canon is a suggestion and i'm not listening

Medieval peasants also didn’t eat chicken very often. That’s a source of eggs. If you’re lucky enough to own a cow it’s also unlikely you’d eat it unless it’s on its way out anyways. That’s a good source of milk. It’s more advantageous to keep a cow or chicken alive than to eat them.

Fat from a fat tailed sheep makes for good cooking fat if your setting is more middle eastern or North African inspired. European settings would prefer butter, lard, or olive oil depending on where exactly they are.

The limiting factor for livestock keeping in the medieval period was winter fodder--there was enough summer grazing for the spring births in fallow fields that they fertilized with their manure , but not enough hay and grazing to get them through the winter. So the lambs--all the males and some of the females--would be butchered in the fall. A bull calf might be butchered as veal (or "baby beef", depending on timing) its first fall or might be over-wintered and butchered as beef the following fall. A few of the older ewes would be butchered as mutton, replaced with female lambs from the spring births. A female calf would be traded, sold, or kept as a replacement.

Similarly, half of the chicks born would be male, destined for spring/early summer butchering. (Or caponed, castrated, though that's much more difficult with a bird.) Chicken is a lean meat, though, and rather tough in a free-range bird, so it was usually stewed rather than roasted. Capon was a bit of a luxury food due to the difficulty of castrating them. Geese were much more popular due to the fattier meat.

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

Stratt: tries to make a going-off comfort gift and instead creates the most insensitive thing possible

When You Look at Dr. Grace

When You Look at Dr. Grace

has the "ship grace with everyone ever" blunt rotation hit the eel hive mind yet

statement statement

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

Wild how abusive artists like Micheal Jackson can have biography movies made and not a single mention of accused abuses or the subsequent trials will be mentioned.

With a satisfied smile, the blogger lets their brain return to a warm and gentle B-mode where criticism of any other celebrity does not exist, because the blogger’s favorite singer is the One True Celebrity. The blogger need not read the vast amounts of criticisms of the latest Michael Jackson biopic. The blogger need not pay attention to any post not tagged with the name of their One True Celebrity.

One day, the blogger knows, they will receive their Eternal Reward for being a True Fan of the One True Celebrity and defending her from all the blind, sexist sheep who only pretend to care about the climate and immigrants and the normalization of fascism and racist dog whistles and stopping the onslaught of end-stage capitalism so that they can dunk on a beautiful, white, innocent, frail little flower of a woman who needs the protection of someone Chosen - like the blogger.

With a self-satisfied smirk, the blogger returns to their Matrix-style sleep pod filled with pony beads instead of slime and hooks themselves in, returning to a slumber that will power Taylor’s personal vibrator until the next Google Alert wakes the blogger for another round of defense. As the blogger drifts into slumber, their eyes fluttering, Taylor’s voice can be heard, praising the Chosen blogger’s efforts, her beautiful, melodic voice line only interrupted by the customized name portion which sounds like the CVS phone voice:

“Thank you, [Pleasure Wand Power Unit 758]! You sure did a good job [defending my friendship with people who run concentration camps]. Don’t forget to buy the seven new re-releases of my last twelve albums in special edition cases! My honeymoon isn’t going to pay for itself!”