#dcxdpdabbles

Due to an increase in negative asks, I decided to close the ask box and the submissions for a while. I believe it's the same bot that was bothering me at the beginning of the year, and hopefully taking the option away may force it to move on.

Jazz: I-

Danny: Don't do it, Jazz! He's a liar. A pretty lair, but a lair nonetheless!

Jazz: You can tell his pretty? With everything covering his face?

Danny: He gives the vibe of a man who has gone through life flying on pretty privilege.

Jazz studying Batman: Yeah, I see what you mean.

Batman: ....Do you want to be rescued or not?

Danny: Not!

Batman: I apologize, I made that sound like you had a choice. I'm saving your lives.

Danny: The the HELL you are!

Jazz: Actually, I would like to get out of the cage the weird clown threw us in.

Danny through clentch teeth: Fine. Save us. But only because Jazz vouched for you.

Batman: Why are you so angry child?

Jazz: He doesn't trust pretty people. They bullied him through middle school and high school.

Red Robin: Wow, he must not trust himself then. After all, he's the prettiest boy I've ever seen~♡

Danny: *Barks and growls at him*

Jazz: Danny!

Danny: That one reeks of pretty privilege. He can not be trusted.

Red Robin: Jokes on you, I'm into this.

Danny: Dude, I'm walking around with a cane. I have obvious medical issues. You think I have money?

Mugger: Shut up! If you don't do what I say, I'll sell your organs!

Danny: Again, medical issues. Who would buy organs that were already failing?

Mugger: Fine! This death is on you-

Batman: *dropping onto the mugger and beating him to pulp*

Danny: Ancients beyond! *pick up dropped gun* Sir. Sir, he's unarmed now.

Batman: Drop that or you get what he's having.

Danny: Oh. *puts gun down slowly* Thanks for saving me. I'm just gonna-

Mugger: HELP ME

Danny: What you want me to do? Fight Batman? I have serious medical issues! I can't beat him.

Batman: Go home.

Danny: I'm going home.

Mugger: No! DON'T LEAVE ME! WHAT ABOUT GOTHAM UNITY!?

Danny wobbling away rapidly: I'm sorry! I have to put myself first! I only moved to this city because of Wayne's medical forgiveness program.

Batman: Is that so?

Danny: *wobbles faster* Please dont take a interest in me, sir! I have enough problems as it is!

Batman: ....

Danny rounds the corner as the screams of the mugger increase: I have to put myself first. Don't look back. He belongs to the Dark Knight now. There was nothing I could do.

Three days later:

Jazz: Danny! This is a miracle!All of your medical bills were paid!

Danny: What!? By who!?

Jazz: Bruce Wayne! Apparently, Batman told him about you.

Danny, in a low whisper of terror: Give back the money.

Jazz: What?

Danny: Give it back. I do not want Batman's attention. He's a menace. Im unarmed 90% of the time, and he will not care.

Jazz: What?????

Danny, closing the blinds: Do you think he knows where we live!?

Jazz: Are you scared of Batman?

Sam: Yeah, but mine isn't a crime lord.

Danny defending everything Jason does because he is in love with him but at the same time fighting the Red Hood gang.

Batman: ....

Green Lantern: What? Why? No offense, Batman, but he's not the social type, especially for something this delicate.

Wonder Woman: We figured it be best if two supernatural beings discuss. To find common ground.

Flash: Ohhhh, that makes sense.

Aquaman: It is a wise tactic.

Green Arrow: *nodding* Two scary otherworldly beings would be best. At the very least Bats wont be intimidated by the Ghost King.

Martian Manhunter: Does this mean we send in Batman alone?

Superman: Thats the plan.

Batman mentally: What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. I'm so fucked. Why are they doing this to me? I don't even have powers!

Batman out loud: I will complete this mission.

Danny: I beg your pardon?

Tim: I know you feed on emotions. You're an ecto-being, known as Phantom, and you're hiding in Gotham from the government. Your real name is Daniel Fenton.

Danny defeated: Who are you working for? How did they find me?

Tim: Don't worry about that. I'm the only one who knows. Listen, I need your emotional eating abilities. Robin died a few weeks ago, and Batman is losing it. Could you eat his sorrow? Help cut through his fog of grief?

Danny: I- ugh I never tried that?

Tim: Well, now is a good chance to try. Pack your bags, you're moving into Drake Manor as my uncle, and we're going to save Batman.

Danny: Okay?

Tim: You seemed confused. Do I need to explain the plan again?

Danny: I'm not confused. I didn't expect this when I opened the door to a seven-year-old.

Tim: I'm thirteen.

Danny: I'm so sorry. Are you not being feed?

Tim: Everyone blooms at their own time!

Danny: Sure, buddy.

Tim: You-! You will actually do really well at posing as an annoying uncle. You're on thin ice, though. So watch it.

Danny: I'll take that threat more seriously when you can reach my chin.

Danny: Yes, sir.

Alfred: It helps to drop off a plate of snacks on Fridays. The children love it.

Danny: Are there any dietary restrictions I should know about?

Alfred: Master Tim is allergic to shellfish, and Master Damian is lactose intolerant. Miss Cass tends to avoid gluten-

Bruce: Ugh? Alfred who is this?

Alfred: Oh, Master Bruce. I didn't see you there. This is Daniel Fenton. My great-grandson.

Bruce: I- your what?

Alfred: My great-grandson. You remember my daughter, right? She had a child when she was fifteen that I never knew about. She put the girl up for adoption under my ex-wife's insistence. That child was Madeline, who went on to have children of her own. Daniel, here, is her youngest.

Bruce: I see. It's wonderful to meet you, Daniel.

Danny: You can call me Danny. Thank you for letting me stay here.

Bruce: Oh, of course. *shooting Alfred a confused look*

Alfred: Danny is a a situation green four.

Danny: I'm a what? What does that mean?

Bruce: You're part of this household now. That's what that means. Want me to show you around?

Danny: ugh, no, Great-Grandfather is already doing that.

Bruce: Alright! Have fun! I have some work to do but let me know if you need me. *walks away*

Danny: Did he seem nervous to you?

Alfred: No, he looks like that all the time. Master Bruce has a reputation you can say.

Danny heard everything about airhead Brucie: I guess that makes sense.

Meanwhile in Bruce's office:

Bruce hiding under his desk calling Dick: I'm serious. Alfred called him a situation green four!

Dick: *horrified gasp* Are you safe?

Bruce: Probably. The boy is young. I think Alfred is going to sick him onto Tim or Duke.

Dick: B. Listen to me. Get out of there. Get out of there now. I'll warn Tim and Duke.