The World Is A Strange Place

I will reblog this every Christmas season I’m on tumblr.

It’s beginning to look a lot like shit scram

Oh my god

pretty fucked up that theres air mattresses and water mattresses, but no earth or fire ones. whats up witht hat huh

ur twenties are weird. i have the priorities of a kindergartener again. i don’t know what in the hell is going on EVER. i like colors. i like soup. i want to take a nap

My favourite thing about that show is how he treats servers. It was also the source of some very intense fantasies when I was a barista of him busting into my cafe, calling my boss a fucking idiot, then taking me against the broken dishwasher.

sometimes i get a little stressed out because i’m living in a part of history that’ll one day be talked about and discussed and papers written and what am i doing? what have i done? laundry, barely

It’s okay to exist in a time of historical change doing laundry, barely.

Narcissus taking a selfie is the ACTUAL best.

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

I tried to scroll past I really did

beautiful set up, perfect follow-through. great teamwork everyone

You know, in a horror movie, everyone always responds with a flight response when they see the monster. But that’s not the only thing that happens when people get scared. I want to see someone choose the fight response. I want to see a character turn around to see the killer right there, scream in terror, and start punching them in the face repeatedly.

So apparently in Skyrim, if you just eat all your stolen items in between the “wait I know you” and actually getting arrested, the guard will just… walk away???

You do know you can just… keep walking, right? Also why are you only stealing food items???

It’s about the mental image of a guard starting to apprehend you, watching you devour three cheese wheels in like half a second (presumably looking him dead in the eyes as you do), and deciding that he is not getting paid enough to deal with this bullshit.

one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”

i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.

ya she’s my buddy i love her!

update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!) 

GREAT UPDATE NOW YOU HAVE SIX FRIENDS!!!

ya they’re my buddies i love them!!!!!

i found my new favorite post on this website 

Stage 5: Mlem

it’s amazing when ur humor is exactly the same as someone elses & u both just spend the whole day laughing at everything u both say