminology. You never know with Batman.
Clark: We dont know anything about Batman.
Bruce sneaking into the room: I'm a father of ten.
Justice League: *Getting jump scared so bad the conference table breaks*
Bruce: I just bought that table. Why do you break all the things I buy? My children are better behaved then you.
Oliver: Ten!? You have ten kids?!
Bruce: Yes.
Oliver: How!?
Bruce:....I can send you links for proper health classes that explain that to you. This isnt the proper location for such conversations.
Barry: Did Batman just HR us?
Bruce: By the way. I will be working remotely for a few months. My youngest, Phantom, can't be away from me for too long, as I am producing his food in my body.
Hal: YOU GAVE BIRTH!?
Bruce meant that Deage Infant Danny eats emotions byt thinking this is hilarious says with straight face: Yes. Males in my kind are birth givers.
Diana: *slams hand on broken table* Write that down! Write that down! Its a clue to his kind!
Barry: I got it!
#Please little bird
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.