Anyways short svsss au because it’ll distract me from the pain (being dramatic)
Baker SY (STOP, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING, LET ME FINISH) that is unaware that he doubles as an assassin because of how bad his baking skills are. He has the amazing ability to make everything he makes look edible…. When in reality the taste is usually bad enough to kill—and that’s not an exaggeration either people start FOAMING at the mouth. (The entire time SY’s in the dark about this btw.)
Anyways enter the brothel jiejies that constantly buy his food to make “unsavory” customers disappear. Also enter SY who gives his baked goods out to the slum kids. The slum kids are well aware of his reputation and through miscommunication they think that SY is using them to take over the streets… and they lowkey love it. SY doesn’t demand money from them, he gives them methods to kill the tyrannical slavers that runs the streets, and he’s always nice. So through misunderstanding and miscommunications SY 1.) becomes the boss of the slums, 2.) develops one of the most well-established, widespread, detailed information webs AROUND, and 3.) Earns a reputation as one of the deadliest assassins ever without even knowing.
LMAO imagine SJ bringing WYZ to SY’s shop (SY’s given him cookies too, he’s well aware of SY’s reputation) and watching in satisfaction as WYZ DIES after eating one of Shen Yuan’s cookies. LMAO HE BECOMES SY’S BAKER APPRENTICE AND MAKES ACTUALLY EDIBLE BAKED GOODS TO GIVE THE STORE A BETTER COVER. HE ALSO LEARNS THAT HIS MASTER (SY) IS AMAZINGLY RESISTANT TO POISON (he eats his own baked goods and genuinely cannot tell how bad they are) AND PLAYS THE CLUELESS ACT PERFECTLY (because he’s genuinely clueless) LMAO
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
HAVE SOME DOMESTIC TRANSMIGRATED ROGUE CULTIVATOR MAMAYUAN WITH SHEN JIU X3 (please don't stone me to death)
"You will teach me how to read, right?"
Shen Jiu asked one night, staring at the absentminded Shen Yuan across the table. Shen Yuan, nose deep in a novel he'd picked up the day before, looked up at the child with a raised eyebrow.
"Why would I not? You should know how to read words before I teach you how to read music."
Shen Jiu shrugged, dropping his eyes back down to the bowl of food in front of him. The surrounding noises of the inn a quiet backdrop to the conversation.
"You haven't taught me much of anything, actually. You're... Stingy with knowledge."
Shen Jiu's mutter came quietly as he busied himself in scarfing down the meal Shen Yuan had bought for him. Even though Shen Yuan never seemed to get offended by his words Shen Jiu was still a bit cautious, the man could discard him at any moment. Shen Jiu wasn't quite willing to let go of this chance to learn cultivation.
"Hey, I've taught you how to make money! Plus, I've definitely taught you a few body strengthening moves! How's that considered nothing?!"
Shen Yuan protested indignantly, extending his idle chopsticks to pluck something from Shen Jiu's bowl in retaliation. He paid the resulting expression on Shen Jiu's face and the way he pulled his bowl closer to himself no mind.
"Though I guess you need to know how to read names in order to take and collect bounties. Here, I'll teach you my name."
Shen Yuan spoke after thinking about it. He had to read the menu out to Shen Jiu earlier, it wasn't very convenient. If the boy couldn't read a menu, how could he read what bounties said? While there were plenty of illiterate bounty hunters out there, Shen Yuan didn't want to send a child out into that world.
"Wouldn't you normally teach me my name first?"
Came Shen Jiu's reply, sarcastic as ever. Despite his tone, the way he'd put his chopsticks down and focused his attention on Shen Yuan showed that he was clearly eager to learn.
"Normally yes, but what if we get separated? How will you know who to look for?"
"I know how to pronounce it, saying it is enough. Why would we get separated?"
"It's a common name, what if they need the specific characters? Things happen you know, it's not like we can predict the future. I'll teach you your name afterwards."
"...Stingy... Hurry up and finish your meal. Don't even think of backing out of this."
Shen Jiu muttered finally, obviously not serious as he rushed Shen Yuan to finish his own meal and hurry up.
"Speaking of your name... Don't you want a new one? Something a bit more--
...
Pretty.’
Shen yuan’s voice felt echoey inside of his head, the words drowned bouncing around his mind as he lost himself in the stars twinkling overhead. The sky, painted with hues of deep blue and violet undertones, felt especially full today.
“What a sight,”
His words came out as a slurred murmur, the words tumbling out like they weren’t ready to be spoken. He was exhausted, a strange tiredness that seeped into his very bones.
The warm hands of another embraced his skin, holding him gently as if to relieve him of the sleepiness that plagued him. He struggled a bit at first, not quite willing to accept the touch.
The cradle of death was persistent, though.
As the moments drew on he found that his energy was seeping out of him in a quiet pool of crimson, meeting the ground in a sticky mess. The searing pain in his abdomen began to feel far away from him, the sensation of being pierced becoming a distant memory in an instant.
'I'm glad I get to see it alone.'
His eyes drooped slightly, all of the noise around him a quiet buzz in his ears as he kept his eyes focused on the sky. He was happy that Shen Jiu wasn't here to watch things go down, happy that Shen Jiu didn't have to watch the only parent he'd ever known die.
'...'
A part of Shen Yuan felt bad, charging in knowing that he was going to die. Knowing that his actions would rob a child of family... But the other part of him was happy with what he's done. His death would guarantee safety for Shen Jiu.
Honestly, Shen Yuan hadn't originally intended to take in a disciple. Meeting Shen Jiu wasn't intentional--though, most meetings weren't. It was pure luck that the demonic cultivator Shen Yuan'd been tracking down--Wu Yanzi--happened to try and take Shen Jiu up.
If it weren't for the pity he felt for the child after killing the only way of escape for him, he'd have never taken Shen Jiu in. He couldn't say he regretted it though, the time spent with that rowdy child was... fun.
A bit of blood welled up in Shen Yuan's throat, released through a simple cough. The noise snapped him from his thoughts, past memories vanishing from focus as Shen Yuan blinked his way back to clarity.
He turned his head to the side, sweating at the startling amount effort it took to preform the simple motion. He was surrounded by dead bodies--of which he was responsible for.
The guards would be there soon--that was what he'd instructed Shen Jiu to do if he didn't come find him in an hour. It was a secluded area, so there wouldn't be anyone to find him and ruin the plan he'd made.
See, Shen Yuan had a bounty on his head. It'd been placed by some noble he'd pissed off along his journeys--a stupidly high price for one measly music-based cultivator. Nobody really took it seriously, however the fact of the matter was that there was a bounty, and that it had gone unclaimed due to Shen Yuan's oddly good ability to evade capture in the nick of time.
Shen Yuan had noticed a few weeks prior that he was being watched by a few individuals. Demonic cultivators--Shen Yuan had killed enough to recognize the signs of one--that were clear with their intentions. While Shen Yuan wasn't a righteous cultivator he was still a thorn in the sides of demonic cultivators. His reputation for claiming the bounties of demonic cultivators having spread far and wide.
It was clear that they intended to kill him now and prevent him from becoming any more of a festering wound to them than he already was. Shen Yuan had noticed at least 6 different people coming after him, a bit more than he could handle on his own. Normally he could've escaped the prying eyes on his own, hiding away in seclusion until the heat died down.
But Shen Yuan had a mortal with him.
A child at that. If he left, what would happen to Shen Jiu, who's been seen traveling with him on multiple occasions? If he brought Shen Jiu into seclusion with him, what could they do for food? Shen Yuan could go ages without food, however Shen Jiu was at the age where inedia wasn't an option.
There seemed to be no plausible option--how could he get mortals involved in a fight between cultivators? Just like that, Shen Yuan's future plans began to only involve Shen Jiu. He'd erased himself from the picture subconsciously, accepting his fate as is. It wasn't like he hadn't died before. Plus, even though the plot hadn't started, Shen Yuan wasn't really interested in living in the PIDW world after it began. As much as he loved his protagonist, he wasn't really interested in getting mistaken for a bad guy in a wifeplot and losing his life in a stupid way.
At least dying protecting someone was cool.
Shen Yuan's thoughts were getting jumbled, his mind turning into mush as his consciousness slipped away with each drop of blood lost. It was a wonder how he managed to kill all six before beginning to succumb to his injuries. Faintly he heard multiple footsteps approaching. It was obvious who it was. He was surprised that he'd remained alive and conscious up until this point.
The warm glow of the lanterns illuminated the path for Shen Jiu and the authorities. The boy who'd been frantically guiding the authorities over, as per Shen Yuan's instructions, paused when the light of the lantern revealed the scene. Six unfamiliar bodies were scattered around the area.
It wasn't the "sudden" appearance of dead bodies that made Shen Jiu stop. It was his mentor, Shen Yuan's body, sprawled out in the grass that made him stop. The man's robes were bloody and torn in several spots. A thin trail of blood dripped from his mouth to the grass beneath him.
"Shen Yuan..?"
Shen Jiu's voice came out, a bit quietly at first. The authorities behind him moved in to check the bodies and faces. He was frozen in place as he watched Shen Yuan move slightly. His eyes, which had been distant moments before, regained clarity briefly. They squinted at him in a bittersweet way, giving the other one last reassuring smile before his pupils dilated completely.
Shen Jiu didn't have time to grieve before someone patted him on the back with a boisterous laugh. It was a burly man--one of the people in command when it came to this town's authorities. He didn't seem bothered by the corpses. Instead he congratulated Shen Jiu on being able to collect such a big bounty.
"What?"
Shen Jiu looked at him, his pupils constricted. His throat felt a bit tight and breathing wasn't as easy as it'd been moments earlier.
"The bounty, the reason you called us over, no? I wasn't expecting to find the elusive Shen Yuan dead here of all places. When you called us over I didn't have high hopes, but thanks to you we'll all be getting bonuses today."
The rest of the mans words drowned out into static to Shen Jiu, his eyes locking back onto Shen Yuan's body--which was being moved before it even had a chance to get cold.
"I... What?"
His voice was a quiet whisper. This wasn't right. He--Shen Yuan had said that calling the authorities was good because being captured was better than dying--Shen Yuan wasn't supposed to die. Right?
Shen Jiu was well aware that he was trying to justify his mentors death as an accident. He was trying to avoid admitting that his mentor died because of him. for him. The look Shen Yuan gave him before dying couldn't be ignored though. The weak attempt at comfort had all but confirmed a reality that he wished he could deny.
reminder that you cannot call people or things "retarded" around me. we will have a conversation where I explain that I can still tell you the names of 62 people for which I was legally responsible. I will tell you that I loved them
and you will feel like you were being an asshole and wonder why you don't just stop saying it altogether. me too.
if we're friends, you can call me a faggot. there can be a lot of tenderness in that. I got beat up and bullied and just generally treated like a detestable freak by people who called me that word while they did it. hearing it spoken by a loved voice, with clear affection, can be beautiful. it can feel like understanding, forgiveness, absolution, permission, and a thousand other wonderful things. it can be beautiful.
I got called retarded too, but we don't share any special insight into that. it's just a word to us. pick a different one.
a lady with a developmental disability once explained to me that she'd overheard some kids calling each other retarded in the mall we'd visited earlier that day. searching for something to say that might comfort her, I explained that they don't know anything about people like her and so they weren't really talking about her, just being ignorant.
she got angry and said "then they need to pick a different word". and so you need to pick a different word.
don't think this is exclusive to public spaces like the mall or the park or whatever either. she has a tablet and access to the internet, just the same as you do. she can read, write, and make her own decisions. she has a husband.
you don't know anything about her, you need to stop talking about her. pick a different word.
"Horse but make it a lizard and give it bat wings and horns"
didnt know how to interpret "make it a lizard" so i wrote lizard and drew an arrow pointing to the horse so people know its a lizard. Also didn't know what bat horns were so I gave it a horned bat nose
"A body like a big cat but completely covered in scales, the head of a crocodile with the horns of an ibex, and the wings of a bat on its back"
On it boss o7, ive mashed all these animals together and threw scales all over it. This the dragon you saw?
"Take a lizard, extend the neck. Add a pair of bat wings to the back. Add horns and sharp teeth."
Seems like we're onto somethin' boss! Though idk how it'd be so fearsome bein such a small thing.
"Imagine a winged alligator that was 70 feet tall and aware of its existence"
i dont know if this is a dragon but it could definitely be some kind of god
"Dinosaur with wings and horns?"
Dunno which dino you were talkin about so i just picked a random one. Stegosauus :}
"Big snake with legs and horns that can breathe fire"
Ah. Hm.
"A dragon is like a tree, in that it's a made up category for a broadly similar type of mythological creature that has no relationship to other dragons, but you know a dragon when you see one the way you know a tree when you see one."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I recently adopted a kitten (she had fallen down a drain) and today I took her to the vet urgently because she was vomiting and oozing pus. I was told that she has an infection in her uterus (it's basically full of pus) and that she needs urgent surgery, plus she has tested positive for erlikia.
Even with all my savings, I can't cover all the expenses for surgeries, remedies and other aftercare.
Please, if you can donate, buy me a commission or at least reblog this post, I would be eternally grateful.
at least I need 350$
https://ko-fi.com/jejejijiju
https://www.paypal.me/Ypsilon16
unlimited commission slots. Oc, fanart, literally whatever you want
Danny: *minding his buisness in the mall, and sipping on a cup of ectoplasm*
M'ari, walks up to him curiously: What are you drinking?
Danny, taken off gaurd by the random child: Uhh...
M'ari: Because it kinda looks like Uncle Jason's blood. Are you a vampire?
Danny: Yes.
M'ari: Oh. Did you get permission to drink that blood? If not that means you're a bad guy.
Danny: I got permission, only weird fruitloops don't get permission.
M'ari, nods seriously: That's good, cause then I'd have had to beat you up. And I like your star hoodie, and I wouldn't want to accidentally ruin it.
Danny: You a hero then?
M'ari: No, Daddy and Mommy are heros though, and that means I'll be a hero one day too.
Danny: Got your whole life figured out huh kid?
M'ari: *proudly nods*
Danny: So where are-
M'ari: Is your skin sparkly because you're a vampire?
Danny: Sparkly?
M'ari: Yeah! It looks like snow when its in the morning and its all glittery.
Danny, snorts: No thats because I have use ice powers.
M'ari: Really?!
Danny: *crouches down and puts his drink down. He holds out his palm, and it starts glowing blue before a glittering blue ice sculpture in the shape if a star materializes in his hand, followed by small ice droplets that turned it into a necklace.*
M'ari: Pretty!
Danny: Tell ya what, you tell me how to contact your parents to come get you, and you can have it.
M'ari: I know Daddy's phone number!
Danny: That'll work.
*one phone call with a panicked father later*
Dick: M'ari!
M'ari: Hi Daddy! Look the Mall Vampire made me a necklace! Hey will it melt?
Danny: Not unless I will it to kid.
Dick: You scared the stars out of me Princess! I turned around and you were just gone! You can't do that!
M'ari: But I was bored, and you walk away from Uncle Tim when you're bored.
Dick: Ah well thats different-
Danny: *snorts but tries to cover it by taking a sip of his drink*
Dick: Thank you for holding her attention long enough to contact me.
M'ari: The Mall Vampire is cool! He knows more about the stars and planets than Mommy does.
Dick: Mall Vampire?
Danny: *smiles at him, showing off his sharper canines*
Dick, pales: Right! Well Granpa is waiting for us M'ari! Thanks for the help sir, goodbye.
M'ari: By Mr. Mall Vampire. *waves excitedly over Dick's back*
Danny: *lazily waves back*
Bonus
???: Sorry I'm late I was- why do you have that look on your face?
Danny: What look?
???: The look that means "I know something others don't know and its going to be hilarious".
Danny: Its nothing bad, just had an interesting conversation with a really eccentric kid is all. It was funny, in hindsight.
???: Uhuh, sure. *squints suspiciously at him*
Danny: Anyway, forget about that, let's get the supplies I need before we go to dinner.
*3 Hours Later*
Tim: Why is M'ari running around talking about a Mall Vampire?
Kori: Dick lost her in the mall earlier today, and the person who found her was humoring her questions.
Tim: And Dick is freaking out because...?
Kori, huffing: The man was "extremely pale with glittery skin and dark hair" and he just happened to have sharp teeth, so Dick's freaking out about it.
Tim: Seriously?
Kori, fondly: Honestly, that man.
Barbra: Hey guys, sorry for arrivaving late, it took a while to find the right paint-
M'ari, squeals: Mall Vampire!
Danny: Hey kid.
Barbra: What?
Danny: This is the eccentric kid I told you about.
Barbra: Oh. Well uh, this is Danny, the cousin I told you abour. He's only in Gotham for a few months for a few art shows hes particpating in, so he's going to be staying with me.
Dick, paling: What?
Danny: Sorry for any inconvenience I might cause, but I look forward to getting to know you all. *smiles 'innocently', showing off his sharp teeth once more*
Svsss scumcum au where Shen Yuan becomes Shen Jiu's reflection and he gains Shen Jiu's memory and he's trying to turn Shen Jiu into a better person by coaxing him and Shen Jiu thinks he has a heart demon but is slowly coming to fall in love with the version of him that appears in the mirror, whispering sweet words and smiling at him. The version of himself he never was.
But I already have so many AUs to continuuuuueeee...
*sigh...*
...
"Jiu-ge, you should really try being nicer to Liu-shidi. Having looked at him long enough, this one can tell he's just emotionally constipated. The man has barely considered an emotion in his life."
Shen Jiu raises an eyebrow, the Heart Demon in the Mirror prattling on as they comb through their hair.
It was a habit he already had, but this ritual has new meaning to him now.
The Mirror Demon doesn't always mimic his movements. Sometimes he defies his actions and does something else, but when he does something harmless, like caring for his body, they move in sync, like a dance to a song only they can hear.
It reminds Shen Jiu of swans, necks bent and turning in tandem.
"He's a thorn in my side."
"He's just trying to feel you out after you let him take that disciple you both wanted. Which, you were very gracious to let him do that, Shen Jiu. Besides, this one doesn't think you would've had much enjoyment with the little one running around. Your hands are full enough with the current children, especially since you've decided to take on a more hands-on approach with them."
Shen Jiu scoffs. "You're the one who suggested it."
"Which, this reflection only did because I believe you have much more to teach them directly!"
The Mirror Demon opens his eyes where he'd had them closed, his irises an inexplicable green, somewhere between moss and malachite. Shen Jiu's are slate, with frown lines seemingly etched in place. The Mirror Demon has many expressions, a swath of them, like the guilty amusement making him push out his lower lip as he continues explaining himself. It makes Shen Jiu's face look like it belongs to someone else. It feels like someone else entirely.
Someone better.
"You learned so much from your time in the streets—and I know you don't like to talk about it. You don't even have to mention or reference it. But this is the peak of the arts and strategy, and knowing how the world works in its darkest places is imperative for that, isn't it? Your experience is perfect for that role, moreso than anyone else."
His Mirror sways his head as Shen Jiu does, switching the side their hair is on and returning to combing oil into it so it's shiny and smooth. Shen Jiu's gaze lingers on the long curve of his Mirror's lithe neck.
"Your survival is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what anyone else says."
"...Hmh."
"Don't you 'hmh' me, I mean it!"
"In what world is it good for an immortal to be sly and vindictive?"
"This one, clearly. I mean, I'm still quite pleased with how you handled the complaint from Huan Hua regarding 'training ground infractions'. Which, what kind of bullshit was that, anyway? There are villages full of people who need help, and their disciples hadn't cleared out the Viper Ocelot-Lizards in over two months, and it was right around time for hatching season, so of course there was going to be a problem! It only made sense for you to interfere in their sloppy—"
His Mirror continues, praising him for his technical subterfuge and the tonguelashing he gave those children, then the higher ups that came after those children went crying to them. Of course, back then, he and the Mirror had questioned why a semi-demonic creature was so close to a border between two immortal sects in the first place, leading to further investigations and border monitoring that continue to this day. But, it was the thought that someone else was on the same wavelength as him that really calmed Shen Jiu while Yue Qingyuan and the others questioned his insistence as needling until they too finally understood, some begrudgingly, that he was in the right.
Someone saw him and was pleased. Even if that someone looked like himself.
That someone was a better, kinder version of himself. Someone he could never be no matter how much the Mirror coaxed him with honeyed words and subtle nudging that he knew the other was doing.
That someone mimicked his movements, but in increasingly imperfect ways, the timing still just right regardless.
Loose and relaxed at the wrists. Shoulders light. Back a little hunched until he remembered to straighten it when Shen Jiu moved.
Separate, different, but with him.
His in a way no one else has ever been.
And all he has to do to get a little gratitude is egg him on, and it spills from his lips as easily as air.
Soft. Weak. Would such a silk-made thing survive outside of the mirror?
It's an inexplicable feeling. The desire to keep him in place and take him out of it one and the same.
"Jiu-ge?"
He blinks.
Shen Jiu didn't realize he had stopped combing his hair until just then, his left hand on the mirror. His Mirror's right hand mimics his, fingers separated by a pane of glass and a sliver of reality.
"Are you okay?"
...No, not one and the same.
"...Hmh."
His Mirror frowns as Shen Jiu pulls his hand away, grabbing a cloth with which to wipe his own oily finger prints clear.
"Again with the 'hmh'. You're starting to sound like Liu Qingge, you know."
"Excuse me?"
"Heh, that is more like it. Use your words, Jiu-ge."
"You use them plenty enough for the both of us. There's barely a moment since I've come to notice you where you shut your mouth."
"You foolish, stupid child," Vlad hisses, pinning Danny to the wall. Danny's eyes turn green as he wraps both his fists around the one Vlad has clenched in his collar, his feet dangling in the air. Vlad leans in, his own eyes burning red.
"When, exactly, did you plan on telling me your biological father was Bruce Wayne?" he says furiously.
Danny's hands drop in surprise. "W-What?" he gasps.
Vlad drops him unceremoniously and he lands on the floor in a heap. Vlad claws at the air in frustration.
"Don't lie to me, boy." Vlad says, omitting his often used possessive "my" in front of "boy".
"How do you know that?" Danny asks warily, propping himself up. He watches Vlad push a shaking hand through his hair. The man looks down at him before dropping in an ungainly squat beside him.
"Of all the sperm donors, Bruce Wayne, Daniel? Really?" The man asks, despairingly.
"I didn't exactly choose him, Vlad."
"No, I suppose you didn't."
"Seriously," Danny says, watching the man rock back on his heels as a growing pit forms in his stomach. "How did you know about him?"
Vlad's mouth twists bitterly. "Because he now knows about you."
"What do you—"
"Vladdy! Danno! What are the two of you doing on the floor?" Jack flops down beside them, a tray of freshly prepared fudge in his hands. "We having a heart-to-heart boys? Let me in on this!"
"Jack," Vlad says. "If you truly want to have a heart-to-heart with your son, I suggest you tell him the real reason I've come over today."
Jack's face falls.
"Vlad," Maddie says from behind him. "Thank you for coming. We're grateful for all you've done, but I think we can handle it from here."
"Madeline," Vlad says, rushing to his feet. "I must insist—"
"And I must insist you see yourself out," Maddie smiles tightly. "You know where the door is, don't you?"
"Mads," Jack says gently, looking between the two.
"I can show him out," Danny says, getting up as well.
"That's alright, Danny," Maddie says. "Why don't you go get your sister? We need to have a talk...as a family."
Danny glances at Vlad.
"Now, Danny," Maddie says. Danny heads for the stairs, pit growing ever larger.
--
The next time they meet it is Danny who has Vlad pinned, the gaudy chandelier above him shaking with the force of his rage.
"You should've told me," Danny growls.
"I thought your parents had you informed," Vlad says, utterly unbothered by the teen cracking what is thankfully not a load-bearing wall of his mansion. "Honestly Daniel, we could throw around allegations of deception on both sides, particularly mine as I assume you've known for quite some time now, if not the entire time, about your father hmm?"
Danny's eyes flick away in an obvious tell.
"Yes, I thought as much. But rather than whinging about being blindsided, I suggest we focus our energy on the solution."
Danny drops Vlad, barely biting back a snarl when the man lands gracefully on both feet.
"Which is?" Danny asks.
"First of all, your well-meaning but frankly moronic parents seem to believe that they can make a case for your custody without the assistance of my legal team. It is in both of our best interests to dissuade them of this."
"They don't like feeling indebted, Mom in particular."
"Well, to be crude for a moment Daniel, tough shit. Yes," Vlad says in response to Danny's widening eyes, "I said it. Bruce Wayne has the best of the best on his payroll and your parent's rinky-dink attorney from the local practice won't stand a chance against Friedman & Sons. Especially once he establishes paternity."
"He can do that?" Danny asks. "I mean I'm almost eighteen, can't I just refuse?"
"The keyword here, Daniel, is almost. As in, you are not. The judge can take your wishes into consideration, but I suspect Wayne will make a case for an unsafe living environment alongside his paternity to win his petition for full custody."
"Un-unsafe living environment?" Danny sputters. Vlad eyes the boy dryly before gesturing to all of him, currently clad in silver and black hazmat. Danny drops the transformation with a wince.
"In fact, I suspect that's the main reason the man filed in the first place," Vlad continues. "Lord knows he doesn't need anymore heirs to fight over his fortune once he passes—"
"Jesus, Vlad,"
"—so I believe he did some digging and found your home to be, well, wanting. On paper, Daniel, your parents sound eccentric at best, dangerous at worst. Pull the right strings, and hospital records just fall into laps. He probably thinks he's rescuing you." Vlad sneers. "If only he knew how quick you are to spit in the face of one offering you a comfortable and wealthy home."
"Fuck off," Danny says. "Is that what this is about? If you can't have me, no one can?"
Vlad rolls his eyes. "Come now, Daniel. Are you really intending to keep up this pretense?"
"What are you talking about?"
"We agreed a long time ago that no matter the nature of our quarrel, we would leave the Justice League out of it," Vlad says, taking a menacing step forward. "You think I, running in the circles I do, would have no knowledge of Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?" He takes another step, voice rising. "I have avoided drawing The Batman's attention for years, no matter how often our paths crossed. I stayed under his radar for decades, and now, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM ABOUT TO BE RUINED."
With a creak and a groan, the chandelier drops, landing between them with a crash. Danny coughs from the dust as Vlad takes a heaving, calming breath.
"Then why get involved at all?" Danny asks, staring at the ground.
Vlad sighs, clapping his hands twice. Several ghosts dressed in service uniforms fly out the woodwork, gathering up bits of chandelier as others begin to mop.
"Because, little badger," Vlad says, walking away from the mess. "If we lose this, he'll have you in the palm of his hands. Which is infinitely worse."
Entering the kitchen, he pulls an open bottle of white out of the kitchen fridge and pours himself a glass, throwing a Fiji water to Danny who takes it for the peace offering it is.
"He won't."
"Won't what, Daniel? Please speak in full sentences."
"Won't have me," Danny says, letting a thin coat of frost spread over the bottle. He tips the freezing cold water into his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, mostly to see Vlad grimace.
"Why, because you'll run away if he wins? Until you turn eighteen? I won't have you fail to complete your education because of a cockamamie scheme, Daniel—"
"Because I have a solution, Vlad, one that doesn't involve the courts or running away."
"And what is that, exactly, Daniel?"
--
"You're going to leave my family alone."
"Danny," Mr. Wayne says, blinking in surprise at the boy on his doorstep and miles away from Illinois.
"I mean it," Danny says firmly. "You're going to drop your petition and whatever smear campaign you were planning on and leave the Fentons alone."
"Danny...why don't you come inside?"
Danny takes a step back from the manor's large doors. "You want a relationship with me? Brute force isn't the answer."
Bruce takes in the teenager, lanky but almost to his eye level. His eyes are clear and sharp, his demeanor forcibly calm.
"I debated whether going through the court was the right thing to do," Bruce says slowly, matching calm with calm. "But I wanted to be above board."
"Because my adoption wasn't?" Danny says, arms crossed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Kinda hard to adopt a kid that doesn't legally exist. And I know what you're going to say, the Fentons should've reported me to the system, but they didn't do it because I begged them not to. Because I didn't want my biological parents to find me."
"Danny..."
"You can swing your dick around and get your way, exactly the way I thought you would do things," Danny says, "Or you can have a relationship with me on my terms. A relationship where I don't despise you because you took me away from the people who've loved me no matter their faults."
"You're asking me to choose your happiness over your safety." Bruce says carefully.
"That's bullshit," Danny says. "I had a lab accident when I was fourteen and went directly against my parents' instructions. They trusted me, and I made a mistake."
"It's not a matter of trust. You were a child, Danny, and you almost died." Bruce says, not bothering to feign ignorance. Footsteps echo behind him.
"Bruce?" A voice calls. "Is that..?"
"Your son did die," Danny says. "He took a flight with your credit card to Ethiopia and got blown up. I bet you trusted him too."
Bruce reels back as a hand lands on his shoulder, the other on the door.
"Whoa, whoa, uh, Danny, right? I'm Tim, I'm—"
"I know who you are," Danny says, clenching his fists. Powering through the hurt he is causing. "I didn't come here to point out what a total hypocrite you are. I just want you to back off. And if you give me your number, we can text and I'll come to Gotham for Thanksgiving or the ski chalet in Vermont or your villa in where-the-fuck-ever and you can be Uncle Bruce that I maybe even tolerate being around once in a while. Just leave my family alone."
"Bruce, what is he talking about?" Tim asks. "Back off of what?"
"Your Dad is suing my parents for full custody," Danny says when it becomes clear Bruce isn't answering.
"What?" Tim hisses, turning to Bruce. "That isn't what we talked about!"
"Danny. I..."
"Here," Danny says, thrusting an index card forward that he's scrawled his phone number and email onto. On the other side is the past participle conjugation for 'venir'. "I won't answer until you drop the custody petition. Which I expect you to do by tomorrow morning."
"Done," Tim says, stepping past Bruce and taking the card. "Give me about noon to get it all squared away with the lawyers. Do you have a hotel? A way home? I'd be happy to reimburse your flight and accommodation."
"Overstepping already."
"Fair enough," Tim says coolly, raising his hands. "Our lawyers will reach out when it's settled."
"Great. Bye." Danny says, turning to leave. He waits until he hears the manor door close behind him before pulling out his cell phone.
Ring!
Ring!
"Hello?"
"It's done."
"What's done? Again, little badger, full sentences, I beg of you."
Vlad watches everything invisible with tears in his eyes: "My future heir is so competent. He even uses some pf the manipulation skills i have taught him. Im so proud of him"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Sci-fi always likes to wax poetic about how it's humanity's emotions which make us human. So imagine Earth's surprise when, on the galactic scale, we are actually the cold and hyper-logical race!
Before I tell you about it, you should understand. Human Mei is my best friend. I love her deeply and I would fight anything and anyone to keep her from harm. She also frightens me like nothing else in the universe, and you should be frightened too.
All of us were terrified to go to Ki'ikarnath, but we also felt we had to, for the Light's Reach—and we were also resentful that the Light's Reach carried a bunch of Tu'ul missionaries who had gone down on an Anomalous Interdict world because of their own stupidity, and would probably thank their stupid Light if we managed to save them, not a Galactic Aid crew facing down fears that made our eyes bleed. Or a number of other reactions. I know that by the time we landed, I was using isopropyl wipes repeatedly so that the smell wouldn't trigger the rest of the landing party. Talak was in the corner shedding fit to become bald. If you've ever run one of those missions, you know how it is.
Mei wasn't, of course. I'm used to her not reacting. Talak was muttering about species who don't care when other people die, and I told them what they could do with their bigotry, but then I had to worry about crew members who weren't saying it.
We moved to where the wreckage of the Light's Reach was, scanned it with drones. No-one there. Not even in the terror compartment, which is definitely where most of the missionaries would have stayed.
"No sign of damage on the doors," Mei told me quietly, reviewing the drone shots. "It looks like the terror compartment was opened from the inside."
Having frightening anomalies pointed out in very calm tones doesn't always make them better. "Why would they do that?"
"Either there was something to fear inside, something they needed outside, or something made them feel overconfident. How do Tu'ul react to confinement, generally?"
"They're claustrophilic. They like closed spaces. It reminds them of nesting burrows."
"Hmm. Weird."
I knew I wasn't going to get more than hmm weird out of Mei at this point, because she was still processing information, twisting it round and round in that unique human brain. If we were an adventure story, hmm weird would have been her catch-phrase. On the other hand, if we were an adventure story, we would all be guaranteed to make it out alive, just to keep everything friendly for families and people about to lay eggs.
We were just setting the drones for a much wider sweep when someone came running out of the woods, and unfortunately ran right onto Talak—that's Tirifon Talak, you see. A pack hunter. They may shed from tension, but when under attack, they Protect The Pack—whatever they have to do, they protect the pack.
Of course, I'm a freeze reflex sapient, and even though I've been trained to get past it, the remains of what Talak had done froze me for a moment. Our medic was screaming at them. "We came here to save them and you killed them," you know, the sort of thing that comes out when things are getting that bad. It was hard, it was agonizing, to get my jaw unfrozen and tell Medic (Vossi don't give out personal names) to back off.
"Yeah, no, this is weird," Mei said, pressing her hand to her ear, where her personal scan-drone was giving her data. "This is very weird. Talak might have done exactly the right thing. I don't know."
Talak, who was hunching their shoulders from Medic's assault—now Medic's murderous glare—startled, and twisted around to give them a look. "What's weird?"
"First, there's a wound down his back, and I don't think Talak made it. They just ripped into them from the front, low abdomen, where most creatures keep their stomachs. It's just bad luck that Tu'ul have their lungs there, or Medic might have been able to keep him stable long enough to go in the cryo-lab." All of us knew the cryo-lab was a long shot, but you have to try, obviously. "Secondly—Tu'ul run about five points above my body temperature, which is higher even than Talak's, and this one is as close to the ambient temperature as Commander Sikasa." She nodded at me. "Third—Talak, your nose is better than mine, do you smell something weird?"
Talak looked confused. "Why would you acknowledge my input when…"
"When you were rude before? Because I'm sensible. And this is life or death. Do you smell anything?"
Talak was slow to answer, but then they said, reluctantly, "Nendlu. I don't know the Interlang word for it. It's in most violet blood. But—"
But the Tu'ul body was obviously, luridly, graphically green-blooded. Right. And Talak had cloudy gray-translucent blood, not that they'd gotten hurt in the fight. (Tirifon are fast. And temperamental.)
"I say we put the drones to use scanning this area," Mei said, "before we expand and try to find the survivors. At the very least, this one might have been extremely sick before they attacked."
I flared my facial fins in assent. "A good idea. Medic—"
Something bit me in the back. Something that was concealed almost completely by my carry-bag, and also by the fact that nobody was standing behind me.
And then I said, quite involuntarily, "Medic, take charge of the corpse. We need to give this person a decent funeral by their custom. Talak, send the drones out to patrol. High pattern and fast."
Mei looked at me.
Pray that you never get looked at quite that way by a human. They don't mean it—I don't think they mean it—but it gets you right down to the bone. Most species don't stare like that at anything they don't mean to eat, and that's not even counting the uncanny feeling you get from those white corners of their eyes.
Not that I could worry about that now, because there was something on my back. Something on my back, and I was no longer in charge of what I said, or what I did. Some kind of parasite. Some kind of controller.
I tried to scream. Couldn't.
Tried to freeze, because I was far past the point of panic. Couldn't. You don't know how wrong it feels, to move normally when your mind is screaming in fear.
Most of it is a blur. A copper green blur, just like my blood. I know I walked back to the shuttle. I know that I ordered several people out to do in-person patrols of the near area.
I know Mei said, "Countermand that," and I looked at her, and—
In a bizarre way, it was almost a relief to see her holding her weapon, barrel pointed rock-steady at me. At the same time, I didn't want to die. I didn't want to I didn't want to I didn't want to—
Various of the crew were yelling. Mei moved around the other side of me. "Take the pack off. And turn around."
"I will not!" My voice, my vocal cords, but not me. "I am your commanding officer, I order you—"
"Let me rephrase. Take the pack off before I break all four of the arms and remove it myself."
The thing controlling me opened its mouth and hissed, glaring through the green haze, but it was bluff and everyone knew it. It let the pack fall to the floor.
More shouting and screaming. I heard someone say multilegs, I heard someone else say worm.
"You are going to release my commander's body," Mei said, "or else I am going to rip you out, tentacle by tentacle, and then rip you apart, segment by segment. You have access to some of Sikasa's mind. Did I ever tell her what humans do to bugs?" The last word was unfamiliar. A human language.
I saw, out of the corner of one eye, Medic making his way through the crew, snapping at people who got in his way. I also saw Mei moving around to look me straight in the face. She showed her teeth.
Humans don't do that around other people. Not usually. Apparently it's sometimes a friend signal in some of their cultures. It wasn't this time, and I could tell. "We squash them," she hissed. "We poison them. We engineer them to rip their own kind apart. I knew how to pull off a tick before I learned written language, and if you think I'm going to balk at a bigger tick—"
She stopped herself. Went calm, somehow. It didn't matter. I knew what I had seen. What I don't think very few sapients report back about. A human about to lose their temper.
It wasn't like an adventure story, where someone untrained would have to get the thing off me and there might be a declaration of romantic love. Medic got me in the neck with a syringe and cut each of the tendrils out, and Medic wasn't about to declare romantic love to anyone, since his species doesn't have that. I woke up with Talak hanging over me, endured Medic's check, and then sat up. "Where's Mei?"
"In the convenience," Talak said, and then wrinkled its snout in alarm. "You don't think—"
They helped me up and we staggered to the convenience. My stomach swooped and dropped as I thought of violating taboo, but on the other hand—I used my override code and opened the door.
That day I learned: humans can purge the entire contents of their stomach. It is graphic, ugly, and very painful looking.
Mei grabbed a wipe and got the last of the sickening fluid off her lips as we came in. Talak made a horrified noise at the smell, which even I could detect. Acid. "What's wrong? Is this a disease?" I blurted.
"Nope." Mei leaned back against the garbage disposal and stretched her lips slightly, a gesture usually meant to be reassuring. "Delayed emotional reaction. Don't worry about it."
I blinked. Then blinked again. "I've never heard of—delayed emotion, how—"
"Not everyone's as brave as you, 'Kasa." I was going to protest that I wasn't, that my species was a bunch of insectivores for heaven's sake, but she went on. "Some of us can't afford to feel all the emotions in the moment, or we'd fall apart. So we lock in and squash it down and that has consequences." She stood up, not as smoothly as usual. I noticed that her skin, which is always a pale tan, was paler than usual. "Don't spread it around too much? It's a bit embarrassing and I think it might be useful to the crew, thinking I always have it together."
The rest of that mission is on file. How we got ourselves out alive, how we rescued two of the Tu'ul, how we nearly got killed by several more Tu'ul, which was also how we found out that the parasites pilot dead bodies as well as live ones. As far as we can tell, they simply ride a live body until it dies, and then keep doing it until it falls apart. Ki'ikarnath is now under a Known Biological Menace Interdict.
I kept Mei's secret. But I think this information might help you understand what's going on this time. Humans don't lack emotion. They defer it. They can take a boiling rage or a burning fear and crush it into a tiny, compressed space at the back of their mind until the emergency is over. But it exists. It has to be faced sooner or later.
And, Captain—if it isn't faced, your human friend could break. You can't let that happen.
thinking about a tim drake who knows bruce's new son is the second robin and also only a few years older than him, so he gets really excited at galas and events because it means he can actually hang out with and talk to robin himself, and a jason todd who does not fucking want to speak to anybody and will avoid social interaction at any cost; something tim Will Not Pick Up On, is very dear to me and i need to inject it into everything i do ever.
tim follows jason around during galas like a duckling, babbling his head off and not taking any hints no matter how strong they are, and jason is so fucking tired of this kid that he starts fucking with him the same way dick fucks with him. jason's walking around trying to find a corner to hide in for the rest of the night and tim is at his side refusing to shut the fuck up about architecture or whatever the fuck he's gotten obsessed with that week, so jason just trips him and shoves him into the back of some business guy who's talking in a group, and when the guy turns jason looks at tim and says 'woah, dude, i told you already, just because you like older guys doesn't mean you can smack the ass of every one you pass! i'm so sorry sir, i tried to control him," and then he turns in the opposite direction and speed-walks away while tim is left behind with this group of men staring down at him in judgement and it is literally the most betrayed tim has ever felt in his fucking life.
took me a second to find this post and i don't usually put these on tumblr but i remembered i never elaborated on this and it did specifically end up becoming a heavily elaborated on thing in one of my little practice ficlet thingies so this is. this is jason talking about tim at the league while damian films him.
Across a busy banquet table, Jason is dressed ornately in red and gold, with embroidered golden patterns embedded into the garnet fabric of his outfit. He has rubies dangling from both his ears, and there's a wide grin on his slightly-flushed face. Around him, a table piled with food is clearly circled by multiple people, not all of which are recognisable from other videos. Guards stand to attention at the edges of the room and Jason himself is surrounded on both sides by elderly men also attempting to enjoy their meals, though they side-eye Jason with wary yet distinctly confused looks as the younger teen yaps at them.
"We used to-" Jason snorts, gesturing with his hand at the wrinkled man sitting to his left, who primly raises an eyebrow as he lifts a glass goblet of wine to his lips, watching stiffly as Jason proceeds to get more and more amused by his story before he can even tell it. "We used-" He wheezes, continuing loudly above the other dinner conversation going on around him. "I used to get so bored at those events, man. Like- like I was twelve. I didn't wanna be at some bullshit gala, talkin'a posh people all night. You know?"
Either not noticing or completely ignoring the clear lack of encouragement from the elder man's body language, Jason elbows him lightly for an agreement, grinning and leaning in. The man gives him a thin and visibly uncomfortable half-smile, offering a begrudging head nod which Jason takes and runs with.
"Right!? So I had to keep myself entertained, and there was this kid; this kid-" He wheezes again, leaning forward with the effort and slapping his hand on the table next to his plate. It clangs, silverware rattling, and the man to his right glances over in alarm. The camera shakes slightly, like the person holding it is also struggling to keep their amusement at bay. Jason wipes at his eyes, face reddening from the effort as he gasps, "This kid, he was one of our neighbours I think," He goes on despite the high-pitch of his voice, and his face has to be aching from how wide his smile is. "He was a decent kid; couple years younger than me, but he used to really get on my nerves."
It's barely audible, but the camera manages to zoom in and capture the gritted-teeth through which the man to Jason's left grumbles, "Wonder what that's like," Before moving back over to capture Jason nodding his head jerkily, still snickering.
"He was sweet, but he just never left me alone; and I guess he couldn't really understand social cues that well? Because I was in such a bad mood this night and he just would not fuckin' leave." Again, the man glares at him while stoically cutting into something on his plate. Jason's giggles start up again, reaching for his own glass and lifting it to his face as he speaks. "So- so he's yapping in my ear and I'm desperately trying to figure out a way to either leave or make this little shit leave," He frowns minutely when he realises the glass is empty, deep red staining the bottom from where it has previously been full. He cranes his neck and looks somewhere off-camera, beckoning with his other hand and jerking his head at the glass. "-And this kid is being so fucking annoying, so I-" He wheezes again. The camera zooms out ever so slightly as an assassin comes into frame holding a jug, which upon positioning himself at Jason's back he starts pouring more wine from into Jason's glass. "I thought it would be funny," Jason keeps telling the man next to him, "If-"
A slight commotion draws both Jason and the assassin's attention left, down to the end of the table, where the camera follows to reveal Ra's sitting in all his glory, also eating a meal while seemingly in discussion with multiple other people sitting close by. The camera focuses past the rest of the inhabitants of the table, Talia amongst them only two seats down from the camera-holder, to capture the way Ra's has clearly interrupted his talking and pulled away to glare furiously down the table in Jason's direction. His hand is up, positioned to snap his fingers, and he barks at the assassin, "No. No more for him, cut him off before he makes an even bigger fool of himself."
Just before the camera turns away, Talia turns her head and happens to clock the camera directly down the lense, face instantly transforming from calm to irritated. Then, the camera turns back to focus on Jason, the assassin seen quickly nodding and retreated from his side. Jason purses his lips in annoyance, and without any hesitation raises his hand to flip Ra's off proudly. He then turns to the man on his right and, after a moments deliberation, leans over to take his glass, which is still full. The man glares at him but doesn't say anything, getting pulled away as conversation continues, and Jason takes a sip of pilfered alcohol before turning back to his original conversation partner, drunken grin and giggles abruptly reappearing like they'd never left.
"Anyway, we're at this gala," He snorts, as the elderly man stares down at his place in frustrated resignation. "And I wanna make this neighbour kid go away, right? So I turn to him, and I'm-" He giggles. "-And I'm like," He puts on a mockingly disappointed face, "'Oh shit, oh no, fuck,' like I was really upset about something, right? And he's like, 'what's wrong Jason?' and I go-" A slight wheeze, "I tell him that I've dropped a cufflink somewhere and Bruce will be real mad if I don't find it, right?" He takes another glug of wine, leaning backwards and putting the back of his hand against his mouth to laugh, head tilting towards the elderly man and completely ignoring the fact that he receives no encouragement in turn. "So of course this neighbour kid offers to help me find it and starts lookin' around on the floor and stuff. And we're by this table, right? With a bunch of food and shit on it? So the kid gets on his hands and knees to check under the table and to look around better, and there were-"
Abruptly he lets out a loud cackle, unable to hold his amusement back, and he just barely avoids choking on his wine while trying to finish the story. Through wheezes, he somehow manages to get out in a rapidly elevating tone, "There were these three women talking nearby, not paying attention to us, and- and the kid was kneeling right next to them-," Eyes wet, he takes a break to wheeze helplessly into a hand, sinking down slightly in his chair. "So I-" He chokes. "I yell out really loudly, 'oh my god, ew, are you seriously trying to look up those women's dresses?' AND-" Jason loses it, barely managing to slam his glass of wine down onto the table before he's outright crying for breath, cackling loudly with no control. He sinks lower in his chair desperately before wobbling, and he has to grab onto the table in front to avoid falling onto the floor. The two men he's sitting in-between watch him with a detached sort of dismay, or perhaps disappointment, clearly not matching his energy.
After a few more moments to try and catch his breath, Jason throws himself back up in his chair, waving a hand around in front of his face and shaking his head as wet eyes turn back to the man to his left, continuing desperately. "I have never- I have never seen a child look more fucking betrayed in my entire life. These women turn to him with complete disgust, and he looks up at me like I'd just killed his pet in front of him. He- dude," The man's brow twitches in subtle irritation. "This kid got yelled at for like twenty minutes, and I was just watching him from the other end of the gala the whole time while he disassociated like a fucking trauma victim," Jason wheezes again. "-That kid- that kid never tried to talk to me at a gala ever again, it was fucking fantastic," He cackles. "Best moment of my life, honestly. He started avoiding me, and every now and then I would just see him staring at me from across the room of these events like I was a fucking weeping angel and he thought if he took his eyes off me then I would show up behind him or something."
"Maybe he was planning revenge." Damian's voice finally appears from behind the camera, calling loudly to be heard across the table. Jason turns to catch his eye, snorting and delving back into giggles as he shakes his head.
"Nah, he never did shit," He calls back. A young female also pipes up from somewhere to the right, the camera swinging to show a few seats down, where Mara Al Ghul is leaning forward from her chair to look past the other dinner attendees, mostly unrecognisable, eyebrows narrowed.
"Is this the neighbour that became Robin after your demise?" She yells over at them, loud to drown out the other conversations around them. The camera stays on her as Jason is heard responding, sounding confused.
"What fucking neighbour that became Robin?"
"My Father told me the new Robin was a boy from the building next to Batman's," Mara continues.
"There isn't a new Robin, what are you talking about?" The camera turns back to Jason, who turns his head to the left and jerks his head at somebody. "Ay, Tals," He whistles to get her attention, and the camera turns again to focus down towards Talia, who glances over from her conversation with an assassin standing at her back. "Mara's saying there's a new Robin, the fuck is she on about?"
Talia pauses slightly, and she carefully calls back, "Just eat your food, I'll talk to you about it later."
"No, what the fuck?! Did the Tim kid take Robin or not?" Jason exclaims. Talia's eyes narrow, and she purses her lips.
"I'm not doing this while you're inebriated." And then her gaze travels over in Damian's direction, and she becomes even more annoyed, glaring at the camera. "Damian!" She hisses, leaning towards him slightly. The man sitting in between them nervously stares at his plate, determinedly not paying them any attention, and Talia continues admonishing her son. "I already told you to turn that thing off! Do you want me to take it from you?"
"Mara bought a Gameboy," Damian whines, camera dipping downwards to the table, like it's being lowered so he can speak clearer.
"I told you to stop filming your brother drunk!" She snaps again, not letting up. Damian is heard groaning, loudly, and the frame starts to jerk as he fiddles with the device. Jason is also audibly yelling, filling the background with his tipsy-complaints leading up right until the footage cuts off.
"Are you shitting me- how do you tell Dusan before you fucking tell me?! AND HOW IS STEALING ROBIN A FAIR RESPONSE TO WHAT I DID? THAT'S SO FUCKED UP WHY THE FUCK DID-"
This ties in to that convo on the batcom league days one with tim just taking Jason's picture as he's hobbling around.
Just:
Tim at the gala: one of these days I'll get him back. I'll make him feel the humiliation he made me feel
Tim watching zombie!jason: if I tell bruce, Jason gets robin back.....on the other hand, if I don't thats a later tim problem......welp, paybacks a bitch. Hope that gala moment was worth it, Jason. *takes picture*
Tim trying to not freak out during patrol near red hood: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck payback is a bitch but karma is an even bigger bitch I can't believe I didn't manage to get all copies of that video fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
thinking about a tim drake who knows bruce's new son is the second robin and also only a few years older than him, so he gets really excited at galas and events because it means he can actually hang out with and talk to robin himself, and a jason todd who does not fucking want to speak to anybody and will avoid social interaction at any cost; something tim Will Not Pick Up On, is very dear to me and i need to inject it into everything i do ever.
tim follows jason around during galas like a duckling, babbling his head off and not taking any hints no matter how strong they are, and jason is so fucking tired of this kid that he starts fucking with him the same way dick fucks with him. jason's walking around trying to find a corner to hide in for the rest of the night and tim is at his side refusing to shut the fuck up about architecture or whatever the fuck he's gotten obsessed with that week, so jason just trips him and shoves him into the back of some business guy who's talking in a group, and when the guy turns jason looks at tim and says 'woah, dude, i told you already, just because you like older guys doesn't mean you can smack the ass of every one you pass! i'm so sorry sir, i tried to control him," and then he turns in the opposite direction and speed-walks away while tim is left behind with this group of men staring down at him in judgement and it is literally the most betrayed tim has ever felt in his fucking life.
took me a second to find this post and i don't usually put these on tumblr but i remembered i never elaborated on this and it did specifically end up becoming a heavily elaborated on thing in one of my little practice ficlet thingies so this is. this is jason talking about tim at the league while damian films him.
Across a busy banquet table, Jason is dressed ornately in red and gold, with embroidered golden patterns embedded into the garnet fabric of his outfit. He has rubies dangling from both his ears, and there's a wide grin on his slightly-flushed face. Around him, a table piled with food is clearly circled by multiple people, not all of which are recognisable from other videos. Guards stand to attention at the edges of the room and Jason himself is surrounded on both sides by elderly men also attempting to enjoy their meals, though they side-eye Jason with wary yet distinctly confused looks as the younger teen yaps at them.
"We used to-" Jason snorts, gesturing with his hand at the wrinkled man sitting to his left, who primly raises an eyebrow as he lifts a glass goblet of wine to his lips, watching stiffly as Jason proceeds to get more and more amused by his story before he can even tell it. "We used-" He wheezes, continuing loudly above the other dinner conversation going on around him. "I used to get so bored at those events, man. Like- like I was twelve. I didn't wanna be at some bullshit gala, talkin'a posh people all night. You know?"
Either not noticing or completely ignoring the clear lack of encouragement from the elder man's body language, Jason elbows him lightly for an agreement, grinning and leaning in. The man gives him a thin and visibly uncomfortable half-smile, offering a begrudging head nod which Jason takes and runs with.
"Right!? So I had to keep myself entertained, and there was this kid; this kid-" He wheezes again, leaning forward with the effort and slapping his hand on the table next to his plate. It clangs, silverware rattling, and the man to his right glances over in alarm. The camera shakes slightly, like the person holding it is also struggling to keep their amusement at bay. Jason wipes at his eyes, face reddening from the effort as he gasps, "This kid, he was one of our neighbours I think," He goes on despite the high-pitch of his voice, and his face has to be aching from how wide his smile is. "He was a decent kid; couple years younger than me, but he used to really get on my nerves."
It's barely audible, but the camera manages to zoom in and capture the gritted-teeth through which the man to Jason's left grumbles, "Wonder what that's like," Before moving back over to capture Jason nodding his head jerkily, still snickering.
"He was sweet, but he just never left me alone; and I guess he couldn't really understand social cues that well? Because I was in such a bad mood this night and he just would not fuckin' leave." Again, the man glares at him while stoically cutting into something on his plate. Jason's giggles start up again, reaching for his own glass and lifting it to his face as he speaks. "So- so he's yapping in my ear and I'm desperately trying to figure out a way to either leave or make this little shit leave," He frowns minutely when he realises the glass is empty, deep red staining the bottom from where it has previously been full. He cranes his neck and looks somewhere off-camera, beckoning with his other hand and jerking his head at the glass. "-And this kid is being so fucking annoying, so I-" He wheezes again. The camera zooms out ever so slightly as an assassin comes into frame holding a jug, which upon positioning himself at Jason's back he starts pouring more wine from into Jason's glass. "I thought it would be funny," Jason keeps telling the man next to him, "If-"
A slight commotion draws both Jason and the assassin's attention left, down to the end of the table, where the camera follows to reveal Ra's sitting in all his glory, also eating a meal while seemingly in discussion with multiple other people sitting close by. The camera focuses past the rest of the inhabitants of the table, Talia amongst them only two seats down from the camera-holder, to capture the way Ra's has clearly interrupted his talking and pulled away to glare furiously down the table in Jason's direction. His hand is up, positioned to snap his fingers, and he barks at the assassin, "No. No more for him, cut him off before he makes an even bigger fool of himself."
Just before the camera turns away, Talia turns her head and happens to clock the camera directly down the lense, face instantly transforming from calm to irritated. Then, the camera turns back to focus on Jason, the assassin seen quickly nodding and retreated from his side. Jason purses his lips in annoyance, and without any hesitation raises his hand to flip Ra's off proudly. He then turns to the man on his right and, after a moments deliberation, leans over to take his glass, which is still full. The man glares at him but doesn't say anything, getting pulled away as conversation continues, and Jason takes a sip of pilfered alcohol before turning back to his original conversation partner, drunken grin and giggles abruptly reappearing like they'd never left.
"Anyway, we're at this gala," He snorts, as the elderly man stares down at his place in frustrated resignation. "And I wanna make this neighbour kid go away, right? So I turn to him, and I'm-" He giggles. "-And I'm like," He puts on a mockingly disappointed face, "'Oh shit, oh no, fuck,' like I was really upset about something, right? And he's like, 'what's wrong Jason?' and I go-" A slight wheeze, "I tell him that I've dropped a cufflink somewhere and Bruce will be real mad if I don't find it, right?" He takes another glug of wine, leaning backwards and putting the back of his hand against his mouth to laugh, head tilting towards the elderly man and completely ignoring the fact that he receives no encouragement in turn. "So of course this neighbour kid offers to help me find it and starts lookin' around on the floor and stuff. And we're by this table, right? With a bunch of food and shit on it? So the kid gets on his hands and knees to check under the table and to look around better, and there were-"
Abruptly he lets out a loud cackle, unable to hold his amusement back, and he just barely avoids choking on his wine while trying to finish the story. Through wheezes, he somehow manages to get out in a rapidly elevating tone, "There were these three women talking nearby, not paying attention to us, and- and the kid was kneeling right next to them-," Eyes wet, he takes a break to wheeze helplessly into a hand, sinking down slightly in his chair. "So I-" He chokes. "I yell out really loudly, 'oh my god, ew, are you seriously trying to look up those women's dresses?' AND-" Jason loses it, barely managing to slam his glass of wine down onto the table before he's outright crying for breath, cackling loudly with no control. He sinks lower in his chair desperately before wobbling, and he has to grab onto the table in front to avoid falling onto the floor. The two men he's sitting in-between watch him with a detached sort of dismay, or perhaps disappointment, clearly not matching his energy.
After a few more moments to try and catch his breath, Jason throws himself back up in his chair, waving a hand around in front of his face and shaking his head as wet eyes turn back to the man to his left, continuing desperately. "I have never- I have never seen a child look more fucking betrayed in my entire life. These women turn to him with complete disgust, and he looks up at me like I'd just killed his pet in front of him. He- dude," The man's brow twitches in subtle irritation. "This kid got yelled at for like twenty minutes, and I was just watching him from the other end of the gala the whole time while he disassociated like a fucking trauma victim," Jason wheezes again. "-That kid- that kid never tried to talk to me at a gala ever again, it was fucking fantastic," He cackles. "Best moment of my life, honestly. He started avoiding me, and every now and then I would just see him staring at me from across the room of these events like I was a fucking weeping angel and he thought if he took his eyes off me then I would show up behind him or something."
"Maybe he was planning revenge." Damian's voice finally appears from behind the camera, calling loudly to be heard across the table. Jason turns to catch his eye, snorting and delving back into giggles as he shakes his head.
"Nah, he never did shit," He calls back. A young female also pipes up from somewhere to the right, the camera swinging to show a few seats down, where Mara Al Ghul is leaning forward from her chair to look past the other dinner attendees, mostly unrecognisable, eyebrows narrowed.
"Is this the neighbour that became Robin after your demise?" She yells over at them, loud to drown out the other conversations around them. The camera stays on her as Jason is heard responding, sounding confused.
"What fucking neighbour that became Robin?"
"My Father told me the new Robin was a boy from the building next to Batman's," Mara continues.
"There isn't a new Robin, what are you talking about?" The camera turns back to Jason, who turns his head to the left and jerks his head at somebody. "Ay, Tals," He whistles to get her attention, and the camera turns again to focus down towards Talia, who glances over from her conversation with an assassin standing at her back. "Mara's saying there's a new Robin, the fuck is she on about?"
Talia pauses slightly, and she carefully calls back, "Just eat your food, I'll talk to you about it later."
"No, what the fuck?! Did the Tim kid take Robin or not?" Jason exclaims. Talia's eyes narrow, and she purses her lips.
"I'm not doing this while you're inebriated." And then her gaze travels over in Damian's direction, and she becomes even more annoyed, glaring at the camera. "Damian!" She hisses, leaning towards him slightly. The man sitting in between them nervously stares at his plate, determinedly not paying them any attention, and Talia continues admonishing her son. "I already told you to turn that thing off! Do you want me to take it from you?"
"Mara bought a Gameboy," Damian whines, camera dipping downwards to the table, like it's being lowered so he can speak clearer.
"I told you to stop filming your brother drunk!" She snaps again, not letting up. Damian is heard groaning, loudly, and the frame starts to jerk as he fiddles with the device. Jason is also audibly yelling, filling the background with his tipsy-complaints leading up right until the footage cuts off.
"Are you shitting me- how do you tell Dusan before you fucking tell me?! AND HOW IS STEALING ROBIN A FAIR RESPONSE TO WHAT I DID? THAT'S SO FUCKED UP WHY THE FUCK DID-"
It starts with Superman. At first, no one noticed, because Clark is always surrounded by adoring fans whenever he takes the time to interact with the civilians. He's used to people crowding around, begging for photos, autographs, and even handing him gifts.
Clark follows Bruce's suggestion to avoid autographs but allows selfies and accepts gifts. He tries to say yes only to kids, though, because he has a soft spot for them and doesn't trust the adults. After a normal save- a school bus almost fell off the edge of a bridge after three tires popped and the driver lost control- he was once again surrounded by children begging for his attention.
Amid the chaos, Clark's arms were filled with gifts from well-meaning teens who talked over one another and clustered close. Everywhere he looked, there was a teen with bright eyes and a wide smile, many clutching thier phones for a photo or two. Clark allowed them close for about three minutes before he politely excused himself and flew away, ignoring their disappointment.
He checked every gift, high in the sky, making sure there was no tracking or dangerous item. Once they passed his checks, Clark flew to his apartment, making sure he wasn't followed. After touching up his latest story- writing was mostly editing, he found- he took a bath and got himself some dinner.
Only then, right before he was set to head off to bed, did Clark bother to go through the gifts. Most were drawings and handmade beaded bracelets that reminded him fondly of his own high school days. There was one Superman plushie that seemed handmade, which found its way to a shelf in his room, but the one gift that really stole the show was the very last one.
It was a scroll that, upon unrolling, melted Clark's heart. It was an ink painting of Superman saving an elderly couple. It was obviously from the fire a month ago at the Daily Planet, and the couple was someone very dear to the hero.
There, in bold, sharp black lines, was Clark carrying his Ma and Pa out of the fire, thier faces beaming with love. The artist made the artistic decision not to include the disaster he was rescuing them from, so the image depicted the hair midflight with his parents in each arm, the wing blowing thier hair and thier smiles wide and warm.
He would hang this in his fortress as soon as he flew by the farm to show his parents. He stared at it a little longer before rolling it up and hiding it in his closet behind a false wall.
Clark never suspected anything because there was a picture of Superman saving the Kents, taken by one Jimmy Olsen. He fell asleep that night thinking about how much his family would love it.
That was until the monthly Justice League meeting, where the painting came up in casual conversation after it concluded and members were in the process of leaving. Barry was just retelling his most daring rescue of a group of high schoolers at science camp, outrunning a flood to reach the children. He was also showered with gifts, but his favorite was the ink painting of him running with Iris in his arms from the time he got her out of a building with a bomb.
Clark doesn't normally interrupt a conversation- because his Pa raised him better than that- but he couldn't help it this time. "An ink painting? I got one of those from a teenager two weeks ago."
"I got one too," Hal yells from across the table. He's leaning his cheek back with his feet up. Clark knows Bruce is fighting every instinct in himself to not snap at Hal to take his feet off the table. "It was even in a fancy scroll."
"Mine too." Barry and Clark say at the same time. The three pause, exchanging confused looks. A throat clears on the other side of the room; the men turn to find Diana standing there holding a very familiar scroll.
It is the same fabric that Clark's was made of, the same dark material with the twisting green swirls around the painting. The painting itself was of Wonder Woman, sword held high above her, shield at her side, and right behind her, smiling upwards at her like the goddess she is, stands Steve Trevor.
Except Steve Trevor has been dead for over eight decades. There was no way a random high school had found a picture of him, because Diana had spent years looking for pictures of him and had only found two, both too blurry to really see his facial features. The government had destroyed nearly all records of him when Steve became a part of a secret task force in WWII and couldn't afford to have him linked back to the USA.
This meant the gift giver was someone who had gone out of their way to find Steve and knew that he was someone special to Wonder Woman. Which meant this person also knew that the people they had painted for the other members weren't a wonderful accident but a deliberate choice to use thier family members.
"This just became a risk to our loved ones," Diana announces, hand tight around the top of the scroll
Hal stopped rocking in his chair, swearing softly. "They painted my niece and nephew after I saved them from a fire. I did a few loops and tricks in the air to help calm them down, so a lot of photos of us were taken. I assumed that the artist just used one as a reference. I had no idea that....."
His words fade, but no one calls him out on it. Clark's own heart was hammering in his chest, worry and anxiety licking at his stomach in a nauseating manner. The knowledge that someone out there knew his parents and was even bold enough to taunt him by sending him a painting scared him more than he thought he was capable of feeling.
The four gathered around, retelling how they received their gifts and comparing notes for any similarities. The one thing that stood out was that the scroll was always dropped off when a group of teenagers was nearby, meaning the one behind it was either using teenagers or was a teenager themselves.
"Do you think we are the only ones being targeted?" Clark questions while tapping his arm. "Does anyone else in the League receive them?"
"I'll send out a message," Barry offers, typing away on his tablet. A beep goes off on everyone's communicators, reading out the message in code and calling all members back for an emergency briefing. "We need to make it quick. I don't like leaving Iris alone now that I know someone knows about her."
Turns out every one of the main seven had received a scroll, which made everyone uneasy. Almost everyone.
"Did you not like them?" Bruce doesn't pout, but it's the closest any of them have ever seen him get to. "He worked really hard on them."
"He? Batman, do you know who sent these?"
The Dark Knight leans back in his seat, as stoic as the day they met him, but everyone knows him well enough to see the emotions just beneath his skin. Bruce was preening.
"My son painted those."
"Robin?" Clark frowns. "Why did he not just give it to us at the Watch Tower?"
"No. My other son. He doesn't know he's my son, but I know that he's my son, and I'm watching him go out in the world and act like he's not my son."
"Hold on." Barry holds up an arm. "I got confused. Which Robin are we talking about?"
"None."
".....Then how is he your son?"
"He's my biological child, whom I had during a fling with his parents during thier visit to the Tower of London."
"Parent s. As in plural?" Hal cuts in, eyebrows raised.
"Yes." Bruce nods once, sharply, decisively. And because they know him so well, smugly, "They're ghost hunters."
"Right, so your biological son, who doesn't know he's yours because he was raised by the two-thirds of your threesome, painted pictures of our family members and gave them to us as gifts." Oliver summarized, with confusion clearly coloring his words. "Does that mean he knows our secret identities?"
"Yes."
"Did you tell him?" Clark asks
"No."
"Then how does he know?"
Bruce paused for a single second before he shrugged. "He takes after me. He painted one for me as well"
They watch the man eagerly pull a scroll from its strap on his utility belt, letting it roll open on its own. It's an awe-inspiring painting of Batman mid-swing over the city of Gotham, with the moon behind him. It has bold, thick lines that create a contrast with the white fabric.
It is a true masterpiece....were it not for the giant world written across the scroll.
"It says menace."
"Yes. He does not like Batman"
Diana very delicately stepped closer, placing one comforting hand on Bruce's shoulder. "He'll come around."
"He will not. He thinks Batman is a ghost and has attempted to kill me multiple times. He won't let me close enough to talk"
There is another heavier pause before Clark stands. "All in favor of helping Batman with his child, say aye."
"Aye." The word is echoed by six different voices.
Bruce rolls up his scroll. "That's nice."
"Don't worry, Batman. How hard can it be to track down an ink artist?"
Two years later, Clark is sobbing into his hands in the conference room that has been covered inch by inch with Ink paintings. Every new piece is a new taunt. A reminder that for all his superpowers, he had nothing on the mind of a very determined and petty Wayne. "Where is he? Where is that boy?"
"What is he!? A ghost!?" Hal flings blurry photos over the table, each with a teenage boy. He's never in focus, rarely facing the camera, and the only thing clear about him is his bright green eyes, which almost seem to glow. "How can none of us get a good picture of him!?
Bruce turns from where he's admiring his son's latest work. "Wait a minute. You might be on to something."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 83 (masterpost here)
Bruce: -need to tail them while you download the contents of the server, and Red Robin you contact the authorities. i'll see you soon.
Damian: on it.
Tim: so i'm just the phone guy now, huh?
Dick: i told you to come over to Diamond District and run with me for the night, Red. weapons dealings are always boring.
Bruce, tired: just do your jobs, please.
*connecting ping*
Jason: where's my favourite boy?
Dick: ...that could mean any of us, Hood.
Damian: i'm here.
Jason: THERE YOU ARE!
Tim: *loud snort* how insecure you feeling right now, Nightwing?
Dick: i don't want to talk about it.
Jason: ok baby boy, i need you over in the alley toot-sweet.
Damian: i'm kinda busy on a case right now, akhi.
Bruce: Hood, are you in need of back up?
Jason: no- why do you always assume everybody needs back up all the time? do you not have any trust in your children to handle themselves at any point in their lives??
Bruce: well maybe it's just because my children never contact me unless they need back up and i've learnt to expect it?
Dick: ooooh~
Jason, without missing a beat: not true, i hit you up for money like last week.
Bruce, dry: yes, i stand corrected.
Damian: what do you need from me in the alley? Red is being pretty useless tonight, he could go in my place.
Jason: no i need a child your age. i'm gonna go fight this woman in my neighbourhood, and if she brings out her kid to help her in the fight then i need you to take care of him.
*a beat*
Bruce: what?
Damian: is this the Caroline woman that banned you from your HOA?
Bruce: ...what?
Dick: oh my god, that's still going on?!
Jason: she called the cops on me for being 'too loud' despite the fact that she doesn't even live in my building and the night she called to complain i wasn't even fuckin' home because i was in Bludhaven with Dick.
Dick: *cackling* dude this woman hates you-!
Tim: what did the cops say?!
Jason: the cops work for me, Timmers. like, half the local precinct are on Red Hood's payroll and have been around me enough that they've gotten an inkling that 'Todd Peters from apartment 3B' is probably their boss in civilian form. they sent me a heads up that Carol was up to her usual shit and then told me to have a good night.
Tim: man, i really need to get my own territory so i can get dirty cops on my side.
Dick: *sympathetic click* not gonna happen while you're living under B's roof, i'm afraid.
Damian: yeah i tried to accept a bribe from a dirty cop once; Father hit me.
Bruce: i did not hit you, i lightly smacked you upside the head- you really need to stop telling people that i hit you. and can we get back to Hood and this Caroline woman? what's going on, i thought you said you didn't need back up?
Dick: oh he doesn't, Caroline isn't like. a rogue or anything.
Jason, bitterly mumbling: fuckin' might as well be, once i'm done with her.
Tim: Hood's in a civilian battle with a bunch of PTA moms in his neighbourhood that don't like him.
Bruce, slightly hopeful: they have an issue with the way Red Hood runs the alley?
Jason: *cackle* nope, sorry B! they love Hood, they just don't know i am Hood.
Dick: they sent out a Facebook warning about Jason because some kid broke into his house and got hurt in the security measures and they blamed him for it.
Jason: yeah- admittedly hearting the post from the Batman Facebook account probably wasn't a great plan; now they've gotten a massive ego boost and are trying to get an audience with the Red Hood to campaign that i run myself out of the alley.
Bruce: ...all this is because her child broke into your house?
Jason: YEAH IT'S FUCKED UP. WE HAVE A WHOLE-ASS TURF WAR GOING ON OVER HERE. ME AND MY GIRLS AND THE GAY COUPLE THAT LIVES ABOVE ME AGAINST THE ENTIRE HOA AND THIS BITCH'S ASSHOLE SON.
Damian: why are you fighting her tonight?
Jason: well, we figured out a way to attempt to 'settle our differences'. so i'm going to one of the evening HOA meetings with a bunch of my neighbours and me and Carol are going to attempt to have a friendly but public debate about the issue,
Tim: *snort*
Jason: and you know, i figured; hey, Damian's a mean kid.
Dick: *wheezes*
Bruce, sighing: Hood, don't say things like that about your brother.
Jason: NO IN A- IN A NICE WAY! i want him to back me in this debate so that he can put his skills to use and mentally eviscerate these middle-aged women while i grin in the background and drink wine straight from the bottle.
Damian: god- i- i wanna do that so bad- that's my dream way to spend an evening,
Tim: you're an odd child.
Jason: ok so get over here, the meeting starts in thirty minutes!
Damian: ok hold on-
Bruce: excuse me, Robin, you cannot just run off in the middle of a case like this. especially not to go bully civilians.
Damian: oh come on, Red can cover for me!
Tim, dryly: but then who will handle the phones?
Dick: *snickering*
Bruce: no, i'm not signing off on this. Robin, you're staying with me for the night, and that's final.
*seven seconds of silence*
Tim: *sudden wheeze*
Bruce, tired: ...what's going on over there?
Damian: you can't stop me if you have no car to catch me with.
*disconnecting ping*
Bruce: what did he-
Tim, still laughing: he took off in the Batmobile.
Dick: *cackles*
Jason, proud: i love that child.
Bruce: oh for- he knows i can track that car,
Jason: AH AH AH- YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T FOLLOW HIM, IT'S DANGEROUS TO HIS IDENTITY. if you bust in as Batman when he's in civilian form talking about the fucking Batmobile, it puts unnecessary strain on your secret identities! for safety, you have to let Damian attend!
Bruce: Hood, you can't just-
Jason: yes i can.
Bruce: Hood.
Jason, quickly: love you Dad.
*shocked silence*
Bruce: w-
*disconnecting ping*
Bruce: WH-???
Dick: ...genius move by Jason there, gotta admit.
Tim: that's the biggest get out of jail free card i think... in existence. he really wanted to see Damian argue with these neighbourhood moms.
Dick: i mean can you blame him? you saw the kid make that lawyer cry.
*a beat*
Tim: B, you ok there? kinda quiet.
*silence*
Dick: yeah i'm gonna head over to your guys' area-
Tim: -might have to take over for Batman tonight, i think.
