Undue Profundity Perplex and Enfeeble Thought

if you haven’t watched this film with the commentary then you are missing out, it’s hilarious. “Lemony Snicket” was completely unhappy with the film and wanted no real part of it and so in the commentary he just fucks about. Seriously, at one point he gets out an accordion and drowns out the director with his playing

“nearly all of my life”

Lemony Snicket sass is what I aspire to in life.

Local Egg-Man Impaled By A Huge Fucking Stag 

This is, in all likelihood, the most important post I’ve ever made on this blue-bordered website.

holy shit. 

I hate how relatable this is.

If you reblog this, in the next 30 seconds you will become a dragon.

Not gonna take the chance of not becoming a dragon

I’m already a dragon. *puts on shades, looks at savings*

#2017 mood

Also, his eyes aren’t in his head. They’re in his hands. He only sees what he reaches for, what he desires, what he wants.

well fuck me

A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.

I would watch the crap outta this like wow

Just imagine the Catholic Church making a statement regarding this new tv show.

This is the most hardcore sequel to Inside Out.

People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about lmao Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.

you ever see girls that are so pretty that you don’t know what to do with yourself

i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized

this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.

at a football game a pretty girl told me i was cute and she also called me kiddo and i couldnt play my instrument right for the rest of the night

every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis

this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body

one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her

today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed

at work this summer there was a pretty girl who came in multiple times a week and every single day she showed up I would lose the ability to form coherent sentences for at least ten minutes

A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned. 

There’s a REALLY pretty girl in my band class and she’s three chairs away from me and every time I even glance up at her she looks back and smiles at me and I forget how to read music

This entire post just added 10 years to my life and soul

Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.

honestly me every time i see my gf, like holy shit, but also once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died

Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together. (She laughed at me, but that’s okay, because she married me two years later.)

This thread ended in the best possible way. I hope y'all stay pure

anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity

My dad’s literal first words on holding me for the first time were “ …she’s done this before, and she’s not happy to be back.”

That is such a badass thing to say about a newborn

FYI the name Dennis is derived from Dionysus. That is all.

this means…denny’s….

Denny’s is absolutely the domain of a god of chaos and revelry